Audio Time Team

Gallifrey 2010 - Day Three

2010-07-05T18:22:00.001-05:00

So I posted Day One of my production journal for Innsmouth Public Library and within 10 minutes of that post going up got called out publicly on Twitter for not having finished my Gally Travelogue. (Thanks, Matthew)

Enjoy!

Let the OCD organizing of materials for autographing begin #gally 9:33 AM Feb 26th via Viigo

John has been a rather horrible influence on me. I used to not really care about autographs. I got them because the people were there and I had the items to sign. Now I'm his mini-me, making lists and checking them twice in terms of stuff I want signed. The night before I left for Gally I was on the floor of my apartment on the phone to him bemoaning the fact that I had nearly twenty items for Paul Cornell to sign and no clue what to cut from the list. (For the record I brought it all and just got as much as I could signed.) Friday morning them found both us finalizing what we would go through the day's autograph lines with. It's a rather sad and painstaking process involving post-it notes, bag placement, and deciding where the actual signature should go.

Did I not get the memo that Apple is apparently the official laptop of Gallifey One? Not that I really care since I hate Apple. #gally 11:01 AM Feb 26th via Viigo

For the first time the Marriot had free wifi in the lobby and boy did we take advantage of it. Just about every socket and scrap of real estate large enough for a laptop was being used in the hours before the convention started properly. And I was clearly the freak as I was one of the few people not sporting an Apple laptop of some kind. Not that I felt left out since as the tweet says I'm not a fan of Apple but admittedly the sea of Apple icons staring back at me in the lobby was quite impressive.

Wish I could've taken better advantage of everything starting at noon but no, body wanted to be up at 6am. Cruk. #gally 11:50 AM Feb 26th via Viigo

I have a horrible time getting any amount of decent sleep when I go to conventions. Partly I think it's due to the time difference and partly I think it's due to my overall excitement of seeing my friends again. As I've said before these conventions feel like summer camp in a way. An opportunity to play, relax, and spend time with people you only see when you go to camp. Even though I had gone to bed early the night before, earning me the nickname of Snooze Leprechaun from Handsome Timmy D, I was still up bright and too damn early. Normally six hours of sleep would be good, but since it was the first real bit of sleep I'd gotten since leaving Houston for LA on Wednesday I wasn't pleased in slightest. Especially since I knew I'd be getting less sleep as the days went by. I am glutton for punishment like that.

Hey, dude is cosplaying Victorian Jason Kane from short story pitch by @purserhallard for #Bernice anthology that wasn't accepted. #gally 12:01 PM Feb 26th via web

I am horribly nerdy. (Or a horrible nerd, I can never get it quite right) In this case I'm playing the role of Uber Bernice Summerfield nerd with this tweet. Philip Purser Hallard has written for Bernice in the past and he's really good about putting up all sorts of related goodies on his website as stories get published. One of the items he has up are some rejected pitches for the Something Changed anthology. One of the pitches involves Bernice, Jason, Peter, and Haas finding themselves transported back to Victorian era England. Couple this little nugget rattling around in my brain with seeing an 8 ^th Doctor cosplayer with long flowing Pantene hair, add a bit of imagining what an Adrian Salmon cover for this story might look like and you get the above tweet. Also quite frankly I think it would be awesome if people would actually cosplay Bernice and the other characters from The Collection. I mean, hell, if people are going to cosplay Adric and Evelyn Smyth then surely there's a brave soul out there that wants to cosplay as Benny.

Have I mentioned I have issues before?

God's telling me I shouldn't have Denny's as chick is breastfeeding right in line of sight of good eye. #restaurantfail 1:31 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

We met up with Dan and his roommate, Jessica, after noon and decided to go get some real food that didn't cost almost as much as a night in the hotel. Denny's is just a few blocks down the road and I was craving Moons Over My Hammy. At least I was until some chick whipped her breast out to feed her kid right in my line of sight. I'm all for breastfeeding and while I don't think you should be hidden in a cave to do so in public I'm just asking for a little consideration for your fellow restaurant patrons. How about ask to be placed in a corner so not as many people have unobstructed views to your breast or sit in such a way as the other people if your party hide you. Just remember not everyone wants to watch that.

Outside of the intentional nipple slippage I was subjected to lunch was fun. It was nice to relax from the gathering convention frenzy in the relative peace and quiet of Denny's. Jessica quickly became one of us as we all found a shared love of Starblazers and Brent Spiner and LeVar Burton on Twitter.

Line to not be in a line for autographs forming in a non-line where guy was hiding under baby grand piano to go ninja on me. #gally 2:21 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

This year Gallifrey tried something different for the autograph process. Instead of having us line up for possibly an hour or so before a session thereby causing a person to miss a panel they might've wanted to go to they instituted the “Fly Away” system. It works similar to the ticketing system employed by Southwest where earlier in the day you gain a spot in a particular autograph group. Then you could just show up to the session based on which group you were in. Let's say a particular session started at 3pm. If you were in group 1 then you knew you could show up right at the start and get your autograph. Conversely if you had a slot in group 10 then you could take your time and not rush out of panel, knowing that there were 9 other groups in front of you. No fuss, no muss.

At least on paper.

In reality the first day was a fucking nightmare. I didn't have to stand in line to get my autographs but I had to stand in line to get ticket to not stand in line. Add to that that this time around autographs were going to be upstairs in an area off of the lobby. The space itself was larger, but it's relative short distance from the lobby meant that queuing up for the autograph ticket was a bit of a pain in the ass. Also it was also in the same area as doors that lead to the kitchen so we constantly had to be wary of blocking that door and other fire code violation goodies. Mix in to the equation people not completely understanding how the system worked, especially those that don't frequent the forums and it's a recipe for disaster.

John and I rolled up to the first ticket giveaway to already find people camping out with no real sense of organization. As mentioned we discovered one guy under the piano who was ahead of us in line, but since he was hidden we didn't originally take him into consideration. Overall it was a huge clusterfuck with us not understanding what was going on and those running the sessions barely having any idea that first day as it was a totally new system they hadn't used before. Also Gallifrey might have been the biggest test for this system since it's one of the biggest conventions within fandom. Especially when the next tweet happened.

Back in line so I don't have to be in another line later. No idea how they're going to work it with Georgia signing an hour later. #gally 3:55 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

Wednesday night it had been announced the Sarah Sutton wasn't going to be able to make the convention due to a family emergency. Naturally we all felt bad and hoped everything worked itself out for the best, but it left a few holes for convention organizers to fill. They decided to fill her Friday interview slow with Georgia Moffat and Alice Troughton doing commentary on “The Doctor's Daughter”. This was a great idea, except that it put it at the same time they had been scheduled to do the Friday autograph session. We were assured that while they didn't have all the kinks ironed out yet, Georgia and Alice would indeed be making the session, just late. Oh how history would bear out the need for a better plan to have been executed prior to them announcing the change in plans.

Holding pen for autographs feels like AA meeting or airline boarding lounge without TSA ready to search bags. #gally 4:29 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

After being in lines not to be in lines and catching some panels it was time for the first autograph session of the day. I was slotted for the first group and as such got admittance first to the first legit line of the day. In a potentially bad use of space they gathered us in a room and then we'd march through a back hallway to get to the other side of the partition that housed the guests signing. We'd just sit in this room waiting our turn to go through the doors and I found myself doing the requisite AA jokes of introducing myself and admitting I'm a Doctor Who fan.

Led the line for autographs because I rock. Might rescind greedy pig manuever and not go through 2nd time. #gally 5:01 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

I am the daddy mack of autograph lines. At least in this case since I was in group one and John ended up group two even though he was right behind me in the first line not to be in a line earlier in the day. When we had gotten our tickets we were told that after passing through the line once we could get another ticket to go through again if there were any left to be had.

(Proper hashtag) Committed sacrilege at #gally by telling Colin Teague that Being Human is best thing on telly. #beinghuman 5:20 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

I did this rather quietly, leaning in as he signed my convention program. I absolutely adore Being Human and at the time I firmly believed that it was the best thing coming out there, even better than Doctor Who. (Series 31 has thoroughly changed my stance on this.) I was afraid I might be beaten to death by all the 10 ^th Doctor cosplayers so I made sure not to speak too loudly. He thanked me and admitted that he thought Breaking Bad was the best thing on television at the moment. Sadly he didn't engage at Lobbycon as I fully think he'd have been great fun.

I'm not your pet monkey. Not doing some bullshit "badge dance" to get into the dealer's room. Just ask to see my badge you douche. #gally 6:20 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

Volunteers are employed to make sure only people registered for the convention get in to the dealer's room. In a way I don't get this as I'd think it wouldn't be a bad thing if someone just happened to wander in and buy something. Sure, convention organizers may not make any money off the transaction, but obviously the vendor might make a few extra bucks they wouldn't have without the random stranger walking in. And a vendor making more money can only be a happy vendor, right?

Anyway, you've got to go through the hassle of showing your badge when you want to go into the dealer's room, even if you've been walking in and out all day. On general principle I hate having to prove my right to be some place. I still bitch when I get carded for booze though people tell me I should be flattered that I look young enough to be questioned. I just see it as a waste of time. I normally affix my badge to pant pockets or some similarly less than conspicuous place so it's bit of a hassle when I am asked to show it.

This time around the volunteers decided to make a little game and ask people to do a dance of some sort before going inside. As you can imagine my natural hatred of such things go increased by the power of ten. I just turned enough to show the badge, muttered something non complimentary and went my merry way. I could hear them say it wasn't much a dance as I walked away and it was everything I had not to turn back and rip them a new one. Their job is to make sure only convention goers get to go inside and that's it. They're supposed to sit there for an hour or so just looking at badges. Don't give us grief because boredom has set in. Remember, you volunteered for that job.

Second autograph session becomes clusterfuck from hell. #gally 7:37 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

Yep, the lack of proper organization and explanation once Georgia and Alice got slotted to do commentary reared its ugly head. All we were told was that they would be arriving late and that we were assured of getting their autographs. At no point in the initial conversation were we told that if we went through earlier we could show back up when they showed up. Missing that nugget of information John and I showed up before they did and got the new piece of information. Our greedy natures along with the staff sort of begging us to go through the line since a lot of people were going to come when Georgia and Alice did caused us to go on through. We thought we'd get through relatively fast and then just queue back up, getting not only them but a second shot at some of the other people we had multiple items for.

In reality it turned out be a good thing that we got into line at all. It was running slower than we'd have thought and we were still in it when Georgia and Alice showed up. That's when things went to hell in a handbasket. The main line grew as people showed up for the first time and a second line sprang out of nowhere with people who had gone through once and now just needed Georgia and Alice. The problem became that there was no real rhyme or reason to the second line. It was just catch as catch can as staff tried to slot them in every so often between those of us that were still in line going through the first time. Add to this the room being insanely hot and people committing the horrible sin of actually talking to the guests while stuff was being signed and you can imagine how pissed people were getting across the board. No one was having Happy Funtime by the end of the session as people sweated in line and were getting yelled at by staff for any little transgression of the autograph rules.

See what happens when you don't have a plan in place?

Tailgating before Tanuke Suit Riot. #gally 10:37 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

Tanuka Suit Riot (couldn't spell their name right) is a band that specializes in doing covers of fandom related music themes. John, Dan, Zach, Keefe, Cathy and myself started the evening festivities right by hanging out together for some cocktails in the hallway before the show started.

More lines at the "no line" convention. #gally 10:50 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

This joke would get a lot mileage at the convention owing to the “Fly Away” system of autographs. In this case I was using it because we had to wait in line to get into the main ballroom for Tanuka Suit Riot.

Why are there chairs for a concert? No room to dance. #gally #concertfail 11:06 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

Apparently the room was set up for the Mysterious Theater guys who were to come on after the concert. This meant the room was full of chairs and the only safe place to dance was at the back of the room. It also killed the vibe in the room and most of the people sat, completely unresponsive to the music. Surely something could've been worked out where maybe half of the room was devoid of chairs and an army of volunteers ready to go when the show was over to set them back up. It just felt like a disservice to the band to not have a room conducive to people to properly enjoy themselves.

Weeping Angel Porn! FTW! #gally 11:32 PM Feb 26th via Viigo

I shall let you interpret this one on your own. Suffice to say Dan's visual interpretation of how this would work was hilarious. Those in the porn industry are more than welcome to call me and I'll explain this goldmine of an idea to you. I'm looking at you Vivid.

Grabbed a red vine thinking it was a twizzler. Sadness. #gally #ginandtitonicparty 1:33 AM Feb 27th via Viigo

There's a group of guys that every year host the most awesome room party known to man. This year's theme was the Starship Titanic complete with functioning wall panels simulating graphics seen on the show and it was called Gin and Titonic. As the copious amounts of Bellini's I consumed confirm, it's quite an awesome party. Along with drinks there's a mixture of goodies to be had food-wise and I got fooled by the red vines which are horrid pieces of shit compared to Twizzlers.

http://twitpic.com/15ltre - @boozeleprechaun in the house! #gally 3:18 AM Feb 27th via TwitPic

Gin and Titonic was so damn cool along with so many other fun things happen downstairs that I held off going into full Boozeleprechaun mode until after midnight when I mistakenly though Gin and Titonic was winding down. I felt it was kind of stupid to sit upstairs with tons of booze and no one to drink it because they were off having fun other places.

Once I finally decided to spring into action John had already gone to bed. This created quite the hilarious attempt on my part to get the beer, moon pies, and Girl Scout cookies out of the room involving myself and three others going into commando mode as not to wake John up. I'm talking getting down on one knee and holding my hand up to signal silence whole bit. In what we thought was super secret ninja mode I had one person hold the door open as I silently went into retrieve all the goodies bit by bit, passing them off to the others that were ready to help.

I learned the next morning I was not a ninja and had managed to wake John up.

Sitting next to Girl Scout cookie aficionado. Apparently we choose wisely. #gally 4:10 AM Feb 27th via Viigo

I brought Girl Scout cookies because I thought it would be something fun and different to go along with the beer. Little did I know that I was fulfilling some unspoken need as we were swamped be people who were more interested in cookies than booze. One of them was quite the learned man on the subject of Girl Scout cookies as he looked at the bottom of the box, saw who manufactured them, and declared my batch to be good. Apparently there's two factories where the cookies come from. This is why cookies can have two different names though they're the same depending on where you are in the country. My cookies from Texas come from the ABC bakery and seem to be the better of the two as my Girl Scout cookie guru explained in between sobs of joy and bites of cookies. Later on in the convention we would see other boxed of Girl Scout cookies as I would seem to have started a trend. At least that's why I tell myself to further stroke my ego.

Fuckwads helped themselves to beer. Stunt double for Danny from "Withnail and I" will wind up in a pool of vomit. #gally 5:13 AM Feb 27th via Viigo

I freely give my beer but I'm smart about it since I'm in the lobby and therefore can't control who comes and goes. I will card you if you look young and I'll be hesitant to give you any if I don't know you. Especially if you roll up on me already stinking of booze and clearly drunk. If you're a stranger and people can't/won't vouch for you I'm careful. All it takes is for one idiot to get sick or worse for the hotel to stop Lobbycon to protect itself. In this case these jokers had already made a play for my beer and told them they weren't going to get any. They ended up helping themselves to some while I was conversing with others. Trust me when I say these asshats have ruined it for the rest of you at future cons.

Bed. #gally 6:28 AM Feb 27th via Viigo

I finally crawled in to bed around 3 or so. (My tweet feeds from this time don't take into account the time change) I wanted to stay up for the opening of the Starbucks but I just couldn't hold on.

There's always tomorrow.

Public Service Announcement - Hurricane Who: Category 2

2010-04-22T12:25:00.001-05:00

If you frequent the forum at Gallifrey Base then you are hopefully aware of the current situation involving Hurricane Who: Category 2, a convention scheduled to take place in Orlando in October. If not, then please be aware that at this moment things are very tenuous at the moment and if you were thinking of going PLEASE do not purchase tickets at the moment.

IDW's Doctor Who writer Tony Lee has posted on his site this morning an explanation of things as he understands them as someone that was scheduled to appear at the event this year and his decision to change his mind. Please take a moment to read his post and if possible pass it along.

Obviously as things change and if the fortunes of the convention change I'll definitely pass that along.

UPDATE - April 28th
Things have changed in that the site is no longer taking money for the convention itself though you can still book rooms. Word has also emerged that a group is looking at the possibility of restructuring things enough to allow the convention to happen.

Gallifrey 2010 - Days One and Two

2010-03-04T18:25:00.012-06:00

This year I'm going to do something a tad different in regards to the travelogue of my adventures to the annual Doctor Who convention in Los Angeles. I'm going to use the less offensive tweets from the affair and fill in the gaps along with lovely photos taken on Jocelyn, my new Blackberry. In advance I'd like to say with much pride that for once I didn't manage to injure myself in a fantastic manner. Which is a good sign since it would've been hard to top the eye paper cutting bit in Chicago and mysterious gashes on my leg from past adventures.

Once again I did the roadtrip thing to Gally. It's not that I don't like flying, but there's no way I could bring these babies on board the plane with me.

Mmm....Shiner.... I do have a reputation to maintain you know.

Anyway, we headed out around 10am Wednesday morning with me at the wheel. We hit my favorite gas station in the world a little before noon and posted the following tweet:

Buc-ee's! Been on the road for 2 hours now.

As I tweeted shortly after, Buc-ee's is apparently the center of Tweetverse as it took me no time at all to upload either photos or regular tweets from Jocelyn to the web. For those of you that don't have the pleasure of Buc-ee's it's a gas station chain in Texas with a beaver as its mascot. The restrooms are insanely clean, the coffee cheap yet tasty, and they've got Beaver Nuggets!

We stayed long enough to stretch and get some grub before heading back on the road.

Barely made it to Sonora. Coasted in on fumes. Oddly enough same place we stopped last year. Have switched drivers.

I misjudged how much gas I had as my now recalled Chevy Cobalt stops telling you how many miles you have left around the 48 mile countdown. Next thing you know the needle drops like a hammer and you're touching red. And that part of Texas between San Antonio and El Paso is pretty, but desolate in terms of civilization. Those were the hardest 20 miles of my life as I reduced speed to just over 55 miles per hours to nurse the gas to get me to the station. At the same time I was eyeing my On-Star system wondering if I was finally going to have make use of it if we ran out of gas. Luckily we didn't and then realized we stopped at the same station that we did in that area last year. As my reward I got to stop driving and just relax for a tad.

Have officially crossed into the mountain time zone. On course to be out of Texas by 9pm right now.

Thanks to the speed limit for this portion of the drive being 80 miles an hour we were making insane time. To give you an indication of just how big Texas is you cross timezones in the state going westward. We ended up stopping outside of El Pase to gas up the car and switch back to me driving. I blew through El Paso with the latest album from La Roux blasting in the car. Nothing finer than speeding to those tunes. A quick stop at an immigration checkpoint in New Mexico and we just kept making insane time. At one point I was projecting us getting in to Los Angeles sometime between 8 and 9 in the morning. Then those plans went off the rails.

At near stand still outside of Deming, NM. Apparently massive accident on highway.

*sigh* And we'd been making such good time. We got nestled between semi-trucks on all sides and once we saw them power down we did the same. It was pitch black so I didn't get a good look at what was going on until we started moving an hour later but it appears a semi turned over and lost its load of what looked like AC units. Either way we were hanging out in a parking lot and slowly moving as other cars and trucks drove through the grass to go back in the opposite direction. Took the break to check email and whatnot until we started moving again.

Stopped for gas outside of Phoenix at 4:30 local time. Should hit California in a couple of hour.

At some point between Deming and Phoenix we had switched drivers. This meant I did not lose my shit in Tuscon as I had last year because I was in nappy land. Changed back to me when we got this bit of gas in Phoenix and I had intended to push on to Los Angeles myself but my body had other ideas.

Right leg trying to go to sleep. Had to switch of again 40 miles outside of California. Should be in LA in 4 hours.

I was miserable to put it mildly. For some reason my right leg just wanted to go to sleep so it started to go in to that pins and needles state. I couldn't get comfortable and I was scared I'd lose feel for the car if I continued on much longer. We made our way into California and survived another immigration checkpoint.

Stopped for a bit and discovered a General Patton museum. Sadly not open this early in the morning. Bastards.

It's an out of the way place, just tucked near a gas station and trailer park. Tried to take photos but the rising sun made it kind of hard to tell much, but here's a shot of Patton and his dog.

Where's my welcome committee for I am here!

We rolled in to the hotel right around 10am and I felt like the last person to show up to the Real World house with my back over my shoulder and my rockin' new Booze Leprechaun chapeau on my head. Sadly though people did not fall to the ground and weep at the sight of me walking in to the hotel. John though was hanging out in the lobby so I didn't have to track him down to get a key to the room. And this year we lucked out with the hotel room. Check out this view.

The balcony was awesome and when we weren't doing nerdy things we'd chill like villians. Must find way to get same room again.

Grabbed a shower so I could be a respectable member of society. Speaking of which, let's do an afterschool special moment here. We need to have a little chat about hygiene as clearly some of my fellow convention goers have issues. Let me point you to this film regarding keeping yourself clean and therefore someone we want to get near. Not that you have to go that far, but please, let water and soap touch your body at least once a day if not more if you're a sweaty bastard. Gally had over 1500 people this year and you can imagine the mass of humanity in some of the rooms. I work in a funeral home and I'd rather spend all day smelling the contents of a broken cooler than some of you nasty bastards.

The hotel even helps you out for god's sake! They will give you supplies daily if you ask along with clean towels and sheets! I know I'm being mean, but clearly some tough love is needed in this area as there were moments I nearly threw up because the smell was so vile. Just think of your fellow nerd, that's all I'm saying.

Now with that public service announcement out of the way...

All clean and presentable John and I went to Ralph's, a local grocery store, to load up on some basic supplies foodwise to keep from spending any more money than we had to in the hotel restaurant. We were grabbing so much that we needed a cart. There's way only one cart I could lay my hands on though.

Isn't it so cute? John definitely thought so.

We goofed around with the cart, contemplated stealing it, and after picking up some pizzas from Pizza Hut went back to the hotel. Then the real fun started.

Gally has officially begun!

Started getting the beer on ice in the Magical Bucket of Booze and then made our way back to the lobby as more of our friends started showing up.

Handsome Timmy D is in the house! NOW Gally has officially started!

Because it's not a Gally until the Mayor of Gally shows up to welcome all new people. Handsome Timmy D makes all newbies feel welcomed and loved. As we were chillin' in the lobby Paul Cornell showed up and after exchanging pleasantries having not seen him in over six months we started chatting and catching up.

Geeks run as if they're in a marathon when the bar opens.

We were still talking with Paul when we noticed the lobby was emptying because the hotel restaurant was open and everyone needed their booze fix. You'd have thought David Tennant was in there the way some of us ran for our first drop of beer for the day. We continued chatting with Paul until dinner time rolled around when we had to part company since we couldn't dine where he was dining. (Which I make sound way more ominous than it really is for the record.)

For a Thursday night Lobbycon is insane.

It was. Normally Thursday is the slower of the nights as people are still showing up. That was not the case this year as the place was packed. It was cool though as we made new friends and did our best Handsome Timmy D impersonations welcoming the newbies to the con. Also had a moment of fail where I was afraid I'd have to turn my Booze Leprechaun status back in as I had forgotten Sam Adams beer bottles do not have twist caps and I lacked a bottle opener. Handsome Timmy D to the rescue as he bought me one in the hotel gift shop. All became right with the world as later in the evening when Tony Lee switched in to his waistcoat. I went to bed early, sometime shortly after midnight as I hadn't had much sleep during the roadtrip portion and non since getting to the hotel.

The Shadow of the Scourge and The Holy Terror

2010-02-21T18:59:00.001-06:00

Hey kids! Did you miss us? We missed you. Today we're at TBH with our new member, Raul, as we give you this pre-Gallifrey 2010 edition of the Time Team. Say "hello, Raul.

Raul: Hello

Isn't he great, ladies? Naturally he enjoys Doctor Who along with roller derby and rockabilly. And he runs a theater

After a primer on Benny, New Adventures, and Post 1988 Ace we start us The Shadow of the Scourge by Paul Cornell. It opens with the beginning of a seance and Annie asking the aliens to come as she and the others bring peace.

Me: And moist towelettes.

We all get a good laugh as Annie bitches to Brian Hughes about copyright infringement of quack psychic characters.

The Doctor arrives with Ace and Professor Bernice Summerfield in tow and as usual there's a body count whenever he shows up. And "wise old biddies" based on Summerfield's lip reading skils. We get a side trip with Hughes showing up at another convention happening in the hotel before returning back to Doctor Who: CSI. The triple booking at the hotel of cross stitchers, extra terrestrial channelers, and time experimenters is apparently bad for the universe and our gang splits up.

It doesn't take long for Bernice to make herself known to main range Who fans as she infiltrates the extra terrestial channelers and gets them to speak to her dead turtles. Meanwhile Ace is getting herself kicked out of the time experiment room and then getting close with the cross stitchers talking about the dead dude on the elevator. Back to Bernice talking to Mary and then Annie. Annie's in the back trying to keep her guts from spilling.

Me: Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?

Hughes is locking the joint up and setting the time experiment machine while Annie is legitimately making contact with the other world. We get title as the Scourge start showing up. Our first cliffhanger of the day leaves us with the Doctor seemingly handing over Earth to the Scourge.

Tim: For some reason this reminds me City of Death and The Invasion of Time where it's funny and the Doctor is handing stuff over and you've no clue what's really going on.

"That is really...icky!" might be the best line in the any of the audios Big Finish has done up to this point in the timeline of the main range.

Tim: Paul, if you're reading this you are a brilliant, brilliant man.

Which is then followed by the worse line as Bernice does a pun based on Pembroke saying "what" three times. Cross stitchers try to be all heroic and fail miserably. Bernice says "goddess" as the Scourge Demi-Leader makes one strangle himself.

Me: Drink.

The Doctor blames his connecting up with the Scourge on to much cheese before bed time.

Me: Dude, I eat a bunch of cheese before bed but I've never met the Scourge in my dreams.

Ace proves that her acting skills are not the best as the Doctor proves that he didn't fall for her charade of thinking he really gave the Earth to the Scourge. Ace and Bernice go off to make tea for Pembroke and Greg, Cross Stitch Boy and discover that there's only darkness outside the hotel.

Me: So that's where the band went.

Ace rags on Radiohead as the Doctor says the Scourge prey on the depression and sadness of the masses.

Raul: Wow.

Tim: I like Radiohead, but yeah, she's right.

The Doctor describes people falling for the Scourge as a rabbit stops in the headlights of an oncoming car.

Me: Which is a song by Unkle sung by Thom Yorke from Radiohead.

The Doctor gets out tricked by the Scourge as they figure out his games and trump him. He starts transforming as the Scourge Demi-Leader talks about how cool he is for outwitting the Doctor. Part Two ends with the Doctor begging for Benny and Ace to help him as he starts to change.

Tim: Bummer.

Me: So, Raul, now that you're halfway through your first audio what do you think?

Raul: I want to listen to more. I'm really enjoying myself. You can tell they're having fun and doing it for the love of the show. Like any new medium it takes a little getting used to but I'm having fun.

Tim: You missed some really bad ones.

Me: Oh don't worry. There are more bad ones to come.

Tim: I thought I was going to slit my wrists after I think Phantasmagoria.

Me: Actually I think it was The Sirens of Time.

Tim: Oh yeah. I wanted to stop after that one.

But we didn't and after refreshing ourselves with Shiner Bock and Oreo's we continue. The inevitable chess reference comes from Ace as she talks about how the Scourge have outmaneuvered the Doctor. Bernice says "goddess" again.

Me: Drink!

Ace talks Gary in to fucking up her ear drums. The last thing she hears is Bernice uttering another "goddess".

Me: Drink!

Bernice has a plan that's slightly more involved than Ace's of deafening herself and madcap hilarity ensue as they try to communicate with Ace. We go back to the Scourge.

Tim: Are they in the lobby with the music?

The Doctor proves he still has a trick or two up his sleeve as we learn he's shut himself down to keep the Scourge in him from popping out. As he quotes Shakespeare in his mind Bernice and the gang are dragging him across the hotel floor. We get another "goddess" as they run in to a Scourge.

Me: Drink. Jesus, was Paul trying to hit a "goddess" quota?

They find the Scourge Formerly Known as Annie and bring the Annie portion back to the front.

Me: Are they attacking a cappuccino machine?

Annie allows the Doctor to speak long enough for to tell Ace to find the TARDIS and Bernice to come inside the Doctor's head. Bernice uses Annie to get inside his noggin and apparently he's gotten a bit of an interior decorator to provide seating for situations like this. They see his Jungian archetypes who only show up when bad shit is about to happen.

Tim: Or during an anniversary special.

Like other fan girls Bernice drools over the 8th Doctor which she sees waiting over the bridge to come over. The Doctor points out he'll transform into a Scourge if they don't win. Bernice has a go at him, bitching him out for possibly destroying her future. The Doctor reminds her that she's not helping him fight a species that feeds on doubt and fear. Bernice backtracks in between another "goddess".

Raul: One hell of a guilt trip.

Me: Drink.

Annie can't sense the Doctor's heartbeat.

Me: (Don Johnson) Heartbeat! I can hear your heartbeat!

Annie Scourge comes back and she makes Gary strangle himself as I reach for another Oreo. Ace and Pembroke finally reach the TARDIS where they encounter another Scourge who asks them to kneel.

Me: Before Zod!

Bernice's attempt to make the Doctor all warm and fuzzy fails as the third part ends with him seemingly succumbing to the Scourge in his mind. Tim and I do our best Bill Paxton impersonations as the Doctor proclaims over and over that the game is over. Ace and Pembroke fight two other Scourge and Ace bitches that Pembroke doesn't need to pull her head to see the second Scourge.

Me: Maybe he's did it because he's tired of your yelling and your shit acting.

Tim: Ouch.

Then my point is proven as Ace doesn't another bit of shit acting to get close enough to stab a Scourge. Benny wakes up in a hotel room, alone, and runs off to help the Doctor uttering another "goddess".

Me: Drink.

Ace tries to keep Pembroke from killing her by telling him she's seen loads of people die who didn't deserve it.

Me: Yet you're still here.

Tim: That describes fifty percent of the people who show up on the show. More if you take series finales into consideration. how many continents get shifted at the end of The Parting of the Ways?

The Doctor takes over Pembroke's mind and tells Ace where the key to the TARDIS is. He apparently set the nanites to focus on the control room and Ace realizes the Doctor thought they wouldn't make it through without harm.

Me: Um...that's pretty much how things went during your time in The New Adventures. Especially ones written by Kate Orman.

The Doctor makes everyone feel the Scourge and they kinda feel emo.

Bernice: Goddess

Me: Drink.

Ace and Bernice share a tender moment as Bernice stays to look after the Doctor.

Tim: (as Ace) I love you.

Me: Can I say that acting against Lisa Bowerman only accentuates that Sophie's not the best of actresses?

Tim: You could, but I've really enjoyed some of the comedy bits.

Me: Yeah, those have been good, but look at this past moment when Ace says it should be her looking after the Doctor.

Tim: I admit that could've been more powerful.

Bernice tells the Scourge who's playing Doctor Phil to stuff it as she takes another stab at bolstering the Doctor's self esteem. They try to think up a way to counteract the despair the Scourge are stirring up.

Tim: Let's have an orgasm!

She sorts out that it's happiness with people you love, hanging with loved ones and eating tea and scones because they are the best!

Tim: Yes! I'm having a teagasm!

Ace rallies the troops of cross stitchers, new agers, and technogeeks to attack the Scourge as The Doctor and Bernice show up. The Doctor turns fear back on the Scourge as he makes everyone else feel love, peace, and moist towelettes in a bit of reverse psychobabble. Cornell is able to work owls in as he convinces Brian that none of the killing was his fault.

Me: Drink for owls! And I guess that makes Brian like Andrea Yates.

Cue stock Big Finish Huzzah music as the day is saved and everyone returns to normal. The Doctor chastises Bernice for lusting after his 8th version.

Tim: (as Bernice) I just saw Paul McGann and thought he was hot.

Raul: Very Cool.

Tim: Certainly one of the better audios. Funny, couldn't see what it was going.

Raul: A lot of fun.

Me: It was fun to see Bernice in a supporting role as opposed to the lead one she normally plays. Bowerman slots right in to the notoriously close team of McCoy and Aldred and feels as if she's been there the entire time. Further proof that Paul should write for Bernice more often as it's always fun when he creator gets his hands back into the process.

We jump right in to The Holy Terror by Rob Shearman after laughing at the retard who thinks The Wolfman ripped off Twilight.

Tim: I hear that music and still expect Tom Baker to show up.

We learn how easy it is to keep yourself from being burned at the stake as Tacitus easily recants his heresy in following the wrong living god.

Tim: That's so Monty Python! I think I'm going to like this more than Jubilee which is saying a lot.

Macap hilarity continues as the old Queen is taken off to be killed in a manner determined by the new Queen who had been polishing the old Queen's toenails. Meanwhile Frobisher is trying to eat some gumblejack when the Sixth Doctor barges into his bath.

Tim: Don't get between Colin Baker and his gumblejack.

Frobisher has been messing with the TARDIS controls to make fake gumblejack.

Raul: What happens when I touch this button?

Apparently hunchbacks are meant to be evil as the Old Queen bitches at her hunchback son, Childeric, who she thinks isn't evil enough as he sucks up to her saying she's his evil idol.

Raul: With that music behind him it's like he's about to break into song.

The new living god is a bit of wuss as he's not producing any thoughts worthy of chronicling. Childeric shows back up and talks to High Priest Clovis.

Tim: Is that Paul Darrow?

Me: Nope.

Tim: He has that effeminate "oh I'm so evil" voice like Darrow.

Pepin gets coronated and fails miserably as a living god much to the consternation of his wife and his subjects. Just as Pepin is about to be put to death the TARDIS shows up on the scene providing the miracle in the form of Frobisher, ruining the plans of Childeric. Frobisher denies being a god.

All: When they ask you if you're a god you say yes!

Despite his best efforts to get killed Pepin survives as his subjects rejoice while his wife, Livilla, continues to bitch at him. Childric continues to plot against Pepin as Tacitus writes the Bible. Part one ends with an attempt on Pepin's life that oddly enough doesn't come from his wife. I take a picture of my super sweet new Booze Leprechaun chapeau made by Alison as Pepin survives the ritual assassination attempt and forgives his would be ritual assassin much to the consternation of Frobisher. Pepin still doesn't feel like a god.

Me: Maybe he feels like a woman.

Frobisher drools over Pepin's wife as she comes to bitch at him some more. Pepin and Frobisher go to the Blue Temple as The Doctor messes up Tacitus' room looking for an earlier bible. The passage from Pepin the Third's bath reads a bit like the beginning of a Penthouse story while the locals have transformed the TARDIS into the temple. Pepin tries to convince Frobisher that the TARDIS is indeed a temple and the console was an altar. Clovis shows up to Tacitus' house as Livilla tries to get mother-in-law to say that Childeric is the real heir. The locals are pissed that Pepin the Sixth died. Livilla shows she's a suckass Empress by failing to kick Berangaria's ass until she starts to beat her with a lead pipe.

Frobisher tries to convince Pepin to stop being such a pussy as Pepin wants to again tell his subjects he's not a god. Childeric tells the Doctor why he's doing what he's doing. Clovis admits no one in the church has believed in god in centuries.

Alison: Wow.

Pepin abdicates his throne to Frobsisher as the second part ends.

Me: You know what I just realized? We're halfway through a Colin Baker audio and we've only made one fat joke.

Childeric shows he's gone completely bonkers as he's tried to make a god from birth.

Me: As opposed to being the Freshmaker.

Tim: Mentos: The Reaper of Souls!

The subjects continue to worship Frobisher. He starts to mess with the social framework of the planet as he pardons Pepin and tries to make him the new High Priest.

Tim: It's good to be the king penguin.

Raul: Emperor penguin.

Frobisher manages to rework society within thirty minutes by implementing parliamentary elections and dodging live bullets during ritual assassinations. Childeric gets all pissed off and unleashes his hand made god to retrieve the throne. Apparently he's done a better job than even he expected as the child speaks. The child is super creepy as he transforms Livilla into an infant.

Me: I think we have title!

The Doctor and Tacitus escape the oncoming temper tantrum. Tacitus freaks out as he thinks he's killed the kid numerous times in the past. The Doctor goes back to stop the child and then we get a little intermission of Frobisher fixing his nose to save a sculptor from death. Meanwhile the Child God continues his killing spree before entering Childeric's mind. He tears Childeric apart.

Tim: What horror movie is this music from?

Raul: Sounds like Halloween.

God was apparently created by Tacitus. Or at least he sounds like Tacitus. Part four starts up and Tim has to leave us.

Tim: I guess I'll find out who created God later.

The Doctor pisses on the Child God's delusions of granduer telling him he's not a god but a source of torture. He hopes he's lived up to his father's expectations of killing and wondering if he's pleased his father so far.

Me: Only if your father is Saddam Hussien.

We shift back to the Ultimate Dysfunctional Family as Pepin and Bergania have a heart to heart over how much she hates him. Clovis begs the Doctor to explain why he wants to destroy the Emperor. The Doctor explains Clovis is just a stereotype and a sidekick to the real villian. Child God keeps killing people as he searches for his father and Tacitus is hiding in Frobisher's throne room. Child God shows up just as Pepin and Bergania become a real family and makes it go all pear shaped as he kills Pepin. Bergania finally comes round to the notion of free will before finally getting her wish for the sweet, sweet release of death. Tacitus goes bat shit as he finally breaks from being in prison and believes himself to be the emperor. The Doctor stops history from repeating itself as Tacitus wants to kill his son again. Instead Tacitus gets the child to kill him.

Raul: That was cool.

Me: Definitely not a warm and fuzzy ending. Probably the most depressing in the Big Finish line up to the point. It stands out more when put back to back with The Shadow of the Scourge and it's almost candy cane sweet ending.

Don't Give Up On Us

2010-02-13T12:22:00.002-06:00

Yes. I know. As of late we've only popped our heads out of the ground to discuss my drinking (mis)adventures at conventions and the occassional Companion Chronicle offering. But that's about to change. (But don't worry, I'll be at Gally this year engaging in more drunken mischief if you want to say 'hi'.)

The Audio Time Team shall return in full form next Sunday as we'll lavish our unique form of love, snark, and booze on The Shadow of the Scourge and The Holy Terror.

Join Tim and I next Sunday as we welcome new member Raul to the club.
----------------
Listening to: Fall Out Boy - Sugar, We're Goin Down
via FoxyTunes

Companion Chronicles - The Drowned World

2009-08-30T13:56:00.002-05:00

The end of the world is seriously nigh, and available for purchase, as I give you not one but two Audio Time Team sessions this weekend.

And watch as there be spoilers ahead.

It would only seem natural that if I did Home Truths yesterday I should do The Drowned World today. A direct sequel to Home Truths, The Drowned World brings the entire creative team responsible for one of Big Finish's most popular titles from last year back together for another go around. We pick up a time after the ending of Home Truths where Robert returns to the house and Sara Kingdom, giving us an info dump of the previous audio. Robert has returned to hear another story from Sara that will help him convince his superiors not to destroy her. Once again we're teased with stories involving a boy dying in Sara's arms and a man stuck in a clock but this time around we get a story involving her adventures on an asteroid in the Red-O Belt.

The TARDIS materializes in an odd angle in a lab area and it takes no time at all for Sara, Steven, and the First Doctor to be separated from the TARDIS as it falls into water. Having no where to go up they continue to climb, opening one hatch after another. The second set of doors open up, freeing a bunch of miners and the stock Big Finish "much rejoicing noise" who weren't expecting Red-O Base to send a rescue party in time.

Sara remembers that some of the miners were convinced they'd been attacked as opposed to being struck by an act of nature. The Doctor opts to work on the life support system with a warning about the water while Sara, Steven, and Miners Hutchinson, Cowell and Keefe go to retrieve the TARDIS. It doesn't take long for the body count to start as Miner Keefe ends up playing the role of red shirt ensign in manly screaming fashion, making the mistake of not heeding the Doctor's advice to not touch the water. Think of The Abyss gone horribly wrong.

At the risk of sounding blasphemous, the real star this time is Niall MacGregor as Robert. The first time around MacGregor's Robert was a placeholder character, serving to give the listener something else to listen to than just Jean Marsh along with serving as the device that gets Sara to tell her story. This go around he's a much more integral part of the story. Simon Guerrier fleshes out his character and turns Robert into someone we actually can care about just as much as we care about what happens to Sara. Robert also serves as another narrator, at times helping to tell Sara's story. This is not to say Jean Marsh was horribly, far from it. Just as before Jean took what she was given and ran with it, providing another stellar performance.

Guerrier once again writes a gripping outer story that helps frame the inner story that Sara's telling. Ultimately, just as you find yourself caring about Robert you find youself just as engrossed in what one would think is the inconsequential outer story of what's happening to Robert's world. As before Lisa Bowerman does not disappoint. I know I sound lke a broken record, but it bears repeating that she may be the one of the best directors Big Finish has on the payroll at the moment. Maybe, it's her acting background, but she's able to bring out performances that aren't one note, something that might be easy to fall in when you're working with only two actors. There's definite shifts between the inner story and the outer story that you'd be able to tell without the aid of the sound design and music.

Even before listening to the behind the scenes chat with the creative team it's very clear that the foundation is being laid for the story of Sara and Robert to be a trilogy. And while I could eventually see that coming, it does not disappoint me. After two audios I care enough about them to want to hear a third story. One can only hope that Big Finish will bring this group together for a third time.

Companion Chronicles - Home Truths

2009-08-29T16:46:00.001-05:00

Looky looky, it's not an Archway cookie but another Audio Time Team installment.

Hell has turned quite frosty. Our schedules have not meshed and as you'll notice quite quickly still haven't meshed. But I felt like getting something out so I've opted for some Companion Chronicles. If the concept of one person narrating a whole story is good enough for Big Finish, then little ole' me going solo is good enough for me.

For my return to the world of solo ATT goodness I've opted for Home Truths by Simon Guerrier and starring Jean Marsh as Sara Kingdom. For you New Who kids Sara Kingdom traveled with the First Doctor for one story before she met her untimely demise. Naturally one might ask how the hell do you do a Companion Chronicle with a character that was only around for one story and ended up as dead as Michael Jackson. At least that's what I was thinking, without the Michael Jackson bit, when it was first announced that they were doing a story with Jean Marsh as Sara Kingdom.

To answer this question the audio opens up on a dark stormy night with a man begging to be let in to escape the weather. Quickly we learn the house is inhabited by an old woman who used to run a guesthouse. The man, asks her to tell a story about a house.

The woman turns out to be Sara Kingdom.

For those not familiar with Sara we get a quick info dump of the background of how Sara ends up with the Doctor and Steven. This works well, not only for new fans but old ones as it helps to flesh out Sara's character. It helps give reason as to why we'd get a Companion Chronicle with a companion who people debate as to whether or not she's a true companion. After this info dump and a taste of other adventures she'd had with the Doctor and Steven we get to the story that not only the man, but we want. The story about the house. (Between this and "Every Day" by Stephen Fewell it seems the First Doctor is attracted to fucked up houses.)

The audio flips back and forth from the main story of Sara meeting with the Magistrate, Robert, and the one she's telling. It's a nice way to break up the action, without feeling forced. It's easy to imagine the main scene of them talking and then the flashbacks associated with Sara's story. These switches along with creating the general atmosphere are capably handled by Richard Fox and Lauren Yason handling sound design and the music. It can tricky doing a mystery/horror piece on audio since you're lacking the visual component to foster fear and terror. This is one of those audios that benefits greatly from listening to it with a good pair of headphones. You're able to catch the little bits thrown in to help craft the overall audio along with the script and acting.

I've never been a fan of the First Doctor. The stories were normally too long and at times he was too crabby for my liking. I won't even get into my issue with his later stories where he'd just be absent for multiple episodes leaving us with just some crap companions. His stories during a monthly Nitro-9 meeting normally servies as nap and/or food time. Much as he worked his magic in the Bernice Summerfield range to get fans to re-examine the character of Jason Kane, Guerrier does an equally admirable job of rehabbing the First Doctor, for me at least. The story is tight and crisp and the characterisation of Hartnell's Doctor is detailed enough to allow Marsh impersonate him to a "t".

Hinging the success or failure of any story on one person is always a gamble. In the wrong hands, these Chronicles can be painful to work your way through. Obviously, in the hands of Jean Marsh this is not the case. Though it's been over forty years since Jean played Sara she picks up where she left off. Jean takes the script and runs with it, making the part and story her own.

Rounding out the perfect creative group to bring this story to life is Lisa Bowerman as the director. She has yet to fail as a director and this continues the trend for her. Lisa may be one of the best directors Big Finish has employed as of late and it's a pleasure to see them using her as much as they can.

Overall, Home Truths is a quite a clever concept allowing the fans to re-experience a character from beyond the grave. There's something to be said for classic storytelling over the usual reliance on explosions and non-stop action to propel a story, especially in the audio format. And doubly so when you relying mainly on one person to keep the story moving and your audience engaged.

Keep your eyes posted here as I want to get things moving around these parts again. Possibly check back tomorrow even...

A Momentary Interruption

2009-07-12T16:34:00.001-05:00

We break into this regularly scheduled blog about Big Finish audios to point out the massive levels of fail being experienced by the writers on Torchwood: Children of Earth at the hands of some seriously sad fans.

http://jamesmoran.blogspot.com/2009/07/stepping-back.html

To quote the great William Shatner from Saturday Night Live "Get a life!"

Hell Has Frozen Over...

2009-06-29T19:29:00.002-05:00

...or I ended up in an alternate universe. Either way, the long awaited Bernice Summerfield: The Inside Story is being released.

http://www.bigfinish.com/news/Bernice-Summerfield--The-Inside-Story

Run, don't walk to your computers and your wallets to pre-order this tome the likes of which we'll probably never see again. And lookey at the bottom of the press release, you lucky people who pre-order will get your copies signed.

Check this space later this week for a possible update on the next Time Team installment.

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Much Belated Pimping

2009-05-25T17:38:00.001-05:00

I know, I know. I've been a bad bad girl. (Not that kind you freaks)

Not sure when we'll get together for another Time Team. I don't think we'll get one in for May but you'll definitely see us in June. But until then, enjoy this pimping I've been slacking on.

First up: New Animated Who on it's way sometime in the fall ala' The Infinite Quest. The reason for Time Team pimpage you ask? Besides starring Tennant this new Who will star Time Team favorite Lisa Bowerman. It's not Benny but we'll take what we can get.

Next: Hurricane Who is developing quite the nice guest list for a first time con with latest additions of Gareth David Lloyd, Tony Lee, and India Fisher.

Later on in the convention Winter season is Chicago TARDIS which is finally making it look like their 10th anniversary will be one to remember. McGann will be joined by his first companion, Daphne Ashbrook, along with possible his most beloved by fans, India Fisher. Can we hope for all his women with additions of Lisa Bowerman and Sheridan Smith? (I got the backs of the fanboys and their dreams. Someone should have theirs come true.)

And as always, early next year is the uber party known as Gallifrey. Peter Davison is the only guest announced so far, but we all know it'll be a party to remember.

The Apocalpyse Element and The Fires of Vulcan

2009-04-19T19:51:00.002-05:00

Happy belated velociraptor awareness day!

No new beer today. Just some Shiner Bock because I didn't make it to the store in time to buy Mighty Arrow from the folks that make Fat Tire. After a meal of homemade turkey wraps we start up The Apocalpyse Element.

It opens with two glorified air traffic controllers talking. Monitor wants to be called Trinkett when it's just her and some other bloke.

Me: They call me MR. Tibbs!

We learn that there's a conference about to begin and then we hear the dulcet tones of the Doctor's TARDIS.

Tim: Well, everyone's going to die. The Doctor has arrived.

The Doctor has apparently stumbled in the wrong place at the wrong time for the Timelords liking as they come across a member of the Celestial Intervention Agency. It doesn't take long for the Doctor and Evelyn to separate. The Doctor advises that something is up and that they need to be subtle.

Me: Like that's going to happen with a coat like that.

We get backstory as the Timelord President explains that Romana's been missing for twenty years when a planet she was visiting, Etra Prime, (oh clever, clever prime...) disappeared. The Timelords are attending the conference in hopes of discovering which race had the ability to make a whole planet disappaer.

Evelyn is having way too much fun with a bracelet and then all the sensors start going crazy. It seems that the planet that disappeared with Romana on it has reappeared.

Me: Is that like Unicron?

Ensac gets hypnotized.

Tim: You mean nutsack?

Insert short sequence of Dalek's screaming at one another.

Me: We have Daleks!

Monitor Trinkett thinks the planet, Etra Prime, might have reappeared.

Angelie: Optimus Prime?

Evelyn is skulking about and trying to make sure no one notices her.

Me: I'm not liking Evelyn in this compared to her previous appearances. She's almost too snarky and glib.

Ensac tries to complete his mission but is stopped by Trinkett and the Doctor.

Tim: You mean Ex-lax?

Daleks show up and start blowing shit up, including Evelyn. Chancellery guards start blowing up Daleks and rescue Evelyn.

Tim: I can deal with Evelyn being a little more terrified by the Daleks since this is the first time she's met them. I don't really buy her being crushed by debris or in real danger. It's easy to go over the top in both cases but she almost underplays it.

The Daleks steal some technology that the Gallifreyans wanted to steal themselves. Meanwhile Trinkett and the Doctor are visiting the gravity wells until things go all Alien and they get attacked by Dalek mutant things.

Tim: Was it just me or was that the longest first episode ever? It's horrifying but funny trying to imagine those things just floating around and attacking people.

Insert soliloquay by Romana II about being a prisoner of the Daleks for twenty years.

Me: Just like your marriage to Tom.

Tim: Ouch!

Romana continues on about remembering when her body was young and full.

Me: Just like your marriage to Tom.

Tim: Ouch!

The slave robot finally names himself, Vrint

Tim: It's better than Nutsack.

We hear that the leader Dalek is black and thus begins the slew of Shaft jokes. It begins to gloat about how they're responsible for making Etra Prime disappear and has replaced the leadership with Dalek clones.

The Doctor and Evelyn get reunited and Evelyn wonders what that slime is on the Doctor.

Angelie: It's pizza grease.

The Black Dalek has to announce his color and explain to the slaves on Etra Prime what's going on.

Angelie: Evil knows no color. I hear Black Dalek and I just think "Yo, Yo!" and record scratching. They're the lost rappers.

The Doctor decides to go back through the Dalek mutants alone to shut down some shields. He asks for a new suit.

Me: (as The Doctor) I got jizz on this one.

Angelie: It's pizza grease.

Tim just chokes.

Evelyn declares something is huge.

Tim: That's what Romana said.

More shit blows up somewhere. The Doctor gets a clean suit and the Daleks talk about activating the apocalpyse element.

Me: We have title!

Evelyn complains about being too big for whatever tube they're traversing to get to the Birthing Bay.

Me: Should've thought about that before you stuffed your frame into the tube.

The Doctor talks about Mexican standoffs and asks the Daleks if they've killed any Mexicans.

Tim: What the hell? Where is that coming from? (as the Dalek) No, but that's a great idea. We'll go down, sit on the beach, and kill some Mexicans. He's right. Why didn't we think of this before.

Me: On a very racist Doctor Who....

Angelie: Are they going to say anything about the Filipinos next?

The Black Dalek does a drive by and attacks Gallifrey via a Trojan horse. Yet more shit gets blown up. Romana gets the TARDIS through the barrier with some mental jiggery pokery. Eveyln and Romana vow not to let the Doctor face the Daleks alone.

Me: It's like Eveyln is trying to be like Ace in "Battlefield" in terms of asserting her place as the Doctor's new companion to an old one. And it doesn't work so well in this case. Evelyn really serves no purpose in this audio except for the odd one liner and means for the Doctor to explain what's going on.

More shit blows up. More people die. More exposition spouted. More moments of Evelyn annoying the hell out of us.

Me: (as Maggie Stables) Bland. I think I'll be bland in this entire audio. Especially compared to Colin's bit of Shatnerian acting towards the end.

The President says that if the other daleks self destruct he'll let the Black Dalek send an unarmed scientific bunch of daleks to help figure out why shit could blow up that people don't want blown up.

Me: Unarmed daleks?

Angelie: Is there such a thing?

Me: Um...no. (more stuff with Evelyn) Why don't they just kill her and pluck her eye out?

Evelyn does a shitty Dalek impersonation.

Me: Kill her!

The Black Dalek orders a hit on the President and he dies.

Tim: (dripping sarcasm) Didn't see that one coming at all.

More stuff happens but to be honest none of us could be cared to follow in rapt attention. The end comes mercifully.

Me: Well, that was crap. This audio sorely needed a drinking game.

Tim: It was a great idea in theory but not executed really well.

One trip for ice cream later we turn to the first time the Doctor goes to Pompeii, this time with Mel, in The Fires of Vulcan. We open with a crap Italian accented professor talking about a discovery at Pompeii that's put his dig on hold. The discovery is apparently a British police telephone box that's being possessed by UNIT.

The Doctor and Mel show up in Pompeii the day before the volcano is to explode. They manage to evade the questions of a slave who sees the TARDIS materialize and make their way to downtown Pompeii. Mel asks the Doctor if he notices a young man standing off in the distance.

Tim: It's David Tennant!

After wandering around a tad the Doctor begins to offer Mel up for wagers with Stephen Wickham channeling a cross between Brian Blessed and Colin Baker. Mel doesn't care that her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard as she runs from a bloke eyeing her and ends up in a whore house.

Tim: That would never happen to Evelyn.

Volcano day lives up to its name as Vesuvius starts rumbling, allowing the Doctor to escape an ass whupping.

Tim: I was expecting that to happen in Episode Four.

Things go all pear shaped as the Doctor and Mel discover the TARDIS has been buried under a pile of rubble. The Doctor begins to natter on about Time being against them in his usual New Adventures style. Mel gets him to admit that the TARDIS is found in 1980, meaning he and Mel won't see it again. Mel can't quite grasp what's happening.

Me: He's saying you're fucked.

Tim: It couldn't have happened to a better companion.

The locals talk about the messengers from Isis. The Doctor goes back to the bar and gets some wine. Mel asks if it's a good idea to be drinking.

Me: You're gonna die at Pompeii. I can't think of a better day to drink.

Mel has issues with accepting the defeatist attitude of the Doctor.

Me: You're kind of screwed. You pretty much have to lay down and take it without any lube. Mel's got balls man. I've always liked this version of her compared to the TV version.

The bloke that's been stalking Mel makes himself known as the local councilman. He offers to give her a tour inside the temple.

Me: And show you some etchings...

The Doctor finally decides to try and change history in terms of retrieving the TARDIS. The music swells as he tries to get Mel to leave.

Me: Sail away, sail away, sail away.

Tim: I was thinking Orinoko Flow as well. (Mel gets carted away at the end of Episode Two) Wow, she had more lines in that one episode than during her entire run on the show. It's nice to hear her talk about things not centered around carrot juice or exercise.

The Doctor uses the Jedi mind trick to get the keys to Mel's cell. As Mel's would be stalker falls asleep the Doctor tells him he'll take good care of the prisoner.

Me: Of love.

Mel escapes and then gets recaptured. Meanwhile the Doctor gets drugged by the Brian Blessed/Colin Baker hybrid.

Towards the end of Episode Three Vesuvius starts to erupt. Mel tries to get her stalker to admit there's something brewing.

Tim: See, over there a dark haired man in a suit with a woman are loading people into the TARDIS. What the hell?

The Doctor is begging for his life in his best "Survival" voice.

Me: If we fight like animals we die like animals!

Mel goes off in search of the TARDIS only to realize she doesn't have a key.

Tim: She wasn't cool enough. She's not Sarah Jane. Or Rose after three episodes.

Me: And Martha. Didn't he give Donna one too?

Tim: Yeah, I think all the new companions get one.

Angelie: He's a whore now.

Me: A Player.

The Doctor explains to the inn keeper that if they can get into safety and survive the next 12 hours they've got a chance to escape Pompeii. Mel continues to be all badass and makes a run for the TARDIS. They reunite as they work their way to the tombs where the TARDIS was hidden. Then we get an awesome resolution to the original problem of why/how the TARDIS was discovered in 1980.

Tim: Nice. The pretty much redeem Bonnie's character in this one audio.

Me: Sweet. Well, as much as the last one sucked, this one didn't. Following up on their work in rehabbing Colin's Doctor they do similar work for Bonnie Langford's Mel. This story manages to be a nice mix of action and drama with a twist in terms of the Doctor being the one that for a time is willing to succumb to Time and Fate.

Another Benny Double Feature: The Poison Seas and Death and the Daleks

2009-03-08T22:01:00.003-05:00

For the first time since before Thanksgiving we're all able to get together. Due to time constraints today's session turns into another Benny double feature. I promise, next month we'll get back to main Who line.

Beer is courtesy of the Shiner Family Reunion pack. One beer each from their main releases then one Kosmo's Reserve which Shiner hasn't brewed in nearly ten years. Named for their founder, Kosmo's Reserve is a hoppy affair that provides different tastes as it finishes. I'm enjoying it way more than the Commerator.

After a meal of sweet and sour pork with wonton soup for me we start up The Poison Seas.

Tim: I'm picturing Sea Devils. The music seems to indicate Sea devils.

Angelie: Too much reverb. I can't understand what they're saying. I've had two cups of coffee. My goal is not to fall asleep.

Insert the first of many The Little Mermaid jokes as we listen to a Sea Devil soliluquay. Then we get to hear Benny trying to evade Carvers' questions and getting yelled at for not staying in her quarters.

Me: Yeah, Benny is really good at staying put and listening to orders.

Benny calls and bitches out Brax couched around a tender moment of asking him how Jason is doing. Then we go back to talking Sea Devils. The sound design is great, but of course you have to strain to really understand what they are saying due in part to the reverb. This ultimately is one that's probably best served listening by yourself with a pair of really good head phones. I find myself alternating between Little Mermaid songs and PJ Harvey.

Benny gets dropped off and we listen to Carver and her assistant wonder if Benny's going to be trouble. Carver notes that Benny will just be an innocent victim.

Me: Um yeah...Benny is not innocent and "trouble" really should be her middle name.

Benny starts talking with a Sea Devil.

Tim: Ok. I really can't hear anything at this point. There's too much going on in the background.

Angelie: I heard a corridor.

Tim: I don't know what this chamber is or where it's supposed to be, but whenever they're in it I can't hear a damn thing. (Sea Devil dialogue)

Carver kills a sea devil and then we go back to more hard to hear sea devil dialogue. Other stuff happens and Benny hooks up with her friend to investigate the killing of the sea devil. She explains to the lead sea devil that she's been sent to really determine who within the group is helping a terrorist group that Carver is leading. In another batch of hard to follow sea devil dialogue there's something in the water, and it's not just the sharks.

They go back to see the Principal and Benny utters a 'goddess'.

Me: Drink.

Benny gets found out by Carver and we end up back with Principal talking to Nedda. Nedda at one point says "how can this be?"

Me and Tim: (ala' Dune) For he is the Qwissatz Hadderach!

Principal reveals that he is the poison sea and he starts to strangle sea devils ala' Darth Vader. Carver reaveals the reason for all her barely post teen angst before she leaves Benny to die. She eventually gets rescued by Nedda who catches her up to speed on how Principal's gone all crazy. Meanwhile Principal is giving Carver some of his strangling treatment.

Benny gets all maudlin and starts talking about home and it's significance. She also mentions how some times she's tempted to take the time rings and just run away from it all. I point out that unless she's got mad skills she needs someone to work the other ring.

After a bad set of puns with Principal Benny runs into a not quite dead Carver. The bomb Carver set can be controlled by remote so Benny ups the time of destruction. Principal is getting all orgasmic about getting the planet back before he gets blown up by Carver's bomb.

Benny radios The Collection and something's going on as Brax replies in vague answers and keeps talking about her coming home soon.

I bring out my copy of Life During Wartime to show Tim and Angelie was Benny is coming home to and explain briefly what's going on. Then Death and the Daleks gets put into the player.

We get through the recap and Benny finds her dad is commanding the armies of the Fifth Axis. Benny says "cruk".

Me: Drink.

After evading the Fifth Axis and then evading Jason's enquiries as to the nature of their relationship Benny goes to see Brax. He talks about how his life has been distilled down to torture and interior decorating.

Me: Maybe that could be next year's edition of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. One way to get Ty to shut up.

Benny gets approval to visit Heaven and says goodbye to both Adrian and Peter. Peter cries as Benny talks about leaving.

Tim: (as Benny) It's not like I'm ever here anyway.

She talks about getting Isaac back.

Tim: (as Benny) We're bringing him back from the dark side.

Bev gets rescued and Benny and Jason make it to Heaven. The planet. Last seen in Love and War Benny starts going down memory lane. Angelie is able to guess Jason's dialogue when he tells Benny that he still loves her. Benny and Jason sneak out in the evening to go to the Heavenite arch.

Angelie: I'm sorry, but if I didn't know they were in a tent and I heard that zipper sound...

They get to the arch and Jason notes that it's huge.

Angelie: That's what she (Benny) said.

They stumble upon the Daleks and we get a history of the word "cruk" before Jason goes on a "cruk" tirade.

Me: That's like a chug right since someone other than Benny is saying it?

I tell Tim when this was released and then he tries to figure out which version of the Daleks he should be envisioning.

Bev starts the food riot and then we go back to Benny and Jason being revived by the Daleks.

Tim: That looked cool in my head. That was a really nice sound effect.

Me: You know, they could just grab some kid that plays World of Warcraft all day and probably get a better level of tactical knowledge.

Benny wonders if the Daleks have other military minds hidden behind the doors.

Tim: Cause the Rani already did that.

As usual Benny turns the interrogation around and antagonizes the Daleks. Jason mentions that no one would normally think to do that to the Daleks and they can never go to the zoo together.

Me: I *so* want that line on a t-shirt. Really. If someone put that on a t-shirt I'd be a happy girl.

Benny tells Jason to take his fat suit off.

Tim: (as Benny) I don't want to die without having another go with you.

Benny and Jason make another stab at rescuing Isaac. Jason kills a bunch of Daleks and then remarks at how strange it is for Isaac to have been placed in the storage room.

Me: Not as strange as you blasting Daleks while being naked? Speaking of which, I don't see Captain Jack killing Daleks naked.

Tim: No, thankfully he put his clothes back on before he took out those two What Not To Wear robots.

Me: See, another reason why he's just a poor man's Jason Kane.

Isaac offers to comfort Benny as she feels bad for getting a bunch of Axis officers killed.

Me: No, that didn't sound creepy at all. This just makes me all the more sad that Ian Collier is dead.

Disc one ends with Brax unveiling his TARDIS and Benny, Jason, and Isaac preparing to defend themselves to the death if need be against the Daleks.

Tim: I was able to follow that better than the one with the Sea Devils. I like them and I think it's cool they were in a story, but it was hard to understand some of them.

Isaac would rather fight in a battle than watch Peter.

Me: God, no one wants to spend anytime with the kid.

Angelie: Poor kid.

The Killoran Liberation Army arrives and Jason leads the revolutionary army through the door to the armory.

Tim: Is that a music cue lifted straight from Aliens?

Jason assumes that Adrian means him when Adrian says the best man won in the battle for Benny's heart.

Tim: (laughing) What a dumb ass.

The battle continues and eventually the Collection gang get all together inside Brax's TARDIS. Insert awkward moment number 378 as Isaac tries to get Benny and Jason to return home with him. Isaac is still really under control of the Daleks so things go all pear shaped as the Daleks try to capture Brax's TARDIS. They're able to turn things around and eventually get the Axis officers to kill off most of the Daleks. Jason and Benny go after the last one while Brax comes up with a plan to take care of the Dalek fleet.

In typical Benny/Jason fashion they decide the perfect time to rekindle their relationship is in the middle of looking for the last Dalek. Their makeout session is interrupted by the Dalek who Jason eventually gets around to killing.

Using Isaac to give out new orders Brax and Benny do what The Doctor couldn't do in Genesis of the Daleks and destroy the Fifth Axis.

Tim: I didn't fall asleep once.

Angelie: I didn't either. It was just hard to understand what they were saying in the first one we listened to.

Tim: It was good to hear the Daleks. And I liked hearing Brax finally acting like a Time Lord.

Me: This has always been one of my favorites and is in frequent rotation along with The Crystal of Cantus and Just War. On the whole the series is finally finding its footing and properly incorporating all the various characters. I understand from an economic side why they probably don't do more double disc Benny's, but it's fun to get an expansive story that features everyone on the Collection. It's an excellent core group of actors who should be allowed to interact with each other more often.

Check back next month when we'll do The Apocalypse Element and The Fires of Vulcan. Also keep an eye out as I might start doing the Companion Chronicles as a solo effort.

Gallifrey 2009 - Day Four

2009-02-26T20:22:00.004-06:00

The clock on the bed reads 8am when I awake. This means I've had less than three hours of sleep from when I stumbled back to the room. This means I'm going on my fourth day on something around nine to ten hours of sleep. This means I of course feel like death on a triscuit.

Or maybe more appropriately in some truncated version of Withnail and I with any number of Squeeze songs about drinking for the soundtrack. I feel like a pig shat in my head even though I have not gone on holiday by mistake. I decide that I might as well ride the drunk/comfortably mellow state of affairs until Monday so I start the day by finishing off the apricot ale I had earlier in the morning. All I can do is sit in the chair and just kind of stare into the distance and try to comprehend my current state.

Since I can't go back to sleep and I've got nothing I want to see until Colin and Nicola go on stage at noon I wander back to the dealer's room. I figure I can go back and speak with Cindy Pickett. She's not there, but Greg Berger is. He notes that I'm now wearing my Houston Aeros hoodie, finally indicating where I'm from. In talking I mention I'm not a native Texan and he immediately states that he could tell from my accent and mannerisms. I probably spent about twenty minutes talking to him. Very nice conversation and a great guy.

Noon rolls around and I haul myself down to the ballroom for Colin and Nicola. My friend Bob sees me and asks if I've got a hangover on top of the hangover. I state that I'm still in the boozed up portion and that he better be ready to drive tomorrow morning because I already know I won't be able to. Colin and Nicola were a joy to watch together. It's always fun to see past Doctors with their companions. It was easy to see the great affection they have for one another. Colin explained his reasoning for biting Nicola on the ass during the first day of rehearsal. In my opinion, the same douchebag who asked Colin about his weight being a reason his Doctor was eating on screen all the time asked the same question. But this time he lacked the tact and just outright called Colin fat. This lead to Colin teeing off on him asking if anyone had ever told the dude he has no tact. Colin explained that he'd rather be healthy and enjoy life instead of some emaciated stick figure. We all applauded and then Colin would use any opportunity to just take another whack at the douchebag.

I don't know how and maybe it was something as simple as someone checking Facebook, but it was apparently getting around that it was my birthday. Which it was. Guests and friends alike were coming up to me going "I hear it's your birthday" or "Is it your birthday?" or just plain old "Happy Birthday". Dan did offer to get a group together to go to the strip club down the block as part of a birthday celebration. While I'm down with the strip club scene this one looked like the type of club that would have a pregnant one armed stripper as the main attraction. And as appealing as that sounds I realized photos would be taken and I'd hate to have to explain to work why there's a shot of me getting a lap dance from a pregnant one armed stripper while my friends pay to make it rain on us.

It had come to my attention the previous night that among the items donated to the charity auction where five Bernice Summerfield CD's donated by David Darlington. All were signed, I just didn't know by whom. If I had criticism about the auction it would be that I wished a complete and up to date list had been available to see beforehand. The only thing that I could find was one sheet posted by the door to the room that housed all the items and it was clearly not up to date. As such I had missed the first part of the auction watching Colin and Nicola which lead me to miss three out of the five cd's. Vanessa had me scared for awhile as she mentioned one of them was a copy of "The End of The World". Later I found out it was only signed by Simon and I already had his signature of the copy I owned. If David Darlington had signed it I would have had to find the person who got it and beat them down for it. The two cd's left were copies of "The Final Amendment" signed by Simon, David, and Joe Lidster and "The Diet of Worms" signed by David. I already had a copy of "The Final Amendment" signed by a whole host of people, but not David so I resolved to get that along with "The Diet of Worms".

When I show up at an auction I come to play. I know what I want and I have a set price in my head. None of this flim flam bullshit of upping the bid by a dollar. I had to wait a bit for them to get to the Benny cd and the first of the two was "The Final Amendment". They barely got the description out when I opened with five dollars for my bid. Someone bid six and I immediately went to ten. She countered with fifteen and I went straight for twenty. Twenty going once. Twenty going twice. Sold twenty dollars.

I had to wait longer for the other cd to go up and then I felt like I was in Groundhog Day. The bidding literally went the same way, note for note. I opened with five, the same person countered with six. I went straight for ten, she went fifteen and I bid twenty. Twenty going once. Twenty going twice. Sold twenty dollars. The only difference is that you could hear in her voice that she was pissed. If you read this blog and you're the person I beat down for those two cd's, what can I say? Mama was going home with those, that's what I'm saying. And I'd have gone after the other three if they had still been around. But really, you know I paid twenty on the first one. You might as well have cut to the chase and bid twenty.

With my new cd's in hand I went back to the dealer's room where I ran into the Big Finish crew. Simon reminded me that Gary had directed "The Final Amendment" and Gary was nice enough to sign the cd for me.

Speaking of Big Finish it was back into the ballroom at 4pm to see their final panel. Again, nothing new for the most part. The only two new items would be that the Bernice Summerfield Inside Story book is closer to getting released. There's only one person to get permission from and then Simon can go ahead and write a chapter about season number nine. It was explained that since Big Finish has the rights to Doctor Who and a chunk of the Benny book is what's happening to the show in the years that it's off the air they couldn't have their cake and eat it too by releasing something that hadn't gone through the proper clearance channels. The other news was that Sapphire and Steel is in a bit of trouble. Jason has to put pen to paper in regards to renegotiating the license and whether they can make it work financially. Sapphire and Steel may be the first audio line to become a casualty of illegal downloading. They want to make more though so it might be revamped into a Companion Chronicles style line of audios for future seasons. So you kids out there who want Sapphire and Steel and want it in full audio cast style might want to either buy copies of the existing catalog or buy more if you've already done so.

After the Big Finish panel the convention proper portion was pretty much done for me. Just as Opening Ceremonies do nothing for me neither do Closing Ceremonies. Instead I went back to Carl's Jr with John for dinner. This turned into unintended comedy as John was so out of it he didn't realize he ordered two combo meals and I got the shock of my life when I realized their idea of a western bacon cheeseburger is a cheeseburger with bacon, bbq sauce and two nasty onion rings. Seriously, onion rings. I had to go back and look at the picture on the menu to make sure it was my fuck up for ordering and not theirs in making it. It was also by this time that I learned that when I'm going on four days of drinking nothing but booze I start to stutter. Badly. As in from time to time I was sounding like a definitely tipsy Porky Pig.

The last night in the lobby started after dinner. People joined us as the Closing Ceremonies finished and I asked Bob to get my lasat tasty treat to share with all my British friends. Beaver Nuggets. Beaver nuggets are a tasty confectionary treat made by the good people at Buc-ee's, a gas station chain in Texas with a beaver for its mascot. I wish I had a camera to get the reactions of every time I said "would you like to try some beaver nuggets?" My beaver nuggets were a hit overall and I need to fulfill a promise to send a care package of those and some Booze Leprechaun t-shirts overseas.

Since it was my birthday people bought me beer instead of it being the other way around. Which was nice because it was my birthday and to be honest I was all out of beer and really didn't want to try and buy more so one way or the other the Booze Leprechaun was taking a night off. As it was many birthday rounds were procured and I ended up having a very nice and lengthy conversation with ElyssaDC who knew of me from the Audio Time Team's Liverjournal mirror blog.

Elyssa is another major lover of all things Benny having come by Benny in a roundabout fashion via the New Series. Luckily she was able to explain it to me without the use of graphs and charts because let's face it, I was too damn drunk to have comprehended anything that complicated. It was fun to talk to her and it's clear that her passion for Benny puts mine to shame. I also learned from her that apparently I'm not the only person who likes the character of Jason Kane so this made me feel like I had emerged from the wilderness to find Xanadu. The one that Kublai Khan did decree, not the one inhabited my Olivia Newton-John on roller skates. We talked for awhile and tried to call Lizbee, another LJ'er, because in my drunken state my ego increased to think that while the lobby lacked any guests I'd be good enough for her to talk overseas with.

While talking to Elyssa some of my friends asked if I'd like a piece of chocolate cake from the restaurant. I am not one to turn down free chocolate cake. Eventually I looked up to see Keefe with the cake in hand but not coming anywhere near me. This lead me to suspect that something was afoot and to move my beer glass. Next thing I know my friends are coming en masse, singing Happy Birthday and managed to rope Kai Owen into the festivities. Later on Elyssa saw Frazier and got him to come over and wish me happy birthday as well. Vanessa has us on tape posing as if she was going to take a photo.

Later on it was time for the annual Scrabble game. This year it was myself, Jarrod, Rob Shearman, and Vanessa. I was convinced Rob would totally destroy us since Jarrod and I were admittedly drunk. We managed to hold our own though and not get completely trounced by Rob even though he did win. It became a spectator event again, which I'm down with. I did find though in my state of inebriation I wasn't down with the spectators putting their two cents on what word should be played. But I did learn a new word for drunk from Rob and got a very nice compliment later on in regards to my overall play so I can't complain too much.

The evening then further descended into more drinking and talking. I had had every intention of going to bed after Scrabble but the siren's cry of gin and tonics called to me. That and I just didn't want the night to end. I knew that the next day would mean the end of summer camp and we'd all be going home.

Besides, it had turned into the BEST...BIRTHDAY...EVER! How could I got to sleep? This had topped the one where my dad sent me a stripper who ended up being from Australia and did his routine to Will Smith's "Men in Black" among other tunes. And may I mention that all my other friends chickened out and I got to enjoy the stripper all by myself? I believe I shall.

All good things must come to an end though and I finally dragged my ass to bed sometime after four.

Gallifrey 2009 - Day Three

2009-02-24T21:21:00.001-06:00

I awake to find myself drowning in a pool of my own drool, still laying sideways on the bed fully clothed and the clock reads 7:30am. This of course means I've only had about three hours of sleep and I'm definitely displeased by that state of affairs. What displeases me further is that I can't manage to fall back to asleep so I'm stuck still slightly drunk on three hours of sleep. Joy.

I can't remember what I had for breakfast. I want to say maybe some leftover beer and some chips from the con suite. I could be wrong about the chips.

The convention day proper for me starts with the Big Finish panel. Still much talk about the Key 2 Time series and very limited discussion of the "Lost Season" of Colin Baker's they're doing. As usual with a Big Finish panel the highlight is just watching them all interact with each other. You never know what's going to be said. Fun bit at the end as they played previews of some of the audios coming out this year including McGann's "Company of Friends" and his reunion with Susan.

Then it was time to start using our Golden Tickets as the first autograph session of the day was forming. I wanted to get a couple of other items signed by Paul Cornell, including a couple issues of Captain Britain and the Short Trip Christmas anthology he edited. The Golden Tickets let us roll up on the line after it was starting the form only to get to head of it. John, Cathy, Keefe, and I had fun posing for photos with our Golden Tickets. The chick who's place at the head of the line we usurped didn't look as thrilled as us oddly enough. But we didn't care as we sang the Golden Ticket song from Willy Wonka and queued up according to the number on the ticket. When we got to go in the fun increased as it took a few minutes for the non Golden Ticket holders to be allowed into the room. Much jokes about peasants were made. Yes, we are evil like that. We have the Golden Tickets to prove it.

I think I got lunch. I don't remember.

Next up for me was the Wendy Padbury interview. Wendy was awesome and pure delight to watch. The best part of this was her explaining how she discovered Matt Smith when she was a talent agent a few years ago. She sang his praises and did her best to dispel any fears we have of him being the next Doctor. In the middle I slipped out in hopes of using my second Golden Ticket to get Pia Guerra to sign my copies of "The Forgotten". It took a little longer than I thought it should've, but I finally got confirmation that in fact Pia wasn't going to be able to make it out to the convention. I grumbled a bit and then went back to see the end of Wendy's session.

I was so still drunk that I had trouble telling time. I thought it was 4pm and next up was Colin Baker talking about Big Finish. I was so pleased to see so many people coming in to hear him speak as Big Finish has done a wonderful job rehabbing his Doctor. Imagine my shock/surprise when instead it was Gareth David Lloyd coming on stage. I rechecked my watch, cursed, and then probably pissed a bunch of people off as I stood up to leave.

I think this is when I decided to kill time in the dealer's room. Hidden in the back were Greg Berger and Cindy Pickett. They were having a conversation with someone so I didn't want to interrupt but the guy noticed me and asked who I was. I just mentioned I was an attendee to both which Greg and Cindy said I wasn't "just" an attendee. I took that as a chance to mention to Cindy that I was from Houston, had gone to the University of Houston, and one of my best friend's had gone to Bellaire High in the nineties. A quick lesson: Cindy is a native of Houston whose dad for a long time taught acting at both Bellaire and U of H. Among his students besides Cindy are Brent Spiner, the Quaid brothers, Robert Wuhl and the late Trey Wilson to name a few. Once I assured her I wasn't full of shit she smiled and shook my hand. I backed off and let them continue their conversation with the guy. A few minutes later I hear Cindy yell "Houston". I turn back around and pointed at myself in confusion. She said she wanted to talk and I explained that I didn't want to interrupt the current conversation. She and Greg appreciated that and she implored me to come back later to talk. While I appreciated the gesture I also think it might have partly been because she and Greg were lonely.

With the little hand on the four I made my way back to the main ballroom to see Jason Haigh-Ellery interview Colin about his Big Finish stuff. Awesome interview that was only marred by two things. One, some douchebag who has a weight fetish not so tactfully inquired if jokes about the Doctor eating were put in the scripts because of Colin's weight. Before anyone cries 'hypocrite', I may make the odd Colin Baker fat joke when we do one of his audios but I would never dare to bring it up to his face. Cute little jokes that I live in fear of him mentioning one autograph session is one thing. Making a weight comment right to his face in such a manner that can be construed in no other manner than nasty is another. The second was that I forget how the conversation led to it but Colin had to drop his two cents on waterboarding. If you know me it shouldn't take you long to figure out which way I lean on the subject. The lack of applause tells me that either the majority of the audience feels the same way I do or they just thought it wasn't the appropriate place to make such a comment. Either way I know I could've gone without politics creeping into my Who.

After Colin there really wasn't much going on until the Masquerade later in the evening. My friend Vanessa entered as the Haute Couture Dalek. I wanted to see her, but I also knew I needed to eat and not another meal at Carl's Jr. The Magical Bucket of Booze also needed to be replenished. So I headed back to Ralph's to buy Reese's Peanut Butter cups, another 12 pack of Sam's and a 12 pack of Coors Light per request by Keefe while he, John, and Dan trekked to Carl's Jr. Apparently there was something involving a homeless guy in a diaper possibly obsconding with a cheeseburger they bought for some random guy at the convention who asked them when he heard they were going to forage for food. I managed to run into the same cashier who once again noted I had to be planning for another party.

There was nothing that tickled my fancy in the way of dinner so once I got the latest additions to the bucket chilling I made my way to Denny's. Nothing finer than placing a layer of grease thanks to a Moons Over My Hammy on top of still full belly of beer. Note for future reference: the Denny's by the Marriott has a bar.

By the time I felt slightly human I decided just not to go to the Masquerade. I knew I'd get to see Vanessa's costume later and overall cosplay just ain't my bottle of beer. Instead I settled down on one of the couches in the lobby to start reading "Tiny Deaths". Part of me wanted to try and get a nap but the other knew once I slept I probably wouldn't wake for days. As it was I ended up not getting much reading done as hotel staff was dealing an unruly guest/visitor. I don't know what started it but next thing I know I see a guy sitting among the other set of couches talking to one member of hotel security. I can't hear what the hotel security guy is saying but I can clearly hear the guest/visitor and it's not good. Soon one hotel security member multiplies to about four which then escalates to one cop and then to three with sirens in the distance. They got the guy to leave the hotel without incident but I cannot report what happened once they got him outside.

While I didn't sleep, I did retire to my room for a bit to fiddle about on the computer. I had also decided against going to see the American premiere of Moths. It's not that I don't want to see it, but I knew the place would be jam packed and that I would have had to line up long before the masquerade even started to get a decent seat. Knowing that he'll be back in October at Hurricane Who to perform didn't hurt in the decision making process.

Apparently Moths got started late due to the masquerade running over so I was a bit surprised when I wandered out into the lobby around when I thought Moths was ending to see the place relatively empty. I did spot Tim and Llamastrangler so I hung out with them until the play let out and people started making their way up to the lobby. Then it was time to bring out the Magical Bucket of Booze and its cousin along with my pub sign with 'Park Your TARDIS Here' written on it. I started the evening with 24+ bottles of Sam Adams, 3 Shiner Blacks, 8 Shiner Blondes, and a few Sam Adams Light. By 2am I was completely out of beer. The party was still rocking though and thankfully Handsome Timmy D produced another 12 pack of Apricot Ale. We descended on it like starving dogs to meat and that bad boy was gone in about an hour.

5am rolled around and the party was still in full swing, much to the consternation of the hotel staff who had to keep cleaning up our debris. The Starbucks opened along with Lattitude getting the overpriced breakfast buffett ready. Though things were still going on I made the decision to stumble to bed. At that point in the evening/morning the rest of the hotel occupants would slowly make their way downstairs along with airline pilots checking in. It was kind of hitting that point where things were gonna have to end soon or something ugly would happen and I wanted to hear the story being told, not be part of it. After creating a little bed on the floor using the huge non-fluffy pillows I finally went to sleep/passed out.

Gallifrey 2009 - Day Two

2009-02-22T13:34:00.002-06:00

My apologies in taking so long to get these out. To be honest I stopped drinking early Monday morning but my hangover didn't hit until Wednesday. You can imagine how much fun that made work.

Also, as you'll note in these convention travelogues one of the guys I stay with, John, is a bit of an autograph whore. (His words, not mine) Anyway, it has come to his attention that in the course of things he lost a Tomorrow People cover signed by Jason Haigh-Ellery. We think it happened during Saturday's autograph session. You might remember him as the guy with tons of covers in ziplock bags trying to figure out which ones to get signed. Obviously, if you go through your stuff and find you're now the owner of a Tomorrow People cover signed by Jason made out to John and you're not named John it's a safe bet it's not yours. If you happen to be in possession of this please drop me a line privately and arrangements can be made to get it back to him.

We now return you to your regular convention travelogue.

Breakfast is again the culinary mecca that is Carl's Jr. There was discussion of partaking of the hotel's breakfasat buffett but at $19.50 a pop that thought was quickly nixed. The general consensus was that at those prices the food should be cut up and pre chewed for you. I also thought everything should be made from scratch at the table per your specifications.

After food the task of organizing items for signature began. Friday was deemed autograph day as in theory I could spend all day getting the majority of what I needed signed taken care of. The announcement that Alien Entertainment was going to charge $20 for Colin Baker's autograph helped lighten my autograph load. The initial announcement that Pia hadn't made it for Friday's activities did screw the plan of attack I had worked out the week before for the entire convention.

The first session included Phil Collinson and as such the line started forming well over an hour before it was supposed to start. John and I ended up taking turns holding our spot in line while the other went to check out the dealer's room. By the time we made it though it was clear that the line was not getting much longer. After another quick run through the dealer's room we went back to the autograph session to find the line was still holding steady in size. We asked and were allowed to go back in, greedy bastards that we are. Along with Phil this session included Frazier Hines, Wendy Padbury, and Nicola Bryant and if we had made it through a second time at least I would've gotten everything I wanted signed without messing with Saturday's session. As it was the line had started out rather long and try as they could there was no way they'd get everyone through without running terribly late. As such the line had to be cut but as a special parting gift everyone on the wrong side of the cut got fast track passes for all three sessions on Saturday. Some days it pays to be a greedy bastard.

Once we got our golden tickets we basically queued back up for the second session involving Paul Cornell and Tony Lee among others. I got Paul to sign my copy of "A Life Worth Living" as to date it's the last Benny thing he's written. I gave Tony the first two issues of "The Forgotten" to sign and gushed about it and Pia's artwork to him.

Session number three had the boys from Torchwood and the Big Finish gang. John, Dan, and I had a lovely surprise for Laura Doddington from our time in Chicago but I got separated from Dan and John. This didn't prove to be such a problem since I had no plan to pay for Kai Owen's autograph and I only got Gareth David-Lloyd to sign items for other people. As I was the complete opposite of most people in that line this allowed me plenty of time to talk to Laura and Ciara Jansen as most people completely ignored the Big Finish bunch once they got their Torchwood autographs. Once Dan and John joined up with me we gave Laura the lovely photo we had made for her as a memento of the final night of Chicago TARDIS. Much laughter ensued with Jason and Simon Guerrier leaving their table to see what all the fuss was about. The photo proved to be a big hit with each of us having a copy for Laura to sign and one for her to keep.

I dropped my bag off in the hotel room and then went back down to watch Paul host Just A Minute. This way if nothing else I could say I went to at least one panel a day. Just A Minute is a long running program on BBC radio, the gist of which is that each contestant has a minute to speak non-stop on a given topic. The kicker is that you can't repeat words except for what are considered little word such as "the" and "as" and there can be no pause or hesitation. If any those things happen another contestant can challenge and then give the topic a go in whatever time is left. This year's contentants were Phil Collinson, Toby Hadoke, Wendy Padbury, and Frazier Hines. It was a tough battle between Frazier and Toby with Toby barely pulling out the win. The highlight may have been Phil begininng to regale the crowd with a story involving a bloke named Sven but was cut short through a foul. This made myself and most of the others in the audience sad as we all wanted to hear the full story.

I'm not one for Opening Ceremonies so instead I took my part in the great dinner debate. Since I had no clue on what I wanted to eat, only that I was hungry, Bob #3 and I ended up going to Ralph's. The Magical Bucket of Booze needed to replenished anyway so I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. Beer prices were still a bit much, but not as bad as the liquor store around the corner from the hotel. It didn't take the cashier long to figure out there I was planning for a party as I went through the line with two 12 packs of Sam Adams, a six pack of Shiner Bock, and ginormous sandwich for dinner, and a bag of guacamole chips. The cashier was right when she said the chips I picked were probably the best in the guacamole chip genre. We also learned the hard way that Ralph's is part of the Kroger family of grocery stores so I could've used my Kroger card if I hadn't left it at the hotel.

Friday night was also the night for the numerous Toga/Volcano parties going on so I was treated to way too many people running around in hotel bed sheets and not much else as I worked my way through my ginormous sandwich. My friend Vanessa was part of the winning team for a scavenger hunt. I didn't hit any of the parties but apparently Phil Collinson tended bar at the Volcano party. There was also karaoke and among the highlights was a singing Dalek and Kai Owen belting out some Welsh hits.

Eventually I made my way downstairs to see what was going on and ran into Kathi, Justin, and Etta. Topic of conversation turned from one thing to another and soon we were trying to figure out how one would collect bull semen. A few trips to google later and we learned that it involved a teaser cow and artificial vagina. We also learned that said semen can be frozen, mayonnaise jar not required, though you may want to properly label the jar to ensure no confusion between your frozen bull semen and your frozen alfredo sauce. As always I learn something new and useful at Gallifrey.

The Booze Leprechaun made her second appearance in the lobby later on in the evening. I was initially set up close to the doors by the front desk, but had to move when the kids waiting on the wrestlers to come in started crowding around my area. The last thing I need is for some kid to reach into the bucket thinking they're getting soda and pulling out a Shiner Black. The plethora of kids was a bit annoying but fun to watch their excitement as several wrestlers checked in for the night. A number of us are wrestling fans as well and the kids in wheelchairs were an excellent early warning system as they'd start zooming around when they spotted a wrestlet coming in. The Big Show may have to win the award for most gracious one of the night as he spent probably at least ten minutes talking to the kids and posing for photos when it was clear he'd rather settle in for the night.

The bucket got relocated to the set of tables in front of the Starbucks and currently occupied by Simon Guerrier, James Moran, and Phil Ford. I hadn't wanted to horn in on their conversations with others, but it was the safest place to set up operations and kept Simon from having to walk too far when he needed a refill. It did eventually give me the pleasure of handing a beer to Frazier Hines and hooking up his American website designer, Van, with one after I carded him. Yes, I card if you look young. Again, I dont' want to have to answer the question of "How did the convention go" with "Great! I spent it in jail after being busted for contributing to the deliquency of a minor. They needed to take up a collection to pay my bail".

Moving the bucket also let me meet and make new friends with attendees like Tim and Llamastrangler, which is an awesome name. It quickly came to my attention that Shiner brewery does something right because whether I handed out a Shiner Black, Shiner Blonde, or Shiner Bock the receipient was very pleased, particularly those of the British persuasion. The Shiner Black was especially a hit and the one I was more worried about going over. Yes, next year I will endeavour to bring more than just one 12 pack of each.

The eventual highlight may have been watching a guy completely piss drunk trying to figure out the escalators. For a moment we thought he might just take a header down which may have then ranked as the best part of the convention up to that point. Think of it as weebles wobble and that one was dangerously close to falling down.

In keeping in with my apparently "straight up G" ways I eventually fell onto bed sideways sometime after 4am.

Gallifrey 2009 - Day One

2009-02-17T19:08:00.001-06:00

There was no free wi-fi to be had in the hotel so sadly I couldn't do a running commentary of my adventures at Gallifrey 20. As such I missed a couple of messages pointing out to me at least two fellow Shooty Dog contributors that I could've met.

Thursday found us rolling in to the hotel right around noon. I had once again decided to drive, this time adding a second person so things wouldn't be too crazy. Or at least I had hoped so. We left Wednesday afternoon and here's a couple hightlights from that:

I lost my shit in Tuscon. It was about 3 or 4 in the morning and I had been driving most of the time since around 2 in the afternoon when we switched drivers at the Buc-ee's in Luling. Between the time of night, Monster Energy drink on a relatively empty stomach and construction I was done. It took me another 30 minutes to find a place to pull off. When I did I looked at my companion and told him he'd either have to drive or we'd be hanging out for awhile because I was done. As it was I spent about 5 minutes standing outside the car as I couldn't even stand to be in it. It's probably as close to crying as I've been in a long time.

Memo to a gas station in New Mexice: While I applaud having condoms readily available via vending machine in the women's bathroom you might not be targeting the correct audience with also having a vending option for a rubber studded cock ring. For the record this was not available in the men's room.

Memo to California: I know you guys are pretty much broke but would it kill you to stick a door on the main entrance to the restrooms at the rest stops? There's nothing I like more than at 9 in the morning sitting on a frozen toilet seat. And a sidenote, if I have to sit on a frozen toilet seat can the air blower send out hot air for my hands?

As I said, we got to the Marriott around noon and the reunions began. It's like the first day of school, seeing the friends you haven't seen since the end of the previous school year. Dan and I all but tackled John as he got off the shuttle. Eventually all my junk was loaded out of the car and I got cleaned up.

We had talked about maybe doing the Kings game later that evening but that idea was nixed. I had no desire to sit in a moving vehicle again and we were having too much fun just hanging out. A bunch of us went on what was to become the first of many runs to Carl's Jr for cheap food.

The Magical Bucket of Booze was eventually unpacked and some of the beers that I brought from Texas was put on ice. But Sam Adams had to be procured so I walked to the nearby liquor store where I was anally raped for 3 six packs. Seriously, nearly 10 bucks for a six pack. I know I'm in California but for god sake that's ridiculous. I definitely did not go back there again.

The reunions continued as a group got back from Disneyland. I nearly tackled Cathy and Keefe to the ground when they walked in. I ended up not only bringing out the original Magical Bucket of Booze but I brought it's little friend to help chill all the beer I had. Apparently I had a reputation to maintain as The Booze Leprechaun as some of the guests that had been at Chicago found me, bringing other friends along and going "This is Nicole. She's the one I told you about at Chicago with all the beer." Much like Cosby's kids who sang his praise for giving them chocolate cake my praise was being sung for bringing the beer. I lost count of all the people Simon Guerrier alone brought to me to partake of the bucket.

Thursday might have been the earliest night for me as I think I was in bed by 3 in the morning.

Going Back to Gally

2009-02-07T09:01:00.001-06:00

Plans have been made. Plans have been changed. Plans are being revised.

But at the end of the day I'll still be out in LA for Gallifrey 20 this upcoming week.

I have realized I've reached a new level of geekdom as I've already created a working plan of attack for the con based on the schedule as it currently is. Not as many conflicts as with Chicago TARDIS last November, but at least these conflicts are due to the excess of nougatty goodness and not just crap scheduling.

The Magical Bucket of Booze will also be making its first appearance in LA along with some fun surprises.

As always I would love to meet some of the 10 or 15 of you that I know read this blog. I'll be the one sporting the jaunty Pilgrim hat late at night in the lobby.

And for those of you that can't make it check back next week as I'll once again be posting my travelogue.

See y'all in LA.

The Prisoner's Dilemma - Spoilers Included

2009-01-24T16:09:00.001-06:00

Time constraints got more tighter and no Angelie means we decide to just do a single audio. With Gallifrey coming up we decide to do something special and pop in "The Prisoner's Dilemma" which I just grabbed from the Big Finish website.

The Prisoner's Dilemma stars Laura Doddington and Sophie Aldred, written by Simon Guerrier and directed by Lisa Bowerman. While it's the latest intallment in the Companion Chronicles it's also part of the new Key 2 Time series being produced by Big Finish.

We open with Ace and Zara getting thrown into the same cell. Zara's freaking out because she knows mind wiping is waiting for them while Ace is her usual cocky self in regards to escaping. Zara then begins to narrate how she came into being and how she's a liar and a killer.

Tim: Holy shit! It's McCoy's music. And a teaser which you normally don't see in a Doctor Who. Ya for new things!

Zara begins to talk about the Key and Tim starts moving his hands around.

Tim: I just remember this segment in the original series with the key spinning around. That's probably what the shimmering sound is.

Ace finds a way to break out of the cell and she and Zara make a run for the border. Their escape attempt fails as the alarm is sounded and they get zapped.

Me: Guess it wasn't such a good idea.

We continue to get Zara's backstory as she relays her first few hours of life after being programmed with the mission to find three segments of the key. Zara is a pretty heavy sneezer as she finds herself allergic to the air within a geodesic dome populated by Stepford Wives and Husbands.

Me: (as Apu) In a geodesic dome.

In the nature vs. nuture debate her blank slate is being filled by some cynical bloke named Zinc who we're constantly told takes advantage of her. This story is broken up with what's happening in the here and now with Ace in the prison.

Zara is apparently a bloodhound as her nose tingles as she gets closer to a segment.

Me: Well, that's an interesting way to find them.

Tim: She'll probably sneeze real hard and impale herself on it.

She finds a way to get to the segment which is apparently under the water. As she continues her story she relates seeing a man who's the 7th Doctor watching her, looking on disapprovingly. Zara reaches into the water to get the segment and bad things happen.

Tim: It sounds like she's a tracer. That's great they kept the sound effect.

She's basically boiled the water which leaves a huge mud pit where the lake was and plenty of dead fish and people. Naturally the local authorities aren't down with that and Zara is arrested, bringing us back to how sends up in the cell with Ace. Zinc ditching Zara leads Zara to sell Ace down the river as Ace tries to pull a Doctor to get out of the situation. The episode ends with Ace screaming about how she's trying to save the world and if her memory is wiped everyone will die.

Me: Could just be me, but I'd actually explain what I'm trying to do if my memory is about to wiped instead of just saying we're all gonna die.

Episode two begins and this time Ace is the narrator. She begins recounting a tale where she, the Doctor, and a woman with earrings who knew a lot about dead things were trying to recover a time bracelet stolen by Zinc and his wife, Magda, from the Trib museum. I begin to grin and stamp my foot as Ace talks about the woman and how Ace's mom brought a man to a wedding that Ace had also managed to snog.

Tim: I don't get the reference.

Me: It's Benny!

Tim: Oh. Okay. I guess if I had focused on the mention of dead things I'd have gotten it. The earrings threw me. I knew what Florana was.

Ace manages to infiltrate Zinc and Magda's partnership and we eventually learn how Zinc gets to Zara and where he goes when he's left her. He and Magda develop a plan that will destroy Aratune and since Ace mentioned her skill at demolitions want her to do the dirty work. Instead Ace makes enough of a scene to get arrested in the hopes of being able to alert the authorities to Zinc and Magda's plans. But as we're reminded from the rehash of episode one that plan doesn't work out so well.

Ace continues to recount how her memories were getting sucked out, every last precious memory.

Me: They even took the last can of Who hash!

Zinc apparently saves the day, rescuing Zara and Ace. Zara returns to narrating the story and explains how she and Zinc retrieve the segment to the Key and leave Ace and Magda to take the fall. Ace escapes and ends up being rescued by the 7th Doctor. Magda gets her mind wiped while Zinc and Zara go off to be Bonnie and Clyde. Or at least Zara goes off to be Bonnie as the rocket gets launched. Ace starts to wonder what Zara has done to her, Zinc, and Magda.

Me: She's fucked you all.

Ace gets rescued by the Doctor again while Zara is heading off to go hunting for the segments with Zinc in tow. We get an explanation why all the Stepford Wives and Husbands were doing their tasks as it was part of the safety system the planet has in place. The Doctor takes Ace off to the TARDIS to hopefuly retrieve her memories and explains not to worry about Zara, that he knows how it all ends.

We get a big surprise as we stumble upon the interview Simon does with Laura, Sophie, and Lisa.

Tim: Apparently the Doctor takes all his women to the Eye of Orion. It's oddly different. Lisa's right in that it's a big audio book with an extra person so it's taking some getting used to. I was of the understanding that these chronicles were a way to have stories involving Doctors who are dead or in the case of Tom Baker unwilling to play ball. To have a McCoy era story is kind of odd to me, but with his character being so mysterious and manipulative being underplayed, as a silent character in the background sort of works.

Me: I'm not sure what I was expecting as this is even strange by Companion Chronicles standards with two narrators. It's almost Rashomon in nature.

Tim: It's hard to explain. Maybe if I had heard the other Key 2 Time first and got introduced to Zara that way it might've been a bit easier to see this as a multi-doctor story without the Doctor. As it is it just seems like Ace's story with Zara along for the ride, but that's because I'm more used to Ace. I'm Ace biased. It's nothing against the writing.

Me: I defnitely enjoyed it, especially all the little references like Cheldon Boniface and the unammed Benny bit. A very capable directing job by Lisa Bowerman who having also directed some of the other Key 2 Time stories does a great job in making sure Zara is not the same as we see her in the other audios. As always Sophie is able to seemingly go back in time to be the Ace we all know and love from twenty plus years ago without cojuring the image of an Ace in her forties, if that makes sense. Laura Doddington moves easily from crazy, evil Zara to the innocent newborn that we first see her as.

We're Still Here

2009-01-19T19:12:00.001-06:00

We'll be returning from the holiday season this Saturday. Check back later in the afternoon as due to time constraints we'll make our way only through The Poison Seas and Death and the Daleks from season 4 of Bernice Summerfield.

If I can work it out you'll be seeing a Tomorrow People segment starting in February. Keep your eyes out for that.

I have been horribly remiss, but in issue 7 of Shooty Dog Thing I contributed an essay on the upcoming ten year anniversary of Big Finish. Also starting with issue 9 I'll be part of the review team, naturally doing audios. Think of it as the same booze, but with less words, less snark and no turkey or steak. My first offering will be Seasons of Fear written by Paul Cornell and Caroline Symcox.

Also in the horrible remiss department our friends at Forest 4 the Trees, Cathy and Keefe, did a review of Gallifrey 19 for Doctor Who Podshock back in August. It's a great convention report from the eys of first timers and they also give us a little shout out.

Speaking of Gallifrey the countdown is on as we're now less than a month away from Gallifrey 20 in Los Angeles. As last time you'll be able to find us in the lobby with either a pint or an overpriced cup of coffee in our hands. Please stop by and say 'hi' at some point. We enjoy meeting you all.

On the Big Finish front plans are being made to relaunch the Big Finish classics line with The Phantom of the Opera. New podcasts and music downloads will be made available. Apparently all they need to do is sell another 750 copies/downloads and Barnaby Edwards will be given the greenlight to produce another classic. He's got three ready to go so go help a brother out and get yourself a copy.

See you all Saturday.

Gallifrey 2009 Guest Update

2008-12-27T11:24:00.002-06:00

I guess the convention gods were reading this blog when I whinged and moaned about how the Chicago TARDIS schedule didn't allow me to see more of Colin Baker. The following is the guest announcement made by the fine people that run Gallifrey a few days ago. I sense a good friend of mine will be staying up late at night trying to figure out what to get autographed. ;)

Gallifrey Conventions is delighted to make a major announcement about two new guests for our 2009 convention:

We are extremely pleased to welcome back the Sixth Doctor, COLIN BAKER. Colin is a special sponsored guest being brought over by Alien Entertainment, a major dealer of Doctor Who memorabilia, as well as the sponsors of our annual sister convention ChicagoTARDIS and the official North American distributor of Big Finish Productions audios. Colin Baker, who played the Doctor from 1984-1986, has been with us several times in the past, and is being sponsored by Alien Entertainment for a trip to Los Angeles to help promote the Big Finish audio series. As such, he'll be signing in the dealers room at the Alien Entertainment table. However, Colin *will* be participating in the rest of the Gallifrey 2009 convention... including a panel that reunites him with his co-star Nicola Bryant (Peri) for the first time at a US convention in many years.

Meanwhile, it is our pleasure to welcome for his first North American convention actor KAI OWEN, in a visit sponsored by Tenth Planet Events. Kai is familiar to current audiences from his role as Rhys Williams, the husband of Gwen Cooper on Torchwood, who is a recurring regular on the series and whose role was expanded
during the second season. Kai Owen has also appeared on stage and in such productions as "Casualty" and "Rocket Man" as well as productions for Welsh television. Tenth Planet Events, who are long-time
dealers in the Gallifrey One dealers room, will be hosting the actor for autographs at their table; Owen will also appear on stage on several panels, including together with actor Gareth David Lloyd (Ianto).

Additionally, some very good news: GARY RUSSELL will be at Gallifrey 2009 after all! The long-time writer/producer and friend of Gallifrey One had to cancel out due to his responsibilities on Doctor Who's 2009 schedule, but has been able to make some time to get to Los Angeles after all. And STEVE ROBERTS
of the Doctor Who Restoration Team will be joining us for panels, including a look at the current and forthcoming slate of BBC Doctor Who DVDs for 2009.

Chicago TARDIS 2008 - Day Six

2008-12-17T21:18:00.001-06:00

Monday finds me praying for the sweet release of death.

Normally I do not get hangovers when I drink. Apparently my body decided the day I was to start my drive back to Houston would be a good time to have one. Oddly enough my body likes to do that. The last major hangover I had came after a night of drinking in New Orleans at a Squeeze show where I lost count after screwdriver number six in an attempt to keep up with the locals and the British fans. Many early morning hours were spent wrapped around the Porcelain God but I had to a get back on the road to head to Austin to see the band again. Insert a bit of my vision going just as I got off the causeway, not making it to the Waffle House in time and therefore hanging my head out of my car window to throw up along with a two hour nap in an Exxon parking lot and that would sum up my return trip in that instance.

You remember that scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off where Cameron is in his bedroom and Ferris is trying to convince him to skip school? The part where he's laying there in the dark, singing "When Cameron was in Egypt's land"? That was me Monday morning. Except without the singing because that would've hurt too much. As it was I had to beg John and Dan to stop making me laugh because that was putting me perilously close to puking my guts out. Unlike my New Orleans trip solids did not pass through my lips in the wrong direction, but it took me a long time to become functional.

John and Dan left for the airport around ten and I just hung around the lobby trying to regain my faculties. I was almost gifted a bunch of booze but that hand off never happened. I also got invited to dinner which I had to naturally turn down.

I finally headed out around eleven, wishing old and new friends safe flights. It had snowed most of the night so while the roads were relatively clear it was still slow going. Things were not helped by the public works department deciding they didn't need to clean the road signs. This means I went the wrong way on the turnpike and spent a good thirty minutes trying to go the right way. All I'll really say about the trip back is that I'll never drive through Oklahoma again. That nearly broke me and I ended up sleeping a few hours in a gas station parking lot to get my head back on straight. I eventually made it back into Houston around three in the afternoon on Tuesday.

Much love has to be given to my roommates, John and Dan. I don't think the convention would've been half as fun if they hadn't made it out. Fine me on Facebook and see how much fun we all had in visual form.

India Fisher pwned me in ways I hadn't been pwned since I saw a photo of Miles Richardson with a midget. We were in stitches every time she spoke during a panel. Her continual egging/friendly griping at Jason for not using her for the BBC7 McGann audios was priceless. I hope Colin is successful in his pursuit to keep Charley as his companion. I'm so glad I got the chance to see her. Lord knows if she'll ever make it back for another convention, I can only hope so.

Speaking of convention returns would it surprise anyone if I said I really hope Lisa Bowerman shows up at Gallifrey 20? It's fun to be able to talk with someone who's worked both sides of the audio studio for Big Finish. The rest of the gang from the Key 2 Time series will be there so in my sad little world it makes sense for her to be there as well. I'm a sad unofficial Benny pimp that way, but that's why you guys love me.

The Magical Bucket of Booze will return at Gallifrey 20 in LA. You won't be able to miss us so do come by and say "hi" if you happen to be there.

Quick Cross Plug

2008-12-15T22:51:00.001-06:00

I've decided it's high time that I chronicle my adventures in fandom and booze. If you think you'd be even remotely interested in reading me voice my opinions on things besides Big Finish audios I encourage you to join me.

Drink + Geek

Must give props to my friends James who helped nail down that blog title for me.

No Livejournal mirror site, but I do have the Facebook Blog Network deal.

My Brain Just Exploded With Pleasure

2008-12-11T23:12:00.001-06:00

If you were at Chicago TARDIS you might remember that in the Big Finish panels there was talk of a special Paul McGann 8th Doctor release. No info, just promise of a release within the regular Doctor Who line with McGann.

If you read Matthew Cochrane's nifty blog (handy dandy link on your right) you'll remember he mentioned he was getting ready to work on this release. Again, no info outside of something nifty keen is happening with McGann.

If you've gotten your hands on DWM issue #403 you'll see that they've released what's involved with the release. If you haven't and you'd like to remain spoiler free turn back now.

Seriously, avert your eyes because blogger doesn't have the spiffy cut option that Livejournal does. Or if it does I'm not smart enough to discover and use it.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

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The McGann release is currently titled The Company of Friends and will have four stories, each with a different companion. My brain has just exploded with pleasure because one of the stories will be a Lance Parkin tale involving Benny! I cannot be the only one all a flutter over the possibilities of Paul McGann and Lisa Bowerman in an audio together. Can I?

All fluttering aside it's great to see Big Finish give Benny another shot in the main range of Who audios. I had thought we'd seen the last of her in that capacity after the atrocity that was The Dark Flame nearly a hundred releases ago.

Chicago TARDIS 2008 - Day Five

2008-12-06T14:15:00.002-06:00

Sunday finds me waking up to find there's a huge bruise on my outside right thigh and a pretty ugly gash on the inside of my right ankle. I have no clue how either of those things happened as the Scrabble game never got physical and Saturday night was probably the most sober I'd been the entire convention. Sidenote to Scrabble game: nothing like finishing a game and then having Rob Shearman critique your board to make you feel inadequate. ;)

I continued the usual routine of going downstairs to the lobby to check my email and the weather. Snow was in the forecast as in the early morning the projection was just for 2 -4 inches. By late morning it was starting to snow, but not stick to the ground. Not having seen proper snow in 14 years I had to go outside and catch some on my tongue. At that point though people were saying the forecast was now for close to a foot of snow. This was not cool since I had driven up there and would naturally have to drive back. I had about an hour long freakout as I tried to decide whether to leave right then to beat the weather or take my chances. One drive later to gas up the car and do some other things calmed me down enough to decide to stay.

Based on issues with the schedule Sunday quickly became dubbed "Colin Baker Day". I really wish the schedule hadn't had so many conflicts so I could've seen more than one Q&A session. His sessions were slightly different in that he was on stage by himself and you could walk up to a microphone in the center of the aisle to ask your question. When you got up there he'd ask you your name and then get everyone to say "hi" to you. His sunday session was a lot of fun and helped solidify my newfound love for him thanks to Big Finish. Probably the funniest/saddest question was a woman who went "Are you still acting?" He handled it way better than I. My response would've been, "Go to the dealer's room and find the table with a ton of CD's. There will be plenty with my face circa 1984 on it. Go buy some, listen to them, and then come back with a better question." This is why I'll probably never be allowed to speak at a convention.

But I still go to the zoo with people so it's all good.

After that I quick ran to the dealer's room to get Kate Orman's autograph on some items. I had missed out on her autograph the day before due to the line being so long and her having a panel to be on at 5pm. I had caught her earlier and asked if she'd stick around a bit after Sunday's signing explaining I was going to see Colin. She graciously agreed and then I think I won long time/creepy Kate Orman fan award by producing one of the items I had for her to sign, a Data fanzine from 1994 that had two pages worth of drabbles by her and some really horrible drawings by someone else. The response I got were wide eyes and a very surpries "Fuck off!" said in a good way when I brought out the 'zine.

With that I had an hour to kill before it was time to queue for Colin's autograph. That line wasn't too bad and I watched as the woman in front of me thanked Colin for staying well past quitting time years ago at some convention to sign autographs. Apparently the organizers were going to cap the line but when Colin heard about what was about to happen he told them to bugger off and signed for everyone that wanted one. Colin thanked her and said that it wasn't right to make people queue up and then not let them get what they had queued up for. My turn and I gave him a DVD cover to sign to Tim. To this he said that if I had come yesterday I could've gotten something that he mistakenly addressed to a Tim but that they had found someone named Tim to give to. I thanked him but pointed out that my Tim might've been a tad confused when I came back with some random item with his name and not the DVD cover I was given.

I had Colin sign my Big Finish book and mentioned how I was of the many converted to his Doctor thanks to his work with Big Finish and how they'd done a great job in rehabbing his Doctor. As I walked off I wished him a safe flight and he did the same to me. I couldn't help myself and pointed out that I had actually driven. He and his handler asked where I drove from and rather matter of factly said, "only Houston". Then we talked for a few minutes about that which ended with him wishing me a safe drive. A very nice moment for me.

This pretty much concluded the convention proper portion of the weekend for me. John and I were starving and had no parties to hit so we walked to the mall where I managed to miss the Chicago hot dog stand and get Taco Bell instead. On the way out I spotted a store that sold nothing but bar stuff like pint glasses, beer taps and neon signs. Naturally I had to go inside. I grabbed a Molson Twin Label pint glass with the Molson logo on one side and the label Can I Buy You A Lager on the other. I was eyeing a Phillies glass when I heard a voice similar to Jeri's from Strangers With Candy saying, "That's the thing with boob jobs. They're trying to make everything perfect." The voice went on to say, "Take a look at my breasts." I was afraid she was going to say something about them being fake to which I would've had to interrupt the conversation and tell her to get her money back. To the relief of my imagination which was still working out hilarious scenarios involving That Which Broke My Mind (tm) Friday night she then said "They're not symmetrical." It was on this note that it was decided that it was time to leave the store.

I briefly found myself in the lobby by my lonesome with the Magical Bucket of Booze. Jon Blum is writing an article on Who fandom and was interviewing New Who fans all weekend. I caught the tail end of one of the interviews. I won't spoil it, but the young man being interviewed had a very adult and deep reason for what he gets out of the show which made me feel slightly inadequate.

Those feelings disappeared though with the final night with the Magical Bucket of Booze. At one point I was holding court with Simon, Lisa, Jason Haigh-Ellery, and Laura Doddington. The Magical Bucket helped Laura not break a New Year's resolution and she was impressed that the Magical Bucket of Booze was also recyclable. Lisa and Simon were singing the praises of myself and the entire Time Team to Jason which left me dead chuffed. I preached to the choir (Laura) regarding Lisa's skills as a director and threw out there that she should come back to Gallifrey since the other Key 2 Time folks will be back there. Then I could do another Gallifreyan Edition of the Time Team for the first Key 2 Time story.

The snow had kept falling all day and eventually once the sun had gone down the snow actually started to stick. I tried to get Rob to make snow angels. One Culture Club song later I think I had convincer him I had no evil intentions of just pushing him in the snow. But alas there were no angels to be made at that point. That came later when I convinced Jarrod to make some with me. There are photos somewhere of said angels being made. That was fun but clearly I wasn't drunk enough as I could feel how cold and wet my backside had become.

Simon handed out an anniversary edition of his fanzine "Concrete Elephant" that might have the best synopsis of Romeo and Juliet I've ever seen. The back of the 'zine encourages people to make their own and pass them out at Gallifrey.

Chicago TARDIS 2008 - Day Four

2008-12-03T21:07:00.001-06:00

As you may remember, Friday night ended with me piss drunk and paper cutting my good eye with the program schedule. I woke up Saturday with my vision a little blurry, naturally. It wasn't so massive that I ended up asking the hotel to take me to the hospital, but the edges of things were blurry enough that I was a little freaked. For those of you that don't know my bad eye is a pretty useless. I could walk around with a patch on it and have just about the same amount of vision at my disposal. At this point I've been told that technology would allow me to get contacts but that I'd probably still want to wear glasses to protect the good eye.

I made my way downstairs and tried to read the Wall Street Journal, hoping that things would clear up as I became a tad more active. Not at the outset so after an hour or so I went back to bed, resolved to trudge over to Target as soon as it opened. Took a nap, bascially, and then woke up right around opening time for Target. Slipping my Docs and a sweater on I trudged over there, got the eye drops, and made my way back to the room. The vision was clearing up a tad so I was a little less freaked, but the next day and a half I was doing the eye drops every four hours.

Once I got past the eye crisis I eventually made my way to the Writing for Different Media panel with Cornell, Guerrier, Shearman, and Russell. I came in the middle of Guerrier, Russell, and Shearman making fun of Cornell for not using owls in the television version of Human Nature. Much talk about the owls picketing the set since Paul had abandoned them. I'm not sure which image burned deeper into my brain: Paul in the shower with an owl on each shoulder or Rob googling himself to read reviews of his porn work. It was clear though that all four genuinely like one another and I wish someone had videotaped the panel. I couldn't stop laughing.

Next up was the Women of Big Finish panel, with Simon and Jason Haigh-Ellery. Again, tons of fun and just like Friday India Fisher stole the panel. I kind of felt bad to Laura Doddington and Ciara Janson. Since the Key 2 Time series hasn't come out yet it was hard to get them involved in the conversation. But they held their own and this only gave them a taste of what it'll be like for Gallifrey in February. We also got to hear trailers for all three Key 2 Time releases once the sound guys figured out how to play the cd. That actually might've been the funniest part of the panel as everyone on stage was doing a running commentary of the three guys trying to get it to work. At one point I offered to get my laptop and just play it from that.

Eventually I staked my claim in the line for Lis Sladen's autograph. The line was huge and I was part of a group that was waiting in a separate ballroom. An hour and a half later I finally got the stuff I wanted autographed. Lis was lovely, spending a few moments talking to everyone to made their way to her. She got a kick out of my Big Finish coffee table book.

With that knocked out of the way I made my way back to the main ballroom to catch the end of the Big Finish panel. Nothing really new from the panel on Friday, but it was fun to have Nick Briggs join the group. After that panel it was off to the races as I got back in the autograph line for the Big Finish bunch along with Kate Orman and Jon Blum. The line was huge and once again it took over an hour for me to make my way to the table. I said this personally to Nick Briggs later on in the hotel elevator and I'll say it again, it was very nice that they stayed until everyone had gotten through the line. It's obviously the right thing to do, but considering how long each day was for them, the fact that jetlag was still a bit of an issue, and that the women were going to immediately have to go to the other side of the room for an hour long photo session, it would've been understandable if they tried to cut the line off. As it was Kate and some of the other guests had to leave at 5pm because they were scheduled to be on panels. Jon finally connected the Time Team with my face when it was his turn to sign my copy of "Life During Wartime" and noticed the inscriptions. He mentioned having read our session regarding "The Fearmonger", vowing to keep an eye on us, and then not getting back to us. I also surprised him when I busted out my VHS sleeve for "Time Rift". Jon promises that the remastered version should be ready to go in January.

Like Friday night we hit a couple of parties that were happening and snagged some grub. I made my way to the lobby and hung out with some folks. Gary Russell came down and somehow I ended up doing my impersonation of an electronic Frosty the Snowman you might find at your local CVS. Apparently I amused him enough to have him ask me to do it again. It obviously loses something in translation so I'll be more than happy to do it at Gallifrey if requested.

The Magical Bucket of Booze (tm) made its way down to the lobby where I found myself talking smack as I played scrabble with Jarrod. A natural outlet for my heckling tendencies. Rob Shearman found his way to our group and we talked for a few hours. The water wall was doing its job as I started nodding off, only to be woken up to everyone in the group telling me to go to bed.

So that's just what I did.

Chicago TARDIS 2008 - Day Three

2008-11-29T10:38:00.001-06:00

Alcohol to replenish the Magical Bucket of Booze...$37.86

Lis Sladen Autograph...$20.00

Clear Eyes Triple Action Eye Drops...$2.16

Having to buy the Clear Eyes because your mind was broken last night by some information that wouldn't have broken you so much if you weren't piss drunk and when later in the evening you were imagining a scenario involving said mind breaking information, with your glasses off and managing to nick your eye with the corner of the fucking program schedule....Priceless

You probably want me to fill in the blanks, don't you?

Day three would start with us standing in line to get our packets. Apparently I wasn't cool enough to rate a pre-printed name badge. I don't feel so bad though because Dan had gotten his stuff in July and hadn't gotten a pre-printed name badge either. Then it was on to the races trying to figure out how to work through the damn scheduling conflicts.

It turned out to be a Big Finish/Writers day as I traveled back and forth between rooms to either see a Big Finish related panel, get autographs from the Big Finish gang, or listen to some of the writers talk about their craft. Autographs came first and it was nice to once again thrill and provide chuckles for the guests as they saw their younger selves in the Big Finish Audio book. As always, the Benny gang of Lisa Bowerman, Paul Cornell, Simon Guerrier, and Rob Shearman were pleasure to chat as the autograph line moved. It was my first time meeting India Fisher and Jason Haigh-Ellery and both are kind and gracious. And as a bonus I got Lisa to do a personal inscription on an item for Tim.

During the Benny panel Paul talked about the fact that he's in discussion to come back and do some work on Benny in a couple of years along with mention of the tenth season. Before you ask, nothing was specifically mentioned about the tenth season, just that we can expect one.

India Fisher had me in stitches during the Big Finish panel. She is just a laugh riot and tons of fun. Most of that session involved talking about the upcoming Key 2 Time series.

The various writers panel were great for those aspiring writers/authors. Rob Shearman's session was basically him holding court discussing how ugly the World Fantasy Award is and the early days of the new series when they were trying to push the boundaries of what the BBC would let them do. Simon went into a bit of how he got to where he was as an author, his influences, and the basic process of getting commissioned and doing a BBC new series book. Later in another panel he would talk about working with the 25 new writers for the Short Trips anthology. Kate Orman and Jon Blum talked a tad about writing during the New Adventures era, a story that never saw the light of day, and how they work together as a writing team.

Later on I made another run to the liquor store since the Magical Bucket of Booze was running low. For those of you in Texas think of it as a smaller Spec's. I picked up a 12 pack of Sam Adams lager and Shiner Cheer. Yes, I managed to find Shiner in Chicago. The Christmas Cheer is their dunkel with a noticeable peach aftertaste and a hint of pecans. I'm digging it but I think it might've been a tad too wonky for Simon.

There were some parties that were hit because I'm all about the Tacos of Doom and you can't avoid going to an awesome celebration for the Third Doctor. He's not my favorite, but I respect the passion of his fans for throwing that party. Anyone interested in a Benny one at Gallifrey?

Eventually my way was made back down to the lobby with the Magical Bucket of Booze by my side. Simon stopped by to partake of The Bucket for a second night. Again, this is what I love about these conventions. You can sit down in the hotel lobby, have a few beers, and chat with guests like you're old mates. There's no pretentions or vibe that they're better than you. At the heart of the matter they're also fans, just fans who got lucky to work on show they love.

It was during this point of the evening that my mind was broken. I made it up to the room with the remains of The Bucket. I plopped into bed, took my glasses off, and was speaking of that which broke my mind while flipping the convention schedule which was printed separate from the convention program. My eye normally freaks out when anything comes within a twenty mile radius of it, but apparently the booze weakened the defenses because before I knew it the damn corner of a page I was flipping knicked my eye.

Chicago TARDIS 2008 - Day Two

2008-11-28T07:50:00.001-06:00

Day two found me texting my roommate at 6:30am wondering what room he was in so I could finally crash. I was starting to drift asleep in the lobby and I didn't want to be that person, especially since I kind of looked like a bum. But before that I had some lovely eggs benedict and hash browns in one of the hotel restaurants. I kind of wandered in sad and pathetic asking if they were open. I was in luck as they had just opened. If someone can find me a more picture perfect eggs benedict than what I had here I'll be impressed.

I made it the room and ended up catching a couple hours of sleep. More would've been nice but at the same time I was afraid I'd screw up my sleep pattern. Very quickly I decide I'll just go the Gallifrey route of being up for an insanely long period of time. The showers at the hotel rock! Double shower head and a nice fluffy robe. Free in room Starbucks let me be the coffee whore/hypocrite that I am. Eventually I wandered back downstairs where people were finally showing up. Immediately I was invited to a party friday night celebrating the Third Doctor. There will be free booze.

Speaking of booze the hotel bars closed at 8pm since it was the holidays. This meant that there would be a bunch of Englishmen very sad and very sober at this state of affairs. Damn us and our celebrating the shipment of Puritans getting ready to steal land from the Indians. And I like beer as well if you hadn't noticed. After a lovely conversation with Paul Cornell that Dan and I had it was decided that the impending booze crisis had to averted. Someone else was also pointing out to the hotel staff that the lack of booze was sad while I was getting a hotel shuttle to drive me to a liquor store. We found probably the only one open in our neck of the woods and provisions were procured.

Sidenote: The Westin is VERY nice. Not that I've stayed at tons of hotels, but this might be the first where by the end of the day I knew half the staff's names. Everyone went out of their way to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving, tell us their names, and let us know they were gonna spoils us rotten if we let them. It's amazing what a little bit of a personal touch and communication can do. Wish more companies realized that.

When our other roommate, John, got in we hung out in the lobby some more before going to get the traditional holiday meal of White Castle. Actually Dan has never had White Castle so we figured Thanksgiving was a good as time as any to remedy that situation. We piled back into the hotel shuttle to go to White Castle. We were not the only people with belly bombers on our minds as the place was packed. We quickly learned the reason for this as the place was only staff with four people: The manager, some kid named Dan, some senior citizen who was sporting a name badge with the words "Trainee", and a guy hidden in the back who didn't go anywhere near the grease. The manager was assembling burgers like there was no tomorrow all the while screaming at White Castle Dan to get the fries down in a high pitched voice that our Dan did to perfection. White Castle Dan was getting screamed at about the fries but he was too busy helping Grandma on the register who couldn't grok that you'd press the onion ring button when someone ordered onion rings. Literally every order involved her calling Shouty Manager or White Castle Dan to help with the register. Someone needs to explain to me why you would even put a trainee on a register for a holiday? We were howling as we were waiting for our food and Dan was doing a very loud impression of Shouty Manager. 50 years later we got our food. John apparently did something wrong as he didn't get an apology for waiting while Dan and I did.

Back in the lobby and we settled down to our Thanksgiving meal. The magical bucket of booze made its first appearance along with a rather jaunty Pilgrim hat I was sporting. Or leprachaun hat/Patrick Troughton hat as later declared by Paul Cornell and Simon Guerrier accordingly. I apparently missed the hat going on Simon's head as I had gone to refill the magicical bucket of booze. I hear there might be photos. The rest of the evening was spent chatting with Paul, Simon and Tara who I later learned shared an intense love of 80's American cartoons and might have a friend in common with me.

The magical bucket of booze is still full. Think of it as the TARDIS of booze.

Chicago Tardis 2008 - Day One

2008-11-27T05:12:00.001-06:00

What would be an excursion to a Who convention if I didn't give you all a little travelogue of my adventures?

After much hemming and hawing I decided to drive up to Chicago from Houston. Gas prices have dropped significantly and it gave me some flexibility since The Westin is kind of in the suburbs of Chicago. I hit the road Wednesday morning around 6:30am after finding kind souls to watch the cats and last minute stuff to the car. Now, the directions I printed said it should take me a little over 18 hours to do the drive. I've no clue how fast they think I planned on going, but I call shenanigans. I went a tad insane and just drove straight through. I stopped only for gas and the occasional bathroom/foot warming break and arrived at the hotel at 4:30am Thursday. The longest break was probably 30 minutes or so.

Speaking of calling shenanigans I also do so in regards to the weather. I grew up in South Jersey so I know cold, but haven't had much practice in the 14 years I've been down in Houston. The weather reports all say the lows in Chicago would be in the upper 20's. My car thermometer says it's 19 degrees and I had the frozen legs to prove it. I choose to travel without the heat running. I had no clue how bad my legs were initially until I stepped out of the car and immediately had trouble walking. Clearly I need to rebuild my cold weather tolerance.

Overall the drive was nice. I'm kind of glad I plowed right through because I hit a couple of spots where the traffic was funky due to construction. Those got hit during off hours in terms of traffic so it allowed me to have my freak out moment in regards to where I needed to be without screwing up other people or causing accidents. Speaking of which, I saw a bunch, all going westbound so it just gave me something to look at besides trees. Which I saw a lot of and while I like fall foliage it kind of turns into white noise after the fourth hour.

One of the places I stopped for gas was at some deal called Boomland!. Honestly, that's what it's called. The place to get all your fireworks, kitschy evil rooster knick knacks, and Jesus paraphanelia. Think of it as a tacky Buc-ee's.

As I noted, I got into the hotel around 4:30am. I'm currently chillin' in the lobby all by my lonesome. I must admit to being a tad surprised. While I didn't think a lot of people would be coming in Wednesday I just figured that surely some had and they'd make their way to the lobby. The guys I'm staying with got in on Wednesday but the original plan was for me to arrive in the afternoon. I figure it's a bit of a party foul to send a text in the early AM wondering what room I should go to just because I got all crazy and drove straight through.

Chicago, Chicago..

2008-11-09T19:01:00.002-06:00

Yes, I shall be in the windy city for this year's Chicago TARDIS. Tickets are still available and there's a preliminary schedule full of nougatty goodness. We'll try to have a Time Team up before then, but no promises with the holidays fast approaching. As with Gallifrey if you read this blog and you're gonna be at TARDIS as well I'd love to meet you. Also since I've got a laptop with mighty fine speakers I'll be posting a recap of my adventures in booze and Who ala' Gallifrey.

Speaking of Gallifrey, tickets and hotel rooms are going like hot cakes. The guest list is absolutely awesome for this early in the game and there's the promise of more to come. Seriously, if you're even thinking of going to Gallifrey I'd book my hotel room now if I were you to get the con rate while you can.

I'm sure I'm late to the party, but in case you've been living under a rock Rob Shearman recently won a World Fantasy Award for his collection Tiny Deaths.

The final two plays in the 9th season of Bernice Summerfield, The Adventure of the Diogenes Damsel and The Diet of Worms, has been released. The cover design is now up for this year's novella collection, Professor Bernice Summerfield and the Vampire Curse.

Like I said hopefully we'll get another Time Team installment in before Chicago. If not hopefully I'll see you in Chicago.

Post Ike Edition

2008-10-12T20:13:00.005-05:00

As I said in the previous post we all survived Hurricane Ike relatively intact. Many thanks to those of you that sent private and public well wishes. Houston is slowly getting back to normal but it will take a long time for Galveston to rebuild, if they even try to rebuild the whole island. One of the things our Who group in Houston likes to do every year is Dickens on the Strand. It's an annual Dickensian festival that happens the first weekend in December. You get to buy Ye Olde' Gorditas and give pennies to street urchins sporting their finest Nike sneakers. Family of elves smoke as local newscasters speak jive to Santa before the parade begins. Some male relative of Dickens shows up and gives a reading of The Christmas Carol. You can also tour some of the historical houses for an extra fee, every year I try to go to the one serving the English Breakfast and never make it.

This year we don't know right now if there will be a Dickens on the Strand. From what I'm hearing a lot of those old homes were damaged, which is not suprising considering how bad the storm was and how only residents are still allowed on the island. While giving to the Red Cross or donating blood is a great way to help, the Space City Timelords will try to help out the Galveston Historical Foundation, who puts on Dickens on the Strand. Where else am I gonna be able to get into a historical festival at a discounted costume rate when I tell them I'm a time traveler who's visiting and that's why I'm wearing jeans and a sweater. All kidding aside, Dickens on the Strand has provided us many years of enjoyment and we hope that at least that part of Galveston is able to continue.

I am seriously bummed about Ian Collier.

Food today is provided by Dickey's Barbecue Pit. Much slow cooked meat and sides are consummed. Nothing fancy in the beer department this time. Just some Shiner Bock that's been hanging out in the fridge.

The Bellotron Incident ushers in the beginning of season four for Benny and the return of Louise Falkner as Bev Tarrant. We're implored to gather round the campfire and listen to Old Man tell an old tale about war.

Me: All the Who's down in Whoville?

Old Man keeps droning on about his story, imploring children and talismans to be kept safe.

Tim: Is this a four minute monologue?

Angelie: It's only four minutes out of sixty minutes.

Tim: You only get thirty seconds in an audition.

The first track ends and we get the second track which seems to be a continuation of the monologue.

Tim: Oh my god! I'm not drunk enough for this.

Angelie: This track is only two minutes long.

Tim: On top of the first four! This is like every Chris Carter season premiere.

The Old Man gets killed and there's much rejoicing.

Tim: Alas poor Yurick, I knew him well, Horatio.

We get some dialogue and someone mentions Potatoheads.

Angelie: Mmm....potatoes....

Tim: And his bucket of parts?

We're still Bennyless almost ten minutes in as we learn the officers talking are in the middle of the Rutan/Sontaran war. They come across a dead nomad and his equally dead pack animal, wondering how they died.

Tim: By monologue.

The probe investigating the planet goes all pissy and sends a message saying a specialist needs to be involved.

Angelie: Like Benny?

She's reading the Captain's mind as he calls Braxiatel, apparently an old friend. The Captais says the planet they're in orbit around is called Bellotron.

Me: I think we have title! And exposition.

The planet is moving in a funky orbit and need someone to investigate the planet in the next thirty-six hours. Preferably someone that's knowledgable, tactful, and willing to follow orders.

Angelie and Me: That's not Benny.

Fifteen minutes in and we finally get Benny as she's come out of cryo sleep, fairly cranky. She's giving The Commander a hard time going through all the security protocols. Benny remarks that she's being escorted by two penis substitution ships.

Angelie: They call them dildoes.

As we go through more exposition Tim busts of the new Doctor Who monster book to show Angelie what the Rutans look like.

Me: This is pretty disappointing so far for a Mike Tucker script.

Tim: I'm glad he had that scene with Braxiatel because I really stopped paying attention prior to that. They completely recap what happened in the previous two scenes. We really didn't need it.

The first "Goddess" is uttered.

Angelie and Me: drink!

Me: And this bit of exposition is totally negating the exposition recap between Brax and The Captain.

Then we go through a bunch of stuff that maybe The Captain should have before Benny showed up: like naming her a mission specialist in the computer and ascertaining if The Commander thinks she's competent enough.

Me: Yeah, he's a good person to ask, seeing as he's only known her for like twenty minutes. Are they trying to go for sexual tension between Benny and The Commander...

Angelie: Because it's not working.

Me: Yeah.

Benny bitches out The Commander for not bringing back up with them as they go onto the planet.

Me: They really could've started the story from this point and dropped the first twenty or so minutes.

Tim: Yeah.

Benny says "cruk".

Me: Drink.

The Commander disengages the engine as he and Benny land on the planet.

Me: Just like we're disengaged from the story. Ooo....Benny said "Goddess. Drink!

They land and there's a weird howling sound in the background.

Me: Did they land on the Wookie planet?

Tim: Or the Star Trek comedy planet?

Benny talks about her wily feminine intution regarding not trying to be Brill food and Angelie and I just kind of look at each other.

Angelie: I'm about to go get some dental floss.

Me: Seriously, Mike Tucker has done some really good stories. This is not one of them. He's resorted to making Benny queen of the one-liners like some sort of bad Don Rickles. Not that there's really a good Don Rickles but...

Stuff happens and they move deeper into the tunnels. They get to one tunnel and Benny thinks she sees something.

Me: Like a better script?

Tim: That's not the cup of the carpenter.

We've got Rutan!

Tim: I think the Rutan here just talked more than in the entire of the original Who series.

Bev makes a dramatic entrance.

Tim: Should I remember that name?

Me: The Genocide Machine.

All three make it back to the ship and Bev gets locked up in The Commander's room.

Me: Oh yeah!

Benny makes to sneak back onto the planet and runs into Bev who's escaped.

Me: Bev is like the best part of this audio.

The Commander learns that Bev has left his room and is now in a holding cell on the ship. He complains to The Captain about having locked her in his room herself.

Tim: (as The Commander) I lashed her to the bed and took pictures. See, I posted them on the internet.

Eventually we learn the Bev with Benny is a Rutan agent and there actually is a Bev in the holding cell, the real one.

Me: This is actually bit like The Genocide Machine with the fake versions of characters.

The Sontarans leave their side of the border and go for the planet.

Me: Sontara-ha! Sontara-ha!

We think Benny's been killed but then she shows up on the ship professing not to know The Commander or anything that's just happened.

Me: What the fuck?

It turns into some Sex and the City thing as Bev and Benny bond over booze and memories of the Doctor.

Tim: For those of you confused, the real Benny just happened on the scene. It's a shame they only can refer to him as The Doc.

Me: At least they can do that much.

Angelie: We're listening to a Doctor Who one next, right?

Me: Yeah.

Angelie: Let's hope this one is better than what we just listened to.

The next one in question is Winter For The Adept featuring the Fifth Doctor and Nyssa in a script written by Andrew Cartmel.

Me: Great, another fucking monologue.

Angelie: The weekend of monologues.

Tim and I spend a few minutes reminding Angelie who Andrew Cartmel is, what he looks like, and that we all saw him at Gallifrey this year.

Angelie: I have to pee now.

Me: Might as well go. You're only missing another fucking monologue.

Angelie: But at least this monologue is actually giving some useful information.

Alison yells out to Peril to be careful about the rope. This is when Angelie walks back in and mocks hanging from the ceiling. We learn that Peril is apparently the female version of Scrooge getting left at school during the winter holidays and about to elope. We then shift to Nyssa complaining about the snow, wondering if there's anything worse than snow in the shoes.

Me: A toss up between the last Benny play or Dragon's Wrath.

Peter Jurasik shows up as a local cop on skis to help Nyssa on her way. We go back to Peril and Alison talking about Peril getting married.

Angelie: Where's the Doctor?

Tim: We're like eight minutes in and no Doctor. But we've got a companion and a person who will be a companion.

Me: And Peter Jurasik.

Angelie: As much as Tim and Nicole are trying to convince me of what we do have I'm still missing the Doctor.

Nyssa sees someone coming towards her and the sking Jurasik.

Me: Is it The Doctor?

The person shows up and sadly it's not the Doctor. Some French chick shows up and Tim and I start doing horrible cheese eating surrender monkey accents.

Angelie: I already went wee wee.

Tim: Half of episode one is over and still no Doctor.

The Crazy Scotch woman who opens windows in freezing weather freaks out when all the windows close.

Tim: Oh. Really.

Angelie: They should call Ghost Hunters to debunk it.

Nyssa and the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey maid bust open the cognac.

Tim: That's a good idea.

They smell something that reminds the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Maid of dead horses.

Angelie: (french accent) Oo...my bad...

The Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Maid mentions a poltergeist.

Me: (ala' Heather O'Rourke) They're heeereeeee....

Tim corrects the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Maid on her definition of a poltergeist.

Angelie: Where's the Doctor?

Tim: At least it didn't start with the TARDIS having an accident like seventy-five percent of Davison's stories. Maybe he wasn't available.

News of India Fisher (Peril) planning to elope with Peter Jurasik (Lieutenant Sandoz) brings the crazy Scotch headmistress out of her weird psychosis.

Tim: It's like a William Hartnell story where the Doctor takes a nap for an episode. (as the Doctor) Oh Chesterton, I'm going to lie down on this rock and sleep while the Daleks chase you and Susan around.

More crazy things happen and they all run away from a wardrobe.

Me: Is Aslan trying to get out?

Tim: He could be stuck.

The TARDIS finally shows up.

Tim and Nyssa: Finally!

Alison remarks about touching the TARDIS.

Me: (ala' Katy Perry) I touched the TARDIS and I liked it/Hope my friends don't mind it.

Tim: (ala' Katy Perry) It looked so small but it was really large inside.

Nyssa begins to channel Tegan as she bitches out the Doctor about the TARDIS never going where they plan it to. The Doctor is willing to admit there might be a correlation between the TARDIS arriving and the poltergeist activity.

Tim: Just like there's a correlation between you showing up some place and everyone dying.

Nyssa continues to channel Tegan as she's all pissed about The Doctor wanting to stay and investigate the poltergeist activity.

Peril and Sandoz make out while trying to get the radio to work.

Tim: Hold me closer, tiny dancer.

The Doctor goes back to Nyssa and Alison. Alison wonders if The Doctor has figured everything out yet.

Me: Bitch, he's only been gone for like five minutes! He's not that good. Seriously, I don't remember Nyssa being this bitchy.

Tim: She wasn't. She was a refreshing change from the other companions.

The Doctor and Nyssa go to check out the chapel.

Me: (ala' The Church Lady) The chapel? How convenient! Mm....Satan?

We enter the ever pivotal ham eating sandwhich portion of the audio. Sounds start coming from the music room and they quickly discount it being the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Maid.

Me: Who can't it be now? Who can it be now?

Angelie: Oooo...oh. Who can it? Who can it?

Me: Oooooo...oh, who can it be now?

The piano attacks the Doctor and Nyssa. Then faucets start running in the kitchen. Nyssa worries something worse might happen.

Me: Like Dragon's Wrath?

Nyssa almost gets killed by Sandoz's ski poles and the Doctor fixates on tea as the piano continues to lumber towards them. He spikes the tea, causing Alison to fall asleep and the piano stops its slow murderous path. The Doctor wonders where he puts his bag.

Angelie: (as The Doctor) I'm trying to find my condoms.

The helicopter that's supposed to rescue them gets destroyed, leaving them stranded because no one wants to get into the TARDIS.

The Doctor confirms that the evil is emanating from the chapel. Nyssa continues to whinge and moan ala' Tegan.

Tim: She really is channeling Tegan.

The Doctor busts out the machine that caused the accident that caused Nyssa to end up in the school.

Me: Maybe it'll teleport your personality back.

Peril sings a nursery rhyme about wishing the rain would go away and come back on the washing day.

Me: And bring a better script with you.

Angelie: Because this one smells like poo.

Peril tells her family history.

Me: We have title!

The Doctor points out that Alison is controlling Peril's abilities.

Me: Alison/This world is killing you/Oooo...Alison....my aim is true.

Crazy Scotch woman overhears The Doctor talking about Peril's family's past and decides that Peril's a witch that must be killed. Through crazy circuitous logic Crazy Scotch woman links electric blankets to Satan. Sandoz kills Crazy Scotch woman and Peril gets off a great line about how Crazy Scotch woman won't be able to be killed if she's not dead now.

Things start to go to hell in a handbasket again as trophies fly at The Doctor and the piano starts playing again. The Doctor triggers a post hypnotic suggestion that puts both Alison and Peril to sleep. Sandoz demands to know what's going on.

Me: Dude, have you not been following what's been going on?

Angelie: This reminds me of an X-Files episode.

Tim: "Syzgy".

Episode three ends with a rather crappy cliffhanger of The Doctor suggesting they hold a seance. Sandoz and the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Maid refuse to take part in the seance. Harding Wellman, some English climber lost in an avalanche shows up.

Tim: Do you know why they call me Harding?

Me: Great, he's an effette British ghost.

The seance goes pear shaped rather quickly and everyone runs to the kitchen, including Wellman.

Me: I think I need a chart to follow how Wellman, Alison, and Peril are all connected.

The gestalt leaves Crazy Scotch woman and The Doctor talks to the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Maid. He calls out The Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Maid who's really a scout for the spillagers. The Spilager Formerly Known as The Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey Maid ends up dead and the Doctor convinces Sandoz to help him dispose of her body because they decomp really fast.

Me: Oh, like work.

Sandoz reveals himself as a second spilager scout. Peril starts freaking out.

Me: And you were gonna have sex with that.

Peril gets shot and then the Spilager Formerly Known as Sandoz ends up getting killed in an avalanche. The Doctor ends up saving her life with some bullet eating/tissue repairing poultice. This means bitchy Nyssa has to take part in the seance. We don't see the seance but we assume jiggery pokery occurs as the Spillager Fleet gets killed. Then we get the TARDIS once again not working and Peril taking Harding home to see her parents.

Me: I didn't hate this as much as I've hated the novels that Cartmel wrote for The New Adventures range, but this was still a tad disappointing.

Tim: It would've been much better if Nyssa hadn't sounded like Tegan. It's like he wanted to write for Janet Fielding but couldn't so he just put her in the form of Nyssa.

We return to Benny and The Draconian Rage.

Tim: Draconians are all the rage now. And another villian we only saw once in the original series.

Benny wonders why the Draconians want her.

Tim: You are the lead of this series.

Benny thinks she shouldn't go and calls Brax callous for trying to talk her into it.

Tim: (as Brax) Me? Callous? Never?

Eventually Brax sweet talks her into going to Draconia. As Benny lands and gets a long winded greeting Tim shows Angelie what they look like.

Angelie: And they have rage?

Tim: They're more like the classic series version of the Klingons. They're all into honor and what not.

Angelie: But the disk says they have rage.

Tim: Yeah, I guess they'll have rage later.

Benny gets a level 5 sterilization.

Me: Put your hand in the box!

Benny objects to having her luggage searched.

Tim: (as Draconian) We've seen the Indiana Jones movies.

Tim and Angelie bust out the box for the Malm as Benny goes planetside as the Draconian Emperor gets flattered by some underpants gnome. Draconian Emperor asks Underpants Gnome if he's heard of Shakespeare.

Me: (as Draconian) It loses translation when you take it out of its native Klingon.

Exposition continues between Draconian Emperor and Underpants Gnome. We switch to exposition between Benny and her Draconian Guide about the history of the city and the place of Draconian woman within their society.

Me: Why does he sound like a German?

After some more exposition Benny gets handed off to the Underpants Gnome when she reaches the imperial palace. She begins to cheese off the Underpants Gnome with her usual glib and sarcastic responses.

Me: Again she's being almost too sarcastic for the situation. She knows how the Draconians normally view women and she's pissing the Underpants Gnome off for no discernible reason.

The Emperor interrupts Benny's Former Guide as he's taking a bath. Apparently he's fallen in love with Rubber Ducky which is just kind of wrong.

Benny gets freaked out when she sees a human skull and then gets kidnapped by the Underpants Gnome's guards. She tries to talk her way out of Underpants Gnome's desire to drill into her head. Underpants Gnome mentions he's an agent of the Dark Flame.

Me: We'll be getting to that in the main line in about four years at the rate we're going.

Apparently her guide is also a member of the Dark Flame as he helps shave Benny's head. They begin to drill into her noggin.

Me: That's gonna leave a mark.

She passes out and then reawakens to have them drilling into her noggin again.

Benny's Former Guide goes to see the Emperor.

Me: (as Draconian) I found the nougatty center, Sire.

We get a discussion on how cognac tastes like urine to the Emperor. The Emperor apparently doesn't trust anyone around him. He says he smells treachery on the Underpants Gnome.

Me: That's just Benny's blood.

Angelie: Yep.

Me: For someone that's just had a hole drilled through her head she's rather talkative.

Insert more exposition as Underpants Gnome is apparently not as evil as we thought. He explains the extent of the political intrigue going on the planet and tells Benny she's the only hope to keep the planet from being taken over by the Dark Flame cult.

Me: One thing, she's got a hole in head.

Underpants Gnome tells Benny how she can escape.

Me: She might not remember all those details. That whole hole in the head thing.

Angelie: So Benny's getting rescued by...

Me: See, I can't keep up with who's who. They sound too much alike and their names are way too similar. Hence why I'm calling them Underpants Gnome and Benny's Guide.

Angelie: I think it's the guide trying to save her. That's why she was telling him she was invited by the Emperor.

Me: No, she was telling that to the Underpants Gnome. See what I mean?

Benny ends up with the Emperor and they quarrel over pedantry, the skull, and what she's doing there.

Me: Do you not see the hole in her head?

We enter The Manchurian Candidate as Benny kills the Emperor.

Angelie: They didn't take something out, they put something in.

The Underpants Gnome and Benny's Former Guide pop out of nowhere all excited that Benny's killed the Emperor, confirming what they did to her. Drama goes up to about factor 9 as Benny freaks out about the Dark Flame being in her skull all this time and how it might have affected Peter.

Me: Oh, that's the least of things you should be worried about having messed up Peter.

Benny's Former Guide ends up killing the Underpants Gnome.

Angelie: This is so melodramatic.

The Emperor really isn't dead and they expound on their plan to out the Underpants Gnome.

Tim: War between Draconians and Humans is averted. Ya.

The Emperor ends up killing Benny's Former Guide.

Me: All of a sudden we're in Titus.

Tim: They're going out of their way to painfully make this like a Shakespeare play.

Benny opts not to kill the Emperor again and they both depart hating each other's guts.

Me: That was cruddy.

Angelie: The ending?

Me: The whole thing. I had problems keeping up with the Draconian advisors. The voice actors were too similar and the character names too similar.

Tim: I didn't have that problem. I really wasn't paying attention until they stated torturing Benny. And I was okay with all the Shakespeare stuff going on.

Angelie: (in refernce to Benny being tortured) I didn't like that.

Tim: I guess this has to be an audio because the ending doesn't play well in any other format. I was okay with it.

If you're keeping up with the Benny Drinking Game, "Goddess" was uttered eleven times and "Cruk" once by our count.

Next month will be an all Benny affair as we'll finish off the fourth season.

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Hurricane Ike

2008-09-15T18:30:00.001-05:00

We made it. We're not in Galveston, but if you've been watching the news you know that there was really no where to hide from the storm.

None of us have power. I'm currently hanging out in a trailer my employer has placed in the back of one of our locations.

Obviously I don't know when we'll be up and running again. Lord willing we'll have a sequence for September, but as you can guess us and the rest of Southeast Texas will be focusing on getting things back up and running.

Labor Day Edition

2008-08-31T19:33:00.003-05:00

After gorging ourselves on diet coke and homemade pizza we drop Dance of the Dead in the cd player. It doesn't take long to hear "goddess" uttered and then us to take a sip of Newcastle. I remember that this seems to take place after the Plague Herds of Excelis but since we'd have to listen to the whole series we settle for just being slightly befuddled when Benny complains about Iris.

Matthew Brenher comes onto to the scene as Grand Marshall Sstac and Tim quickly picks up that Brenher was in Red Dawn.

Things start blowing up, Benny keeps uttering "goddess", and we start getting drunk. Benny and Sstac end up accidently inhaling some crystal memories from the Colgarians.

Me: I do that sometimes as well.

Tim and Angelie start doing Ice Warrior impersonations as Azzar and Karter try to fix things on the ship.

Tim: It was much worse in the 60's and 70's. They drew every "s" out then.

Benny talks about digging up Martian tombs but forgets to mention going back to Mars for a conference and reading of xeno-porn. Then they start calling each other different names and things start getting really weird. Apparently the stuff they snorted is manifesting themselves through visions generated by the memories of the Colgarians.

We think Benny said shit and then we do various impersonations of Ice Warriors saying shit. Apparently though Benny is the Fonz as she beats a lift into submission to take them to level 10. But her mojo isn't as good since as soon as they get inside the lift starts acting up again.

Sstac goes back to his Colgarian persona and tries to get Benny to hook up with him. Then Benny gets into the act as well. It seems the Colgarian couple had some issues and were rather dysfunctional. A bitch slap later knocks sense into Benny. Eventually they get out of the lift and have a little heart to heart as they're climbing up the shaft.

Azzar is calling on the hounds of hell to kick some ass for the ship being attacked. Benny and Sstac get on to the bridge and this is where things go all Edward Albee again. Azzar ends up slamming her fist in a console, killing herself.

A crap ass plot twist shows up as we learn Karter is really alive and a thief. He's cleared a way to the shuttles which of course gives Benny and Sstac a way off the ship as it's careening towards a satellite. Benny reminds Karter that he's got some precious jewels between his legs. The shots to the family jewels doesn't completely work though as Sstac ends up going over again to his Colgarian persona and gets shot by Karter. Insert tender moments as Colgarian Benny says goodbye to Colgarian Sstac.

Me: That's kind of a lackluster ending.

Tim just shrugs. I don't know how to feel about the ending. I like how she tried to emotionally connect with the Ice Warrior. Maybe it was just the beer but that was the easiest part to follow, their other relationship.

Next up is The Spectre of Lanyon Moor with Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor and Maggie Stables as Evelyn Smythe. We meet up with Scryfan and Sancreda.

Tim: Sancreda sounds like Sylvester McCoy with a cold.

Sancreda apparently is left behind by Scryfan.

Tim: E.T.! Phone home!

There's a great debate whether going one way for breakfast or the other to check out some ancient tunnels.

Me: He's passing up breakfast?

The Brigadier shows up on the scene.

Me: Ya!!!

The Brig laments the lack of coffee:

Tim: There's no coffee coming if you're expecting the womenfolk to make it. I'm still holding out hope that he'll appear in the show with Tennant.

The Doctor and Evelyn meet up with the upstart archaeologist not named Benny and get an offer of breakfast.

Tim: I'm impressed she's more excited about breakfast than he is.

Professor Morgan is a grumpy old man who's not down with technology in the field of archaeology. The Doctor and Evelyn show up and meet up with The Brig.

Tim: Is the Brigadier fishing for tail?

Me: I think Evelyn is fishing for booty.

Tim: It's ashame this wasn't on tv. This might be the best of these "first meetings" between the Doctor and the Brigadier.

Evelyn begs for breakfast as the Doctor wants her to help with research.

Me: Damn, she's all about breakfast.

Ludgate asks if he can get the Doctor and the Brigadier anything before he leaves.

Tim:(as the Doctor) Breakfast? The Doctor isn't used to anyone being so good at research since Sarah Jane. I'm liking Colin Baker as the Doctor much better in the audios than on the TV. Maybe it's because I'm not distracted by his coat. And probably because he's got a companion he's not bickering with. Not that Peri was dumb, but with Evelyn he's got someone that's just as interested in history as he is.

Evelyn makes a new friend who ends up getting eaten by what sounds like a bunch of gremlins. She's recovering back at the institute and Ludgate offers to get her some tea. She asks for hot chocolate.

Me: (as Evelyn) And some biscuits?

The Doctor bitches out Professor Morgan and then Evelyn makes him apologize. He proceeds to suck up to Morgan asking for his expertise as an archaeologist.

Me: Because he doesn't have Benny handy.

Tim: He hasn't met Riversong yet.

Evelyn makes the world's worst cat burglar as she gets busted by Sir Flint after sneaking back into his home. Then we get the baddie giving exposition section of the audio as he explains why he's doing what he's doing. Evelyn's not the greatest prisoner as all the she can toss back is that Flint is nuts. Eventually Evelyn escapes and meets up with Ludgate. She goes through a series of things that Flint has done to her.

Me: She can't do the list of horrible things to have happened to her like Lisa can as Benny.

Meanwhile the Doctor and the Brigadier are trying to stop Morgan's housekeeper who's being controlled by the gremlins.

Evelyn and Ludgate go back to Flint's house and my lightbulb goes on just before Evelyn's does regarding Ludgate working for Flint.

Morgan's housekeeper, Moynihan, releases Sancreda. He talks about getting revenge after 18,000 years.

Me: That's some serious amount of hate and discontent built up.

The hate and discontent proves to be wasted as we learn that Sancreda actually killed Scryfan 18,000 years ago. The Brigadier proves once again how much of a man he is by taking Sancreda on mano e mano. Honestly, the Brigadier is the man's man.

From Classic Who's Man Man we move to Benny and her own Man's Man, Jason Kane who are joined by Brax and Adrian in the season three finale The Mirror Effect.

Me: Let the mind cruk begin!

We're dropped into the middle of the action as Jason and Benny emerge through a mirror. We also learn that Benny might have a taste for SM as she notes with a bit of glee the architecture. Brax and Adrian arrive at some other place, also taking Jason's name in vain. It doesn't take them long to find the first body.

Benny and Jason have a fight over whether or not Jason should touch things and whether or not he's her sidekick. Benny then fires up a console.

Me: So it's okay for Benny just to randomly touch shit but not Jason?

Tim: She's a professional random...button...toucher.

Brax and Adrian recover some logs that show that something nasty happened at the site. Meanwhile Dr. Carnivel attacks Jason and Benny only stopping when Carnivel draws blood. Then insert some classic Benny/Jason comedy as she backhand thanks him for saving her and then jabs at him while asserting her position of authority in pricking Jason to Carnivel. Add in a dash of exposition as Carnivel explains that Benny and Jason were actually leading an expedition that Carnivel was a part of but that Benny and Jason don't remember.

Mirror Benny shows up starts accussing Brax of engineering her getting knocked up by Adrian to use Peter in the Collection. Adrian arrives to shatter Mirror Benny. They try to race down into the planet to save Benny and Jason.

Meanwhile Benny is about to do something stupid and go through the mirror again, against Jason's advice. Carnivel ends up pushing Benny through the mirror and Adrian arrives, jumping through it. Jason admits to being scared and not trusting what's on the other side of the mirror.

Me: Jason's thinking smart.

Tim: Yep.

Jason gets the brush off from Brax regarding any past experience Brax has had with the mirror. He then hears Mirror Benny crying out for him and he rushes to her. He gets a bit of wish fullfillment as Mirror Benny tells him that she loves him, that Peter is a part of him. They kiss a few times until she morphs into Adrian. Insert fight scene ala' Amok Time until Jason destroys Mirror Adrian via his anger. Carnivel arrives all impressed with his use of the force. Then Jason gets all nine kinds of dead sexy vocally as he asks Carnivel if Benny has really told her just how much they love each other.

Tim: (as Jason) Did she tell you about how we got married and had all these Doctor Who characters as our guests?

Jason slowly slips into madness as he reasons that the only way to fix things is to blow the mirror up. He'd rather kill Benny then let her live and possibly hook up with Adrian.

Me: Here's Johnny!

Benny is on the run and ends up facing four mirrors, Mirror Jason, and another Mirror Adrian. Mirror Jason tells Benny how much he needs her and Mirror Adrian says she should be with him since he's the father of her baby. Both ask for a kiss.

Me: Seriously, Jason is downright sexy at this point. (looks at Tim) It's a girl thing, okay! You guys get your companions and Benny. Until Jason all I had was Adric, Harry Sullivan, and Turlough.

Tim: (As Heamavores) Everyone wants to come into the mirror.

Benny eventually finds her mirror self and learns what's going on. Brax is busy espousing to Carnivel why he cares about Benny and not Jason or Adrian. Carnivel calls him "Cardinal Braxiatel". After destroying Carnivel Brax decides to save Jason.

Adrian wakes up to a mirror version of himself showing up.

Tim: It's pop up video.

Jason figures it all out regarding Brax's dark nature. Jason reminds him he was off in the alternate dimension after Dellah was destroyed so he wasn't there when Brax set up the Collection. Realising he's been rumbled Brax hypnotises Jason into forgetting the last few minutes and to suffer migraines if he gives any serious thought to Brax's ulterior motives. It works but Jason is still intent on destroying to mirror to let Benny and Adrian stay together.

Me: He probably should've added a bit about forgetting about Benny and Adrian.

Benny is trying to convince Mirror Benny not to impregnate her by noting it's not cricket.

Tim: Rape: It's just not cricket.

Brax is still trying to talk Jason out of blowing up the mirror.

Tim: (as Brax) I'm not a nice man.

Jason utters a "goddess" as Benny gets knocked up by Mirror Benny.

Me: Is that a double drink for the Benny drinking game?

Tim: I don't know. I guess.

Brax says they have to do something to save Benny and Jason takes this to mean he should arm the explosives. Tim finishes up the announcement by the explosives that they have five minutes to get away.

Me: That might be the nicest explosives announcement I've ever heard.

Jason gets his first migraine as Brax and Adrian rescue Benny from the mirror. Brax challenges Dr. Phil as he talks sense into Benny regarding where she belongs. They barely make it back to the Collection via another mirror where Jason promptly collapses due to his Brax induced migraine.

Tim: That was one big mind fuck of an audio play.

Me: As as friend once said in regards to Memento "This is fucked up as a soup sandwich on a rainy day."

Tim: Strangely enough I was able to follow that one easier than the others. If David Lynch directed a Benny play this is what you'd get.

Me: Amazing performances all the way around, with Harry Myers and Stephen Fewell really getting a chance to do something a bit different as their mirror selves. We get the beginning of the Dark Brax storyline which gets mined for years to come. This is probably the first audio since Just War that shows just how complex and far reaching Benny audios can be.

Look, here's some stuff we're pimping. It's gotta go somewhere so why not at the end this time for something different? Did you watch the olympics? Are you wondering how London can top China for the opening ceremonies in 2012? Someone has come up with an option. David Tennant lighting the cauldron dressed as the Doctor. Check out the petition here .

A trailer is up for episode three of the ninth season of Benny, The Adventure of the Diogenes Damsel.

Wil Wheaton is the man. Not only does he speak wisdom when he says you shouldn't be a dick, but he's done reviews of the first half of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes over at TV Squad. He also got an awesome black velvet painting of Wesley Crusher which you can see at his website. No seriously, I can't make this shit up.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Brax...

2008-08-18T19:48:00.002-05:00

...was not written by me. Someone going by the handle of Lizbee on livejournal has done an awesome job of making sense of Brax's timeline here. Check the entire blog out, it's pretty darn good. Not only do they like Brax but they write pretty decent Doctor Who fanfiction and even a story involving Benny. If you like it a lot vote for it here.

You might've noticed we've got a cute little logo now. Thanks to Bob #3 for putting this together. Not bad for his first time using some program called Gimp. It's in its infancy though so expect it to change another time or two as we work towards what I really would love to have for a logo. But for now gaze lovingly at our cute first logo.

Not so cute is an ugly button you might've noticed asking you to be a part of my blog network on Facebook. The button was kind of nasty to begin with and then I made it less nasty through trial and error with code. It is clear though that the year I spent dating a computer programmer in college didn't teach me anything in that department. Ignore its nastiness though and embrace its message. Join us on Blog Networks on Facebook and help further my aim for world domination.

Big Finish has their own forums up and running. That seems to be the place where you can chat with your favorite Big Finish folks like Barnaby Edwards and talk all things audio in nature.

We're still on target for a full session on the 31st of August so tune back later that evening. That's the beginning of a week of vacation so I'm trying to do a Sapphire and Steel session and maybe some more solo stuff.

All Things Stephen

2008-07-27T19:09:00.002-05:00

Happy belated birthday to us!

No one ever accused us of being punctual, so we're finally celebrating our one year anniversary a month after the fact. We started the afternoon off with some nice ribeye steaks from the local grocery store and Curve Ball beer from Pyramid, the makers of apricot hefeweizen so fine that it was declared "apricotty!" by Rob Shearman. Curve Ball is a seasonal kolsch style ale with herbal tones in the brew. One of the few beers that Tim and I can both agree on being a rather tasty brew.

That massive squeeing sound you might've heard nearly a month ago was probably from me as the latest round of guests for Chicago TARDIS was announced. Time Team favorites Lisa Bowerman and Simon Guerrier were announced along with long time authors Kate Orman and Jon Blum are now confirmed for Chicago. They join Paul Cornell, Lis Sladen, Colin Baker, Nick Briggs, Jason Haigh-Ellery and Gary Russell Thanksgiving weekend. Not that any of my loyal 30 were waiting on pins and needles, but I'm attending Chicago putting the band back together with Dan and John.

And don't forget to get your tickets for Gallifrey 20 in February. Tickets are currently $45 and I think go up at the end of the month. Along with the whole Time Team about half the active membership of the local Houston Who group we're a part of will also be there.

You can read about Simon Guerrier creating a new audio friend for Doctor Who here and check out some podcasts wtih Paul Cornell here and here.

With the pimping and digesting of steak out of the way we put our first audio in, The Greatest Shop in the Galax y, the season three premiere for the Benny series.

Tim: We've made if that far already?

Me: Yep.

Benny lodges a diary entry talking about her archaelogy/shoe expedition and spending Adrian's money on things for the baby.

Angelie: (eyes raised wide) Baby?

I pause the audio and give a rundown of how Benny's body got knocked up by Adrian while it was inhabited by a god.

We get introduced to Joggon who's apparently the reincarnated form of Daffy Duck as he's spraying spittle all over the place.

Tim: Say it, don't spray it. At least we're not complaining about sound design.

Benny encounters a Lara Croft style display for selling her books and then realizes she probably needs a book on the local latrines so she can appear to be an expert on the local latrines. In between dealing with Adrian's spiteful credit card she has to fend off the advances of her local host and all leather cow shoes coming back to life.

Me: The ever riveting Benny shoe fetish sequence. Seriously, before this I never knew Benny was a descendent of Imelda Marcos.

Customers start getting killed by the Borvali as if the Borvali are trying to get the last Cabbagge Patch kid.

Angelie: That's what Benny gets for not going to Payless for her shoes.

Then we switch to Joggon having some spittle laden orgasm over things going pear shaped.

Borvali keep on killing people and time begins to go all wibbley wobbley as Benny and Keelor end up back in time, meeting Keelor's grandfather. They survive a Borvali attack and end up in the Borvali grocery store that serves humans in various flavors. Benny starts smacking Keelor as he explains the extent to which capitalism is employed. The extent of Keelor's greed is exposed as we learn he's working with Joggon to do an old school hostile takeover of the Gigamarket.

Benny's mothering instincts kick in as she saves a Borvali child. She then slaps Tarband around as she talks him out of killing the child. Apparently Tarband gets off on being slapped around by women as he mentions he might get to like her.

Me: Isn't this like a first season episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation?

Tim: Yeah, it's a bit like a mix between "Yesterday's Enterprise" and "We'll Always Have Paris".

They all keep blowing up as time keeps repeating itself.

Tim: They also put in Groundhog Day.

Benny goes all medieval on the computer complaining about how all she wanted was some shoes to make her feel like a woman. Joggon eventually gets way too happy over the stock market and presumably dies from sensory overload.

Tim: Definitely not a pleasant sound.

Me: Well, we didn't complain once about sound design.

Anglie: No. It was very quick paced.

Tim: We could actually hear what was going on even though it was a bit confusing involving confusing time travel. It didn't drag anywhere.

Angelie: Nope.

After a discussion of whether or not we should go on an ice cream run we move on to Red Dawn, the beginning of the All Things Stephen portion of our belated first anniversary celebration with the return of Stephen Fewell, this time as the villian in this 5th Doctor and Peri adventure. Also showing up is Georgia Moffatt, known to Classic Who fans as the Doctor's Daughter and to New Who fans as The Doctor's Daughter. Also known to New Who fans as the Doctor's Girlfriend, not to be confused with Doctor Girlfriend.

Tim: Seriously? Isn't that kind of incestous?

Me: It is kind of Tom Bakerish.

We quickly encounter the first of many instances of poor casting by Big Finish when it comes to American accents. Peri actually gets to show off her botanical knowledge and that she's learned something along the way.

Tim: At least they mention the American space program as opposed to creating a fake British one like they did during the Pertwee years.

Things happen and eventually the Doctor meets up with the NASA gang.

Tim: Did I miss them getting together?

Me: It happened like two mintues ago.

Tim: And there was no conversation going "Wow! We didn't expect to find any humans on Mars."?

Me: Nope.

We get a stereotypical cliffhanger as it finally dawns on the Doctor they they're gonna run into Ice Warriors on Mars.

Tim: That went by fast.

Me: How often do you hear about Peri being right?

The body count begins as the Ice Warriors shoot the pilot.

Tim: Nice. They used the original sound effect.

The Ice Warriors realize that maybe shooting the pilot was a bad idea and ask that she be brought to some place to heal her.

Me: (as Ice Warrior) And I've heard earth girls are easy.

It takes forever for the pilot to die. Meanwhile Paul screws things up as he takes an Ice Warrior hostage.

Me: The Doctor probably should've called about the ice warrior coming over before he left to go to the NASA craft to fetch Peri.

We get towards the end of the second episode and finally start to get a reason for Webster's actions. Apparently his father's corporation wants to create a breed of Earth Warriors.

Tim: With clamps for hands?

Me: Would that mean they'd drag out the "th" sound?

After smacking Peri around Webster gets the NASA vessel to launch. Which pisses the ice warriors off and they fire missles at the vessel. Earth Girls do it for themselves as they try to take control of the situation, Peri unties the ice warrior and Tanya tries to evade the missles. Missles aren't evaded but Webster is knocked out allowing a moment of peace in the craft which is good since they now have to reland without crashing.

Webster regains consciousness and picks up where he left off, pissing the ice warriors off. One bomb placed near a dead ice warrior's head later and Webster along with Tanya and the Doctor are making a run for the border. Insert some prattling by Webster about placing the metal by the Doctor's chin and threatening to blow his head off.

Me: That's a rather shitty cliffhanger.

Tim: Next time I'll use the real batteries.

Tim figures out what's going on with Tanya about 3 minutes before she does. Insert long winded ice warrior conversations that involve them reading from the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition and The Art of War. The head ice warrior offers himself for the Doctor. Then we get a history lesson on the Brookings Report.

With about ten minutes left we finally get title.

Tim: Look! There's Jennifer Grey.

The head ice warrior ends up dying via the title and that lets the ice warriors drop what sounds like a nuclear bomb on top of Webster.

Me: As good as The Whispers of Terror was by Justin Richards, this is pretty much crap ala' Dragon's Wrath. Honestly, did he blow his wad on The Whispers of Terror? Nicola Bryant really does nothing in this audio that couldn't been given to another character. Fewell, Jezek, and Moffatt do what they can to rise above the script, but when you're given crap there's only so much you can do. Especially Fewell who towards the end is saddled with your stereotypical psychotic villian who basically gets done in by his own lack of morals. Overall a bit of a step back when you compare this to the previous two audios, The Genocide Machines and The Marian Conspiracy.

Tim: I don't think it's that terrible. It started out pretty good and then it just dragged towards the end. I think I liked the first three episodes. They used the Ice Warriors fairly well. They're more interesting in this than in the two Pertwee episodes they appear in. Plus there was no shrill sentient one eyed pickle.

It's on to the second half of the Stephen Fewell double feature as we put on The Green Eyed Monsters, the return of Jason Kane to the audios, not having heard from him since Just War. For those that are interested an early version of the script is up for perusal on Dave Stone's website.

The second season theme returns until Dave Stone messes with the fourth wall and reveals that Benny is listening to a recording to the theme wondering what she was thinking. Benny's trying to record a new diary for Peter until the interruptions begin. Not only does Stephen Fewell return, but Harry Myers does as well as Adrian, who creates a reason to see Benny and give Peter a rather sad fluffy rabbit. Jason shows up and we hit testosterone factor 10 as Jason and Adrian try to become the alpha male in Benny's life. Benny gives them the chance when she gets an offer to investigate and authenticate various artefacts and totems on Goronos IV. She jumps at the chance, dumping Peter off with Jason and Adrian.

Much laughter ensues in the living room as we get the first scene of Jason and Adrian trying to take care of Peter. Then we get background on the Goronos System and an explanation why Benny needs to identify and authenticate certain artefacts and totems. Only Dave Stone would think to pull off a visual gag in the audio medium involving a diaper and make slingblade-esque twins lovable.

Jason tempts fate by mentioning how they've managed to take care of the baby. Murphy's Law steps in when gunmen storm into the room, shoot Jason and Adrian, and steal Peter. Meanwhile Benny is discovering that the artefacts and totems she's investigating are all fake. Lady Ashantra shows Benny that she's got Peter and uses him as leverage for Benny to validate the artefacts and totems.

Angelie: What a bitch!

Tim: She's a big bitch. The biggest bitch in the whole wide world.

Jason throws his weight around to get Peter returned in one piece. Then he throws it around some more to get the Corvette of battle cruisers. We get a tender moment as Jason and Adrian share why they're still pining away for Benny. The day is eventually saved and we some more of Dave Stone messing with things as Benny has to referee Jason and Adrian all through the end credits.

Me: As I've said before, the audio medium is perfect for Dave Stone. It allows him to do his thing without having a broad enough canvas to confuse the audience. And being from the New Adventures era of things along with the creator of Jason he's got an ear for their dynamic and how each character would react. It's definitely nice to see Fewell back who easily slips back into the role of Jason and picks up where he left off without really missing a beat. Same for Harry Myers who gets some nice work to do as Adrian.

We'll return next month with The Spectre of Lanyon Moor, Dance of the Dead, and The Mirror Effect.

Side Trip - U.N.I.T: "Time Heals"

2008-06-22T11:46:00.001-05:00

See, I told you I'd put something up one way or the other. I haven't given up hope for a Sapphire and Steel segment, but U.N.I.T's better than nothing. Nothing exotic in the way of food or drink this morning. Just some coffee and waffles. I guess I should be responsible and say it's because it's way too early to drink but really I just didn't go out and buy any beer last night.

As a reminder, Gallifrey 20 is currently taking early registration for the con that happens next February 13th thru the 15th. You might think I'm pointing out the obvious, but some people apparently still didn't know that the paypal link was up and running. No new guest announcements outside of the original release.

Speaking of conventions Chicago TARDIS has added Lis Sladen to its lineup. Or as a generation of male Who fans call her, "Sweet, Sweet Sarah Jane".

The first episode of Benny season 9, "Beyond the Sea", has been released. Also up is the cover for the third audio with guest star David Warner as Mycroft Holmes.

Well, some of you may remember that I did a side trip involing "The Coup" late last year. To bring you up to speed U.N.I.T narrowly avoided getting folded into some new alien fighting deal when The Brig showed the world that indeed aliens are coming to bring peace, love and moist towelettes. You might also remember that I wasn't all that impressed but that I couldn't make up my mind whether it was the writing or the acting. But some guy thought it was neat enough to translate the post into German so it's all good.

"Time Heals" opens with the ever riveting press conference where Colonel Chaudhry is trying to convince the public that the transport of nuclear weapons is actually safe. And of course it all goes pear shaped in a manner of seconds after she's told the public it's safe. Michael Hobbs returns as Francis Currie and I'm sure soon enough U.N.I.T is going to want to rough him up like ISIS did in "The Coup". A quick trip to the scene finds that all the men are knocked out, the CO is missing, and to top it off an alien spaceship has gone missing along with the CO.

Now why the public relations officer for U.N.I.T is second in charge is a bit of a mystery to me. That would be like making CJ Cregg Chief of Staff.... Oh wait, they did that too. Nevermind that rant. U.N.I.T starts to go all CSI for a moment and then Chaudhry complains about having to report to the government and wonders if the day could get any worse. Clearly no one has taught her about Murphy's Law as we then hear a train get attacked.

Ya!!! It's Nick Courtney as The Brigadier as he's trying to enjoy his retirement. No such luck as the phone rings and The Brig has lost some time apparently.

In another story entirely we get some scientists wondering if they've tampered in God's domain. Well, at least the lead scientist is wondering about tampering in God's domain while his assistant is too busy sucking up to him.

It looks like Currie is the only reporter in the whole of the UK. And he's not a very good one as his opening monologue is full of cliches and melodrama. Insert laughter as Chaudhry calls him a responsible journalist. Then insert more cliches as Chaudhry and her underpants gnome complain about journalists being sharks.

Back to the scientists who not only can't believe it's not butter but can't believe they're allowed to play around on a space ship.

U.N.I.T is apparently a bunch of wusses as they need to wear masks as they walk around the numerous corpses. Time has gone all wibbley wobbley as watches stopped after the crash and one of the trains is a good forty miles from where it should've been.

I understand from a budget standpoint the need for small casts, but from a listening standpoint it's a bit of bother as we're stuck listening to numerous one-sided phone conversations or bits with the Brig yelling at the TV. Chaudhry spouts more cliches about government officials and one has to wonder if that's the only way she can talk. Surely one needs a big vocabulary and decent grasp of language to be a press officer. Sadly I haven't seen any of that from Chaudhry yet.

The scientists mess with God's domain again as they use the technology from the stolen space ship to create their own transporter. They create another bit of timey whimey wibbly wobbly this time with all the ATM's spitting out money for no good reason. While rescuing some cops Chaudhry meets up with her new CO, a Colonel Dalton who complains in cliches just like Chaudhry. Apparently they teach British military officers this. Or more likely the writing for this audio is crap.

More bits with the U.N.I.T gang being squemish around the corpses as they've got all bits of stuff welded into their bodies. Man I never see stuff as fun as this at work. We get a odd bit of boy/girl talk as Chaudhry and Hoffman talk about their dating plans or lack thereof. Good to know they're focused on the matter at hand.

Speaking of getting laid the scientists complain about not getting any because they're nerds. Clearly they haven't hung around Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking. Then the young one convinces the old one to continue the experiments.

More disasters, more bits with The Brig talking to himself, and more bits with Chaudhry being bitchy to Dalton before we get more bits with Currie being all melodramatic. You've got Nick Courtney but you can't be bothered to put him into a scene with anyone? Whinge and you shall receive as we get at least a phone conversation between The Brig and Chaudhry.

ISIS is still apparently around as young scientist has been working for them and spying on old scientist. U.N.I.T makes it to their lab while another bit of U.N.I.T gets diverted to where a nuclear sub is about to go tits up. Dalton is clearly not a member of Green Peace as he suggests sending the sub out to sea. Back with old scientist dude and apparently the direction was to play the scene bland on his part as he decides to go up in flames in the remnants of his lab after giving U.N.I.T a parting gift.

A cheap bit of deus ex machina as the sub just happened to have a little research vessel that allowed Dalton to survive sinking the nuclear sub. His tagline quickly becomes how it's easier to get shot in Syria than serve in U.N.I.T.

Sadly a great concept but a bit of a crap script that's supposed to be the beginning of a four part series. Horrible use of the cast, especially Nick Courtney. You've got an icon within the world of Who and you relegate him to acting with himself. Also the knowledge that they had a small cast somehow became a hinderance for the writers, Iain McLaughlin and Claire Bartlett. Way too much usage of phone conversations and soliliquays to get around the lack of people. The Bernice Summerfield series has proven time and again how you can do an expansive story with just four people. Which of course makes this audio all the more sadder to listen to because Big Finish had a proven track record of doing things on a grand scale with a small base.

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Happy Birthday To Us!

2008-06-21T15:12:00.004-05:00

I'd keep singing but I'm sure there's someone trolling the net for the two old battle axes who own the rights to the song looking for the next person to sue.

Anyway, we're a year old today. Even though it's only been a year we've come a bit of a way since that first night we suffered through Sirens of Time. We've eaten turkey, done special editions, and managed to do one at Gallifrey.

And along the way we've discovered that people that aren't our friends or related to us read this cute adorable little blog. We can't thank you enough for sticking around and following us in our less than frequent gatherings.

I'm desperately trying to get something together this weekend to properly celebrate. I really wanted to commemorate our one year anniversary with the Stephen Fewell double feature, but for like the third time my little plan is getting pushed back. (At least I held off on buying the steaks.) That looks like it'll happen in July now, with any luck.

Never fear though. There's a teeny tiny chance I might get the Sapphire and Steel team back together tomorrow. Stay tuned to this same bat time and same bat channel tomorrow if that does happen.

Oh hell, let's be honest. One way or the other there's gonna be a Time Team post up here by the end of the day tomorrow. I wanted to celebrate with the others, but if I have to go it alone I shall, probably with the UNIT series.

Either way, once again thanks from the bottom of our hearts for supporting us. We wouldn't be doing this if we didn't feel the love.

Did You Miss Us?

2008-05-31T21:50:00.002-05:00

We certainly missed you. But we get this month's installment in which means my grand and glorious listening plan for next month's one year anniversary are still rolling. Tim and I go for a little adventure and try one of the many Chinese restaurants in my neighborhood, Jackie Tan's. (Seriously, that's what the place is called.) Curry chicken was okay but the fried pork dumplings were a bit odd. We wash our food down with Sapporo beer.

I've been a tad remiss in my self appointed pimping duties so I'll just knock that out of the way.

Big Finish has announced details on Season 9 of Benny. The first two audios have artwork and trailers up for your perusal. It looks like in lieu of Ben Aaronovitch's Young Benny book we'll be getting a novella involving Benny's adventures with vampires during her lifetime. Not many details regarding the book outside of a title and
the three authors contributing pieces.

Also on the Big Finish front it looks like they're having a summer sale. The link is on top of the section on their website that lists their different ranges.

A couple of months ago Paul Cornell was interviewed at length by the folks at Geek Syndicate. Only a month ago Simon Guerrier was interviewed by Sin Deniz. (And bless you sir for suggesting Bach.)

Miles Richardson pwns me.

No, really.

If you're not on Facebook get on there and join the Big Finish Audio group. He's posted some awesome comments to The Wall of the page and then some equally great photos. One is him with a midget. Those of you that've known me for a long time know of my love for all things midget in nature. This is why he pwns me. Well, that and also a sweet photo of him as a Draconian. Oh yeah, and that whole he's a pretty damn fine actor thing.

Speaking of which we're on Facebook as well in group form. No reposting of sessions there, but I hope that becomes a place for discussion regarding the audios with our loyal readership.

And speaking of Miles Richardson pwning me, not only does he do so on Facebook but we get a extra dose of pwning as our first audio, The Extinction Event is his introductory one as Irving Braxiatel. But first we have to get through a slightly dodgy teaser where something happens to some people somewhere. For once we can't decide if our inability to figure out what's going on is due to another craptastic outing in sound design by Toby Richards or if my home theater system is acting up.

The opening music starts and it looks like they've dropped the lyrics, but the opening is still long.

Tim: What's the point of this if they're not going to shorten it? Maybe they're gonna do the lyrics at the end?

Wow! For once Benny is actually doing a bit of archeology. Or at least being fawned over by a worker who probably has posters of her hanging on his wall. And for someone that's normally digging in dirt she's a bit preoccupied with being clean.

Brax shows up in his own private shuttle and brings the exposition with him as we get the background on an item that's caught his attention. They hop into his shuttle and we decide to blame Toby again for the sound being so bad.

The shuttle lands and Benny begins to debunk the auction items. Brax seems to be sporting a woody as he talks about his stamp collection. Plans are made to skulk about later on.

Me: I doubt Benny is capable of being discreet.

And sure enough Benny stumbles upon an attempted murder of the Ambassador. Brax recognizes the murder weapon as a cube of radiation and asks Benny to hold it.

Tim: It's full of radiation but don't worry.

We get an odd bit with an alien who speaks gibberish that only the auction house woman and Brax can translate.

Me: Did they not want to pay for another actor?

Speaking of which we get another in story reason for Lisa Bowerman voicing another character as the dude that tried to kill the Ambassador says Benny sounds like his dead lost love. He speaks of alien abduction and anal probes until he gets stunned for an hour.

Me: Is Benny trying to invoke the Shadow Proclamation to save Anal Probe Dude?

Tim: Could be.

While Benny is discovering potential war atrocities Brax is acting like Switzerland as he sets up a deal to purchase the Halstead artifacts.

Me: Oh joy, more exposition and conjecture.

The trick with having a character who doesn't speak English gets old really fast. It's nice for a one-off character, but for a character that's a major part of the plot it's insane.

Tim: Let me recap your order, double cheesebruger...

Benny explains to Hulver the reasons for the Collection and the noble reasons why they want his items.

Me: Oh naive Benny...

Tim: Isn't Hulver a middle eastern dessert?

Hulver composes some music.

Tim: He's composing the music that Spock plays in the worst episode of Star Trek? The Enterprise versus the Space hippies?

Benny gets arrested, again. Brax only really cares about getting items for his collection, again. Nice bit of tension as Benny and Brax argue over ethics.

Me: Oh naive Benny.

Tim: So if they kill the Ambassador we don't have to listen to him, right? Stop gurgling!

The Ambassador finally speaks English as we get more exposition and explanation. And we think he's busting out f-bombs every other word as we get lots of "expleted" in his dialogue.

Me: Dave Stone makes this work better in The End of the World.

Things go all Total Recall when a huge window/forcefield is destroyed letting the apparently deadly atmosphere in.

Me: This might be the most sedate fight sequence I've ever heard.

Tim: There was a fight?

All's well that ends well as people are dead, worlds are avenged, auction houses don't get their money, and Brax gets his newest Collection pieces.

Tim: The Ambassador isn't expleted happy.

Brax tells Benny she's a good person and Benny wonders if that's all.

Me: According to your Ursu code it is.

Then we get like the Love Theme from The Extinction Event as we're treated to a harp solo.

Tim: This is like the deleted scene from Dune with Patrick Stewart and his huge instrument.

Me: Can someone turn the Ottmar Liebert off?

End credits roll.

Tim: I was right! Lyrics at the end.

Not much for Miles to really do in this Lance Parkin piece, but what he does get he makes the most of it. The interplay between he and Lisa is the only thing really worthwhile about this audio. A lackluster story made so by way too many sequences of people just standing around and talking.

We determine that Tim was thinking of halva as we switch disks and slip in The Genocide Machine with Sylvester McCoy and Sophie Aldred, written by Mike Tucker. Insert sound of drums tapping here. I get all excited as we hear Louse Faulkner as I had forgotten that this was the introductory audio for Bev Tarrant. And she immediately starts verbally kicking ass.

Tim immediately picks out the Dalek heartbeat.

Me: The Doctor keeps his bookshelves like I do.

Ace wonders what to do with his copy of Bleak House.

Me: Burn it!

After we hear Ace whinge and moan a bit we hear the Daleks/Nick Briggs for the first time. Then we go back to whinging and moaning, this time from the guy working with Bev. Bev's team gets attacked and we get more action than we got in all of The Extinction Event. From the myriad of sound effects in the battle sequence we can tell which series got the quality sound design guys and who got the crap (Toby Richards) one.

We return to Ace whinging and moaning about getting wet.

Me: Is it her time of the month?

Tim: Well, the TARDIS is always in a state of temporal grace. She could be at the time of the month for a long time.

Ace continues to be crabby even after The Doctor gets them to the library. We think it's awesome that they consider The Sun and The Mirror to be classics of the 20th century. The Doctor finds that he's not in trouble, but has managed to get the Head Librarian's underpants gnome in trouble for not noticing the missing books.

Me: Because no one gives a damn about the Alpha Centuarians.

We get what will turn out to be a rare moment of emotion and regret from Bev as she mourns her dead team.

Me: So the Chief Librarian is that dude from that Twilight Zone episode and he runs his library like the BBC in the 70's?

Ghost like voices start to emanate from Bev's dead team and Tim and I do our best "remember the tooth" bits.

Me: This music is very reminiscent of Mark Ayers' era music. At least too me.

Tim: Not enough percussion.

While Ace is rescuing Bev The Doctor is getting all anoraky over the library's wet work data system. The Chief Librarian shows The Doctor a data chair and Tim and I don't get a good feeling as to how this will end.

Tim: (Dalek Voice) We're about to enter the cliffhanger, Doctor!

Ace and Bev make their way back to the Library. Bev whinges and moans about having to climb the mountain since she can't see The Library.

Me: (singing) Climb every mountain!

It takes them less time to climb this mountain than Frodo and Sam do in climbing Mount Doom in the film version of The Return of the King, where they promptly find the Daleks.

Tim: The cliffhanger didn't end quite the way I expected. I was actually expecting them to come out as they were introduced by The Librarian. That would've been predictable. So sorry.

Eventually the Chief Librarian has his turn to whinge and moan as he worries that his underpants gnome is gonna screw around when he should be working. He also bitches and moans about the rain.

Me: bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan. Everyone is just crabby in this episode. Nice, Sylv was able to roll the first 'r' in 'stretcher'.

The Doctor finds Ace and Bev unconscious in the forests and brings them back to The Library.

The real Ace is the prisoner of the Daleks. Ace mentions special weapons and we get excited as we think she might be referring to Special Weapons Dalek. We also can determine when it's either Nick Briggs or Alistair Lock doing the Dalek Voices.

Me: The Dalek said penetrate.

Tim: They do that a lot.

Me: Penetrate?

Tim: Duplicate people. It's like when they can't think of anything else they just duplicate people.

Ace boasts how well The Doctor knows her and won't fall for the Fake Ace.

Me: Umm...how well does he know you?

Tim: I'm sure he will but probably not until episode three.

It takes a while, but The Doctor figures out Ace is a duplicate.

Tim: Well, that happened faster than I thought it would.

Thanks to The Chief Librarian being old and slow The Doctor doesn't make it to the Library in time to stop the Daleks from taking control of it. The Chief Librarian starts freaking out about that thought of the Daleks in the Library.

Me: Is that like Klingons on the starboard bow?

We get the obligatory sequence of the Daleks killing everyone in sight and screaming "exterminate".

Me: Did he just say Skaro?

Tim: He said he'd contact Skaro. Whoever is left there. Maybe it's Skaro 2. Or before Remembrance of the Daleks as far as the Dalek timeline is concerned.

Bev encounters Fake Ace and notes she should pick her friends more carefully in the future.

Me: Oh, Bev, she's not the worse choice you make in the friend department.

The Daleks learn it wasn't such a good idea to try and get at the Library's data without The Doctor as one of their own experiences premature extermination through the interface with the wet work system. They manage to capture The Doctor which leads to another classic confrontation between him and the Daleks. The Chief Librarian gets dragged to the wet work store. He starts whinging and moaning about not being a competent technician and calls upon his underpants gnome to speak up.

Tim: Is that like Radio Shack?

The Doctor lets himself get hooked into the wet work store. The data begins to flow regularly.

Tim: It's important to have a steady data flow. If your data flow isn't see your doctor.

We get another tender moment for Bev as we learn the bloke whinging and moaning on her crew at the beginning of the audio whinged and moaned with her for more pleasurable reasons. Tender moments continue as she encounters the animated corpse of her dead lover.

The Dalek who couldn't handle his data stream keeps running around and keeps sounding like he's enjoying the world's longest orgasm. We try to figure out if this one is being voiced by Sylv. Special Weapons Dalek shows up and is apparently a prima donna, actually refusing to kill someone.

Speaking of killing, The Doctor returns to his body and he's all nine kinds of pissed at the Chief Librarian. Sylv is at his best when he's playing The Doctor being nine kinds of pissed. The Daleks and The Doctor cut off the Chief Librarian's explanation.

Me: Shut up asshat!

Things start to come to a head as the Chief Librarian's underpants gnome is killed along with Fake Ace. Madcap hilarity for the audience ensues as The Doctor and Ace fool the Daleks with a bad bit of acting. Meanwhile Special Weapons Dalek is all like "screw you, I don't feel like killing today." He finally gets into the killing mood when Ace starts leaving nitro-9 presents all over the Library.

While Mike Tucker wouldn't have been my first choice for writing a Dalek audio he does a wonderful job. He's got a great grasp on the Seventh Doctor and Ace which finds a perfect outlet in audio form. Much like Miles in The Extinction Event Louise Faulkner doesn't get much to do, but hits it out of the park. For me at least the one drawback was the Chief Librarian who was a little too whiny for my taste.

Tim: And the moral of the story is to keep reading, kids! You don't have to commit genocide to gain knowledge. Just go to your local library.

Tonight is a double dose of Miles Richardson pwning in the audio department as we drop The Skymines of Karthos into the player. (Which contrary to the belief of at least one, if not more, is not the return of Stephen Fewell as Jason Kane) It is the return of Toby Richards for sound design which we're not too thrilled with. We are thrilled though with the first appearance of David Darlington composing music.Which manifests itself in a new theme that's ten times better than the previous one. (Though still not as cool as the Jason Kane theme, which really should become the new overall theme for Season 9)

Exposition this time shows up in the form of Benny leaving a long message on Brax's answering machine reading a letter she got from a friend that up to this point we hadn't heard of. It slowly goes from Benny reading the letter to Caitlin actually composing the message and having a less than tender moment with her husband, Michael.

Benny mentions her delicate condition and upon Tim's eyebrows raising well above his glasses I pause the player to explain the bird and bees Bennyverse style.

Constantine and Michael have a bitch fight over the whereabouts of Caitlin.,

Me: Rowr! Saucer of milk, table five. Man, if only the Harris County Medical Examiner's office was this much fun.

Tim: He's got a pin feed printer. Probably dot matrix.

Benny encounters the firefly creatures and she engages in maybe one of the best bits of the second season as she tries to convince the creatures not to kill her. Then she begins what Time Team friend Austin Dave describes as her treating Michael pretty much the same way she normally treats Jason at this point in the timeline. Benny may not be able to drink but we do as we re-engage our participation in the slowly growing Benny Drinking Game as she utters "goddess".

Me: Nice bit when Benny says Jason in all right. I don't know if it was a style choice on Lisa's part or direction from Ed Salt, but it's a nice quick moment of Benny showing concern for him after his return from Hell. Not sure if it's a continuity gaffe though when Michael asks if she's sure Jason's the father or if it's easier for Benny to tell people he's the daddy as opposed to the real story. If anyone can help me lay my hands on The Glass Prison I'd be grateful.

Double wow! An actual nice bit of sound design in Constantine's office right before Benny and Michael show up.

Me: That wasn't entirely bollocks. Maybe they let David Darlington do some sequences. And apparently Caitlin didn't tell Michael that Benny quickly takes charge in any situation she's involved in.

We encounter the possessed version of Caitlin and Constantine and they talk about killing everyone.

Tim: Yes, everyone must die.

Me: Keeps me in business.

Thankfully Michael is concerned about Benny's unborn child because Benny doesn't seem to be as she wants to climb down a mountain and hike eleven miles.

We learn that love does crazy things as Caitlin was apparently behind the fireflies attacking the village in an attempt to let Michael feel like the breadwinner. Benny and Michael make a run for the border when they realize just how much the fireflies want to kill people. Benny eventually goes back and pulls a Doctor trick as she tries to talk the fireflies out of killing people. Nuking the site from orbit sort of works in that it destroys the technology but makes the fireflies a tad pissed. Constantine pulls off a Jedi mind trick and sends the fireflies away.

Me: This might be the best one of the second season. Tight story with just the right amount of action and we don't bitch about the sound design.

If all goes well next month's installment will be our one year anniversary. And to celebrate I finally get my Stephen Fewell double feature as we do The Greatest Shop in the Galaxy and The Green Eyed Monsters from the Benny range and Red Dawn from the main Who line. (In earlier planning of audio listening I would've gotten this double feature in February with Just War and Red Dawn. Better late than never though.) I'm thinking to celebrate the annierversary and the Fewell double feature we should have steaks. Any other suggestions?

Gallifrey 20

2008-04-30T18:54:00.003-05:00

Ooo...Registration for Gallifrey 20 is up and running. Early registration for the low low price of $40.00 is good until May 15.

And they already have confirmed guests, including Time Team favorite Paul Cornell.

We'll definitely be there.

Will you?

----------------
Now playing: Ben Taylor - Nothing I Can Do
via FoxyTunes

Getting More Dangerous By The Second

2008-04-27T22:49:00.001-05:00

Well, I took the plunge and opened up a LJ account for the Audio Time Team

http://audio-time-team.livejournal.com/

For those of you that hang out on LJ a lot this gives you the chance to follow along. All the major posts will be posted there as well, but I hope I'd see our loyal 15 still post here. You guys were our first.

Two Bennys and a Colin

2008-04-27T20:07:00.002-05:00

Good afternoon my fine loyal 15. We celebrate our Benny sandwich with the Colin Baker meat with pizza and the latest anniversary beer from Shiner, Shiner 99. Tim enjoys this more than Shiner Black while I'm in the middle regarding this Munich style offering.

We drop The Secret of Cassandra into the player and immediately hear Benny telling people that her friends call her Benny. Which is a good thing since it's a Bernice Summerfield play. Would suck if friends call her Margaret. The joy at seeing the first Adrian Salmon cover is tempered by the sadness that Toby Richards is back doing sound and music design. You might remember we weren't too thrilled with his work on Dragon's Wrath.

Me: I hate it when I get shot out of the water when I fall asleep on my yacht and miss the warship warning me.

Benny whines and moans about probably dying alone and unloved on a deserted island.

Angelie: Shut up.

Me: Well, it's looks like Toby at least passed the ocean portion of sound design school.

Tim: They must've spanked him really hard after Dragon's Wrath.

We get the beginning of a title when Benny wakes up and learns the name of the ship is Cassandra. Benny apparently only drinks gin at certain times of the day as we get a little joke about what a yardarm is. Brennan tries to take control of the ship but gets shot down by the ship.

Angelie: Never try to override the system.

Tim: She (Brennan) is like that guy in the Horror of Fang Rock that caused the ship to ground ashore.

There's a more than pregnant pause as we move scenes to the apparently pivotal eating dinner portion of the audio. For like a minute we hear nothing but sounds of the three of them eating.

Angelie: Gee, there's three of us eating and we don't make that much noise.

All of a sudden the dinner party becomes the missing scene from Albee's Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? between Benny teasing Brennan about poisoning the wine and Brennan freaking out like Britney Spears trying to decide if she should go into the courtroom or not.

The sound goes all funny when Brennan talks with her prisoner. I guess it's supposed to show she's in a different part of the ship but it sounds like she's in a metal box and makes it hard to hear the dialogue.

Me: Benny's on sarcastic factor 10 as she recounts all the horribly things going on.

Tim: She likes to do that though. I enjoy when she runs through all the crap that happens to her. I'd do the same but not enough happens to me.

The background music as Colley gives us backstory over plot and the ship being named Cassandra sounds like they're in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe about to see King Friday. Sound design continues to be a bit dodgy as Cassandra helps Benny spring Sheen out of jail.

Me: Um...shouldn't decks of ships have water on them? Isn't that like saying it's cold in an ice hockey rink? Seriously, is that a lawnmower in the background on the ship.

Things go all pear shaped when the guy that Benny rescued turns out to be someone that really doesn't need to be rescued. We all laugh as Colley and Sheen think Benny won't be any problem.

Angelie: Trouble should really be her middle name.

Brennan continues to freak out as Benny tries to get her out of Colley's quarters.

Angelie: It sounds like she's going into labor.

Benny tried to get Brennan to focus on her and not Sheen.

Angelie: See, now Benny's her coach.

The Edward Albee stuff continues as everyone turns out to be various shades of grey. More exposition as we learn about Sheen's true nature and the real reason for Colley helping Sheen. And we get more questionable sound design.

Angelie: Are there seals by the ship?

Tim: Someone is turning a squeaky knob.

We learn that he is a she as we get the real title with Sheen revealing he's Cassandra. Colley talks about how Cassandra couldn't be possible of creating destructive weapons.

Me: Well, she also didn't have a penis before the war started. All I can imagine now is Tim Curry ala' Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Tim: So, when does Sheen go on Oprah?

Angelie: (singing) I know all there is to know about the crying game.

Cassandra the computer transfers the Cassandra now Sheen construct into her system.

Me: See, this would've been the perfect audio to have kd Lang sing the theme song.

We're treated to a samba version of the theme as the audio finishes.

Angelie: This would be perfect for Dancing with the Stars.

Me: Well, this didn't suck like Dragon's Wrath did.

Angelie: No, it didn't. And I stayed awake.

Me: Honestly, the only thing that holds this back is the once again questionable sound design. It's not on the level of Dragon's Wrath, but it's still lacking.

We take a quick break as Tim goes to set his laptop to run a virus scan. Angelie and I both want a karaoke version of Benny's theme. Maybe someone can work on that in time for Gallifrey 20.

After the break we drop in The Marian Conspiracy for the Colin Baker meat portion of this afternoon. We get immediately introduced to Evelyn as she's trying to give a lecture while being interrupted by the Sixth Doctor and his gadget that he can't shut off.

Me: (as the Sixth Doctor) I can't turn it off. It's my microwave.

Evelyn thinks she's got quiet time as she's knitting until The Doctor shows up.

Me: Maybe she's knitting an adipose.

Tim: Only the insufferably English would sing about knitting while they're knitting.

The Doctor takes Evelyn with him to the court of Elizabeth I and she starts to freak out as she's interfering with her ancestor.

Me: Like Marty McFly in Back to the Future?

We decide that Dr. Evelyn Smythe, a historian who likes booze, appears to be the main line's answer to Benny, an archaeologist who likes booze.

Tim: But not as sexy. And older. Think Benny but with dentures.

Evelyn strikes out on her own and stumbles upon a pub that's apparently full of ye olde MILF hunters. While Evelyn is getting the locals drunk The Doctor is making his entrance into what he thinks is Elizabeth's court. And finds himself mistaken for an OB/GYN for the supposed Virgin Queen who's knocked up. The episode ends with The Doctor getting ready to deliver Queen Mary's baby and Evelyn about to be killed by the rabble for supposedly supporting the usurper Queen Elizabeth. We take a quick break and talk about our varying opinions on Murray Gold's music for the New Series.

The second episode begins and Evelyn finds that the MILF hunters are also Elizabeth supporters. She heads off to meet the Reverend Thomas and I wonder if he's like John Thomas. The Doctor speaks with Mary.

Tim: I'm disappointed. I thought we were gonna find out that Mary, Queen of Scots escaped and had Elizabeth beheaded. It's just that they showed up early. I'm over complicating the plot in my head.

We listen in on a discussion on the ethics of burning heretics, the main issue being the it's not ethical to burn one if you're the one considered a heretic.

Tim: This may be the best script so far.

Eventually we come upon the sitcom moment as Evelyn teaches the MILF hunters how to make cocoa and shows them her heart pills. Our initial suspicions of Reverend Thomas being a spy is confirmed when he meets with the Frenchy Bishop. The second episode ends with Evelyn going all Marty McFly again.

We take a break to fix my ice cream needs and go to Culver's, a midwestern Dairy Queenesque restaurant that's slowly migrating to Texas. It's not Carvel, but it's good.

Queen Mary's sidekick tried to hook up with The Doctor and we note it would be like Billy Joel and his most recent wife. Evelyn and The Doctor get reunited, just in time for the Frenchy Bishop to accuse them of poisoning the Queen. Apparently Evelyn's got some frilly lacy things in her bag as she won't let the Frenchy Bishop touch them. They outwit Frenchy by letting the Queen take Evelyn's tylenol and then the Queen rewards The Doctor by hooking him up with her sidekick.

Evelyn learns the hard way that you shouldn't open your mouth when you're a historian hanging out in Queen Mary's court.

Me: Guess it wasn't such a good idea.

We all freak out as the third episode ends with Evelyn thinking The Doctor is her ancestor.

Tim: She's way too excited about this.

Before he can protest his role in procreating Evelyn's timeline the two of them get arrested for treason and stuck in the Tower.

Me: Guess this means he won't have time to father Evelyn's ancestor.

Eventually we learn that Evelyn's ancestors are really The Reverend and the Queen's Sidekick.

Me: Ooo....The Queen was cockblocking her.

Tim: At least it's not The Doctor's child.

We learn that it's not so much fun to burn heretics when you're the heretic about to be burned as the MILF hunters contemplate their fate. Then they get rescued by The Doctor and Evelyn. Evelyn collects them and their families like lost puppies and lets The Doctor whisk them away to a Protestant safehaven. Then she thinks of herself as Peabody with her boy Sherman as she insists The Doctor let her continue to travel with him. All ends that ends well as she offers to make him a chocolate cake and he notes that a piece of cake wouldn't go amiss.

Me: Oh, I don't think he's missed a piece of cake in a long time.

Tim: Well, I think it wasn't until the middle of episode three before we started turning to other things. Go Jac Rayner!

Angelie: Is it Benny time again?

Me: Yes.

Angelie: Yes!

Tim's brushing up on his Scrabble skills to one day hope to challenge Lisa at a future Gallifrey and not have the game end with him in the corner crying as we drop The Stone's Lament. We don't have to listen this time to Benny telling people to call her Benny as we push the play button.

Angelie: Now this is what I'm talking about.

I mention this was written by Mike Tucker and we get all excited. Then we notice Toby Richards returning for his third go around at ~~ruining~~ doing sound design. Another first is the introduction of Harry Myers as Adrian Wall, the Kiloran head of construction on the Collection. Toby seems to like the lawnmower background noise as he uses it to show Benny and Adrian are on a spaceship. There's talk of sex and I pause to explain the events of The Squire's Crystal.

Crappy sound design aside Benny gets some alone time with the creepy house owner, Bratheen Traloor, and he shows her his collection.

Me: Of etchings!

He goes on about how he likes to collect beautiful things.

Tim: Like Benny.

Me: So that makes him the Sultan of Brunei?

Things get freaky as Adrian keeps hearing Benny call for him. Benny's not into Furry as she beats the crap out of Adrian when she wakes up to find him looming over her bed.

Angelie: (regarding the rain sound) It's like they're frying bacon.

More bacon is added to the frying pan as we can hardly hear Adrian and Benny talk about what happened the night before.

Tim: I don't know why this reminds me of a PD James novel. Something about being stuck in a mansion with no one around and a rocky beach nearby.

Me: Could the music and sound effects be any more stereotypical for a story involving creepy things happening in a mansion?

Tim: Maybe they're going through the Big Finish back catalog.

Me: There wasn't much of a back catalog at this point.

Tim: I know.

Traloor offers Adrian some coffee and mentions he'll be in the study with Benny.

Tim: Making out with her.

Traloor then asks how long Adrian has known Benny.

Tim: See?

Traloor has a 2001 moment with his house's computer.

Tim: That's like the most mumbly computer I've ever heard.

Benny bemoans her luck of finding men who only think with their knuckles or balls.

Angelie: Yeah!

House then goes all Hal 9000 on Benny and Adrian. Things get super creepy when we get an in-story explanation for Lisa Bowerman voicing House. House starts to moan and the creep factor goes up.

Tim: So when New Order wrote "Bizarre Love Triangle" was it about this?

Traloor tries to convince Benny he's not all that creepy. And fails miserably.

Me: (as Benny) You don't know anything about me. You don't know about my ex-husband who's trapped in another dimension. You don't know about my body having sex with Adrian without me.

Tim: I don't know where Adrian came from but I like him.

Benny tells House what she wants to hear and in doing so pisses off Traloor. Traloor blames his lack of getting Benny into bed on House.

Me: House was the least of the reasons why Benny won't date you.

I can't decide if the change in House's voice is because it's gone hard light hologram or a case of crappy sound design. Creepiness continues as House eventually shows up in a body composed of the bits of Adrian's workers and Traloor's mind merged with hers. The Traloor/House creature says it's love that's caused everything.

Me: I don't think Hallmark makes a card for situations like this.

We all agree with Adrian when he says the conversation Benny is having with Traloor/House isn't going anywhere. Adrian eventually proves that sometimes it's good to think with your knuckles and balls as he managed to destroy Traloor/House.

Me: I liked this story, even if it was a bit too much of Stephen King meeting 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Tim: I enjoyed it for the most part but the dialogue towards the end was a little too much. I think it could've been about ten minutes shorts and I'd have been happy. I guess the reason why the computer was so mumbly in the beginning was to disguise that it was Lisa doing the voice.

Me: I picked up right away that it was Lisa but I just figured that it was for practical reasons as opposed to being story dictated.

I spend a few more minutes filling in Tim and Angelie in the backstory leading up to The Stones Lament, including the plot of The Twilight of the Gods.

Tim: It's ashame that's not an audio. That sounds fun.

Next month will be The Extinction Event and The Skymines of Karthos from the Benny range and The Genocide Machine from the main Who line.

For The Audiophile In Your Life

2008-04-23T19:59:00.002-05:00

Ah, my first post done on my sweet new Toshiba laptop, Joseph. (Yes, I am that pathetic for those of you who are probably right in your thought as to where the name comes from.)

For those of you that won't want to read me nattering on about my love of all things soundwise I will say that the main Team will get together this Sunday to listen to The Marian Conspiracy from the main Who range and from the Benny range we'll be doing The Secret of Cassandra and The Stones Lament. I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but you might've noticed a little widget that says "Chat with Daphnekowalski". If I feel adventurous enough and if any of our loyal 15 feel the same I might have my chat client open as we're doing our thing. Think of it as a chance to join the Team in a virtual capacity. Listen along, comment, and if you want I might include your witty comment in the official entry.

With the pimping done now all of you who just want to read me wax poetic about sound design can start reading. If you read the post regarding Dragon's Wrath from the last full Team session you might remember that we were all so horribly traumatized by the sound design in that audio that I said I might pop in Crystal of Cantus since that didn't suck. I followed through with that promise and later on the evening I listened to that one again.

My friends will tell you I'm a bit of an audiophile/audio snob. As background, for me at least the Time Team sessions are a departure from the norm because I normally listen to the audios with headphones. I either use my Sony dynamic stereo model MDR-V600 or Sony dynamic stereo professional model MDR-7506. I own a 20+ year old functioning turntable with the $100+ needle. My jury rigged 5.1 setup in my living room uses Bose bookshelf speakers. I refuse to buy an iPod until I can find an earlier model that will allow me to drop the Rockbox firmware on it, therby allowing me to listen to the various bits in my music library that are in the flac format. When I do burn audio onto one of my two mp3 players I normally do it at 320kbps.

Crystal of Cantus succeeds on every level of sound design that Dragon's Wrath so spectacularly failed on. As was talked about in the entry for Dragon's Wrath the sound editor couldn't even master the basic concept of making sure two people sound like they're having a conversation in the same room. While the story for Cantus is simply put, brilliant, what really brings me back to it is that just about every time I listen to it I hear something new.

And this is where the paragraph where I talk about my toys comes into play. I've listened to that audio on just about every system/option I have that allows me to play a CD. These include the CD player in my old desktop, my JVC DVD player, the Creative ZenV mp3 player, and even the old school Pioneer laserdisc player. (Yeah, I've got that too. Drop me a line if you know a place where I don't have to sell my first born to get some laserdiscs.)

Cantus is so layered and complex that I find a new reason to get all giggly about it the first time I play it in a new player. Especially the moments where you're moving from one scene to another are just an acoustic treasure. At this point you're probably going, "Oh come on, Redo. Any monkey can fade up one sound and fade down another in a scene transition." As a monkey that used to do a bit of audio/sound work when I was in college and right when I first graduated (sound forge) it's not as easy as it sounds. (no pun intended) You have to resist the temptation to fill every empty space with sound. You don't want your background elements to overpower the audio and at the same time you of course want your audience to get some semblance of atmosphere to help place your characters in context with their surroundings. Take a listen to Dragon's Wrath if you think I'm full of it.

What ultimately prompted the desire to do a post like this was that I was listening to Crystal of Cantus on the Creative ZenV using plain jane RCA ear buds. Normally I don't use the ear buds because I've yet to find a pair that don't hurt my ears in a couple of hours, but I thought it would look a bit silly if I had the huge headphones attached to the itty bitty mp3 player. Without spoiling the story itself I get to the point where Benny and Jason get split up. As our heroes are encountering the horror in the hospital ward we subtly shift to the perspective of a character that's watching them via monitors. We're shifting from one character's horror at discovering what's going on and for the first time that I can remember I catch that on the audio side the transition is being by not only changing how the character's voices sound but the character watching is humming a tune that sadistically fits the situation. (Blimey! That might win run-on sentence of the year.)

Again, it's rather subtle and I probably wouldn't have caught it if hadn't already listened to this audio over twenty times. It's indicative about what I love so much about this release from Big Finish though. I thought I had heard all the little audio tidbits that there were to be heard, but I was pleasantly proven wrong. And ultimately that's why this audio always ranks in my top 5 of all time.

----------------
Now playing: Ben Taylor - Someday Soon
via FoxyTunes

Dragon's Wrath and The Fearmonger

2008-03-30T13:42:00.005-05:00

Hello my little loyal 15 chickadees

In order to let Angelie get her Benny fix before she has to leave we start the afternoon off with Dragon's Wrath. Justin Richards adapts the novel that he wrote for this audio. Nothing really entertaining foodwise, but today's booze is brought to us by Widmer Brothers Hefeweizen.

We start talking again about the torch and twang theme song as we get the audio going.

Me: If I ever get rich I want to get kd Lang to do a version of this.

Tim: We should take the covers and animate them Maurice Bender style. Get some models and do it up real Bond like.

After some bloke gets shot Benny stumbles out of the bar and can't remember where her home is. She sobers up real quick when she finds her colleague bleeding in the alleyway. Then we get some bit with Benny announcing what she's gonna do next.

Me: Is this supposed to be a diary entry?

Tim: It's exposition. It has to go somewhere.

Benny shows up late for a meeting and for the beginning bit it sounds like they're meeting in a airplane hangar where someone put up some sound proofing in mid meeting. Jane Burke returns, previously heard as Tameka in Beyond the Sun. I hope we don't wish she was dead like we did the last time.

Tim: It's like they took the leftover music from Tears for Fears and the Sneaker Pimps and mixed them up.

Me: Seriously, it's like they couldn't stand to hear silence so they just let their kid go to town on the casio keyboard and dropped it in at odd moments.

Benny and Clyde end up accepting the offer they can't refuse and after another crappy bit of blatant exposition are having dinner with Nusek. They toast to a successful expedition.

Me: They're crukked.

After wine and food they get a tour of Nusek's goodies which apparently is nestled inside a volcano.

Tim: Diarrhea is a storm raging inside all of us.

Me: Is Clyde in a totally different room having this conversation with Benny? Honestly, the sound design for this audio is horrible. I think we did a better job with SFT: 2.

Tim: We did.

Angelie and I begin to get our groove on to the music as Benny and Clyde try not to get eaten by a dog thing.

Tim: That sounded more like a feral cat. That's supposed to be a dog? Couldn't they at least program it to sound like a dog?

Apparently the cryloks have their own theme music as the same disco song returns as the next crylok arrives. Once again we all get our doggie groove on.

Tim: Ace! Turn your boombox off!

Me: I think I heard a dog bark this time.

Tim: Yeah, I heard it too. Maybe they reached the end of the sound clip. Oh wait, now it's a cat again. It sounds like a cougar. Shasta's back there trying to kill them.

They escape the cryloks and find a doorway. They wonder where it leads to.

Me: Maybe a better script and better sound design.

Tim: They would've been better off leaving Just War as the season finale.

Angelie: The chimes remind me of the beginning of Cirque de Soliel's Allegria.

Me: God, I'd rather listen to Birthright.

There's some random snapping in the background.

Tim: What the hell is that?

Angelie: (acting like she's tapping a mic) Is this thing on?

Tim: Okay, there's something about a dragon, a cat and someone playing raquetball.

I do some research and find that it's a new guy doing the sound.

Tim: Let's hope he gets better. Does the Secure channel sounds better? And like Ghostlight I think the music is way too loud.

Judging by the sound design Benny is like twenty feet away when she wakes Clyde up. Stuff happens and Benny returns home.

Tim: Did Wolsey just shoot her?

Angelie: She fell.

Me: I think she got attacked.

Kamadrich finds Benny in the bar and says someone's trying to kill her.

Me: Why couldn't they try to kill you during Beyond the Sun?

Angelie: Don't drink the coffee!

Benny gets all pissy when she gets called a second rate archaelogist and kicks Kamadrich's ass.

Me: Now we get the riveting Star Trek style court room scene.

This audio just makes me sad. Justin Richards did an excellent job with The Whispers of Terror. This is a huge step backwards not only for the Benny range but for Richards as well. Especially since he was adapting his own novel. I won't even get into him leaving Braxiatel out of this audio adaptation.

The final few minutes blow huge chunks. Melodramatic factor nine. We end up so disinterested with this that we start to talk about the new Speedracer movie coming out later this year. I wonder if they'll get the monkey from Friends to play Chim-Chim. There's much rejoicing as the audio ends until we find there's like a bossa nova version of the theme song.

Tim: Wow! As good as the last one was, this one wasn't.

Angelie: Yep.

Tim: I don't know why bongos equal anime, but all I can see is the end sequence of Voltron.

We decide to take a break to wash the taste of the Dragon's Wrath out of our system.

Me: I think I'll be listening to Crystal of Cantus later, because you know, that didn't suck.

Once the taint of Dragon's Wrath has been removed we pop The Fearmonger into the player. I'm all giddy because we hit our first Seventh Doctor adventure since Sirens of Time.

Ace hooks up with an old mate from Perivale who has basically created on his own a phone tracer.

Me: And he ran? He ran so far away?

Ace shows she's no Doctor Phil as she fails to keep Walter from freakin out. Walter escapes and The Doctor and Ace go for some tea. Later on The Doctor fails at his attempt to be Doctor Phil when Keyser goes all nutty. Ace gives it another go as they try to keep Walter from blowing the place up.

As the first episode ends and the second one begins Tim and I begin to debate whether this is a parallel universe or not.

Me: It's ashame that Big Finish won't use Jon Blum anymore for audios or that Jon won't write for them again. This is the best one so far.

Towards the end Ace tries to play the Doctor as she attempts to convince Alexander to not kill her. She's not so successful as the second episode ends with her being shot.

Me: Oops! Guess that wasn't such a good idea.

Tim: Remind me not to try that next time I'm held at gunpoint. Sadly the argument of 'look me in the eye, pull the trigger' only works with sane people.

Me: The kind and cuddly Ace didn't work this time.

Tim: Sadness and pain.

Me: For Ace.

The Doctor shows his soft and cuddly side as he tells the Fear Creature that the worst thing that could ever happen to him with Ace being shot. We get another tender moment between Ace and The Doctor as he get all nine kinds of remorseful for her getting shot. I eventually realize that Mick Thompson's theme sounds a lot like Depeche Mode's I Just Can't Get Enough.

Not the most riveting of cliffhangers as the third episode ends. I finally make the connection that the Vince Henderson playing Mick is indeed the same Vince Henderson that's married to Sophie. The Fearmonger ends in typical New Adventures fashion with the Doctor having to talk Ace down from the ledge as the Fear Creature ends up in her.

Tim: That was a hell of a lot better than the Benny play today. Maybe they were freaking out because they only had one disk to work with.

Me: Still no excuse for shitty sound editing.

Tim: That's true.

I don't know when we'll get back together, but next time we should be doing The Marian Conspiracy in the main Who range and The Secrets of Cassandra and The Stones Lament in the Benny range. For you Sapphire and Steel fans tune back next week when the S&S team gets together for Daisy Chain.

Sapphire and Steel - The Passenger

2008-03-16T14:47:00.011-05:00

Wonders of wonders I'm doing stuff that's not Benny or Doctor Who this session. When I started this project I wanted to do the entire Big Finish back catalog. Today we move on to Sapphire and Steel, and I'm bringing some new friends along: Jamie and Monica. And let's be honest, if I'm pretentious enough to call myself the Unofficial Benny Pimp I'm pretentious enough to call myself the Unofficial Sapphire and Steel Pimp.

Before we get on to the audio though here's your regularly scheduled pimping that's not Benny or Sapphire and Steel in nature.

For the Bond lover among my loyal 15 check out Simon's latest blog entry, a lovely critique of the Bond literary catalog.

Have you ever hung out with Rob Shearman? Have you ever ridden Splash Mountain? Have you ever ridden Splash Mountain with Rob Shearman and gotten horribly wet while he stayed dry? No? Well, neither have I but somebody did and they made a t-shirt commemorating said wetness.

Speaking of t-shirts how many of you, my loyal 15, would be down with Audio Time Team apparel? Not only am I pretentious enough to gloss myself various nicknames, but I have a big enough ego to think that people might actually buy stuff with our logo on it when I get one. Is my ego right or is it alone?

Now, on to the audios. Today we'll be doing The Passenger. We're hanging out at The Coffee Shoppe getting hopped up on caffeine. After teaching Jamie where the play button is we get things rolling.

Scott: (on the opening theme) Sounds like King Friday is about to show up.

The man speaking finds he can't get a signal and I note he must not have Verizon. Then he gets a signal and starts bitching out some poor bastard on the other line. Which leads to him sporting a chubby when he sees the train is steam powered. Boys and their toys.

Jamie: It's the original intro to the tv series.

Monica: So they (Sapphire and Steel) just appeared on this train?

Sapphire stutters her way through asking Burgess to see his book.

Me: Is she channeling Shatner?

Burgess' chubby gets bigger as he starts going all anorak about trains. Maybe he needs to spend some time with The Station Agent.

Monica: When is this set?

Jamie: That's what they're trying to figure out.

Monica: I know, but I'm assuming he's talking about a cell phone.

Jamie: It's set in 2004.

Things get all creepy when Steel encounters a girl asking about her father.

Me: (sounding like The Empty Child) Are you my daddy?

More creepy stuff involving the girl. Steel wants to see her again and asks Sapphire to find her.

Me: Why don't you find her yourself?

Jamie: He doesn't have the same powers.

Yet more creepy stuff with the little girl. And then we get more people on the train. Mrs. Warburton sounds a bit like Maggie Stables. We cut back and forth between Steel grilling Mrs. Warburton and Sapphire dealing with Creepy Girl and Burgess. Burgess mutters in his sleep about not meaning to kill anyone.

Monica: Is he talking about his daughter?

Jamie: That's part of the mystery.

They've broken these up like they've done the Doctor Who audios as we get to the end of the first audio, learning that everyone on the train is a ghost. The second part opens with Andrews popping a cap in someone's ass. Mrs. Warburton talks about feeling all tingly.

Me: Did Tom Baker look at her?

And Mark Gatiss comes to save the day as Gold. Is he required to sound creepy in all his roles? Or does Big Finish just go to him when they've got a character that's supposed to be evil/creepy sounding? Either way Gold stalks off all pissy when he discovers his services are not currently needed.

Me: Meow!

Andrews starts to tell his tale and blubbering about how he screwed up. Jamie and I both start making pouty faces. We go from one whiny male to another as Burgess talks about his dream involving the little girl.

Gold makes a horrible pun involving Time when he sees the conductor.

Jamie: For the "time" being.

The train stops again and Sapphire notes she can't read any potential new passengers.

Me: Because Mrs. Warburton won't shut up.

Jamie: Shut your big yapper!

The lightbulb goes on as Mrs. Warburton finally realizes they're trapped in a Sartre play.

Me: God I wish that car had destroyed her vocal cords.

Gold and Steel fight over whether to destroy the train or not.

Me: It would take care of Mrs. Warburton.

Jamie: Maybe not. The car didn't.

All three elements decide they need to protect Burgess. Which of course means they can't blow the train up. They also realize that they're acting out the book and Sapphire notes that Burgess is playing the role of the victim, the one that apparently all the passengers in the book kill. And then we get to the end of disk one.

Jamie: What do you think so far?

Me: I'm liking it.

Monica: He couldn't have killed everyone, but he must've had a hand in some of the deaths, like Mrs. Warburton.

Jamie: That's the thing with these audios. There's no exposition, you just get thrown into the middle of the action like Sapphire and Steel, having to figure things out as they do. You never know exactly who they are or who they work for. All you know is that they need to keep time on track, no pun intended. It's more creepy than the tv show because you can't see what's going on. And that's all I'm saying.

We send Jamie on a pizza run to Little Ceasar's. He returns and we pop the second disk in. Speaking of which, my understanding has always been that Benny is only a single disk because it costs too much and the audios don't sell enough. You can't tell me that Sapphire and Steel sell better than Benny to warrant to double disks. Yes, the stories are detailed, but Benny could be just as detailed if they let it go to two disks. I can't be the only one a twitter with the range of possibilities, say if they ever did a double disk Dave Stone audio for the Benny range.

Gold gets a whiff of whatever everyone else is smoking as he experiences the various dreams Burgess has been suffering from. He and Sapphire realize Time is all bent out of shape and causing the other passengers to blame Burgess for their various deaths.

Then we get treated to more warbling from Mrs. Warburton. She tries to rally the others to form a lynch mob to go after Burgess. Honestly, her voice is working on my last good nerve. Sapphire shuts her up briefly as she forces her to try and remember the real surname of her employer.

Burgess decides that he thinks he's been put on the train as a punishment.

Me: Stuck on a train with Mrs. Warburton?

The wheels on the train go round and round faster as we move from the third episode to the fourth one. Steel starts asking for Gold which leads us to do our best Goldmember impersonations.

Me: God, just let them kill Burgess if it means Mrs. Warburton will shut up.

Gold talks Burgess into sitting at the train controls.

Me: He said throbbing...

Steel continues to talk to the passenger, trying to keep Time from getting back with Morris Day in between Gold being a rather lousy motivational speaker.

Me: He said friction...

Jamie: He said pull the lever...

Burgess talks about going to jail and I wonder if he went to Federal pound me in the ass prison.

The passengers slowly start disappearing until we're left with Mrs. Warburton.

Jamie: (subdued) Ya.

Me: Boo frickin' who. Shut the hell up and disappear already.

Jamie: Even when she's wrong she won't shut up.

She finally does and we all cheer for joy.

Sapphire bitches about Gold's tactics even though she and Steel admit Gold saved the day.

Me: (as Sapphire) Thank you Gold for saving our lives.

We finish the audio and Monica becomes our S&S version of Angelie as she falls asleep. We brief her on how the audio ended.

Not sure when we'll get together again for the next Sapphire and Steel installment but check back on the 30th for the next main Time Team installment.

Gallifrey - Day Five

2008-03-16T08:16:00.005-05:00

Yes, I know, Day Five is coming to you like a month after it actually happened. Better late than never though, eh?

Anyway, let me mention a couple of things that I forgot in the previous travelogue posts.

1. Whovians know their Doc Martens. I have a pair over 13 years old that I had gotten shined at the airport while I was waiting to board the plane to go to LA. I got many comments on them as people couldn't believe that they were that old and that I had never gotten the soles redone. People were actually feeling the leather because it looked so new. And I wear my Docs daily.

2. The Saturday night Scrabble game. It is a spectator sport when Lisa and Simon play. I felt horribly inadequate in my vocabulary as I watched them seriously get into the game and bust out words I'd never heard of. (Though I can proudly say I knew what 'bier' was. And not just from work.) I'd have challenged them, but I was terribly afraid the game would end with me in the corner, sobbing, and in the fetal position after I got my ass handed to me. Much more entertaining than any Scrabble tournament aired in ESPN2.

On to Day Five...

Day Five had me waking up relatively refreshed as I got the most amount of sleep since I hit LA. This morning I refused to give Starbucks any of my money and just drank the coffee the hotel provides in the room. I survived and it was actually rather good. Had a bit of fun drinking that coffee sitting in front of the Starbucks working some more on the post that would become the Special Edition: Lost Museum post.

Started saying goodbye to the hordes of new friends as people slowly went back home. Talked a bit about the Chicago TARDIS and heard some more convention war stories from those in the trenches. (By the way, they just announced the addition of Paul Cornell to the guest list for this year's event. Road Trip anyone?)

I actually left the hotel for protracted periods of time on Monday as Tim, Angelie and I hung out with an old friend of hers. We ended up in Santa Monica having sushi at this little place right on the water. I probably could've pointed to a fish in the ocean, said "I want that one", and have it on my plate in twenty minutes. As it was I went with the fresh sashimi which I speared inelegantly with chopsticks because I have no skill and I wasn't going to ask for a fork.

Then we went to this open air mall and walked around for a bit. We spotted a Borders that had a Seattle's Best shop inside. I was reticent to drag the others inside just to satisfy my coffee fix, but Angelie mentioned that she'd been so impressed with meeting Simon saturday night that she wanted to buy The Pirate Loop. It seems like Borders was reading her mind because look at how easy it was to find it.For the record I didn't do anything to their display. Some enterprising stock boy did it all on his own.

All good things must come to an end and we made our way back to the hotel to retrieve luggage so we could come back to Houston.

I've said it before and I will say it again, if you can manage to make it out to Gallifrey next year do so. It was by far the best convention experience I've ever had.

On the Pimp Front...

2008-03-03T19:32:00.004-06:00

There's an audio interview with Lisa Bowerman and Gary Russel at American Who. I haven't listened to it yet, but come on, it's Lisa and Gary. It won't suck.

The next full Time Team get together will be the 30th of March. For those of you keeping score at home we'll be doing The Fearmonger and Buried Treasures, the nifty keen special you got if you ordered the full Time Ring trilogy.

Also for those of you following my drunken adventures at Gallifrey I should have Day Five up either late tonight or tomorrow. And it will have pictures.

Gallifrey - Day Three

2008-03-02T19:37:00.003-06:00

(Well, now that I've put up the Special Gallifreyan Edition of the Time Team I can actually post about Day Three of the convention without having to dance around getting the Time Team together.)

Day three began the way day two ended, with me on the floor passed out. I was awoken sometime after 7am when Angelie tripped over me. Apparently that caused a bit of a stir because she and Tim thought I had brought someone back to the room to sleep it off before they realized it was me sleeping it off. With others awake and the sun shining I was able to navigate the stuff on the my bed to find a patch for me to sleep on. Note I still didn't have it in me to actually clear anything off.

They went to breakfast with an old college friend and I slept a bit more. I finally dragged myself out of bed when the allure of food was too much to ignore. Due to the lateness of when I finally started to move I ended up missing the one on one with Sophie. I'm kind of sad, but then again I needed to have some solids pass through my lips for the first time in over 24 hours. A shower and a trip to Denny's for Moons over my Hammy later I was feeling slightly human again.

I caught a tad of the panel on whether there's too much Who. Sadly being in one of the side rooms meant that it was packed and very hard to hear what anyone was saying since no one was mic'ed. I stayed for a bit and then started in earnest to put a live Time Team together.

It all really started Thursday night when we introduced ourselves to Paul Cornell. If you read his blog on a regular basis you'd have seen that he said he would love to for anyone that read the blog and was going to the convention to say 'hi' and mention his blog. After helping to purchase a round of lagers for him, Steven Moffat and Simon Guerrier I did just that, saying I read his blog and thanked him for pimping this one. When he asked which one and I mentioned the blog's name that opened the door for some conversation. During the conversation Tim mentioned an email that I had sent a few months ago saying wouldn't it be fun if maybe on the last day we did a Time Team from the con, getting together anyone that actually read the blog if we found them to hang out with us. Somehow this turned into us asking Paul if he would like to take part in something if we could put it together. He was on board if we could make it work schedule wise and then we were off to the races. Then he mentions how we should ask Simon and Lisa as well.

I completed the Simon half of that later Thursday evening when I did the same conversation starting technique of mentioning his blog and thanking him for pimping this one. Conversation pretty much went the same as before, this time me being able to say that Paul was on board for a live Time Team, would he. At this point I decided we should do The Lost Museum so in theory all three would have something to talk about.

Friday had come and gone without being able to meet and talk with Lisa since I had to dash off to the hockey game. From talking with Paul I knew that Saturday night was probably gonna be the best bet for all parties involved. So I left the panel on Too Much Who? and went in search of Shaun Lyon, hoping for some help. This is basically how that conversation went:

Me: Hey, I don't know if you've heard of us or not, but I run a blog called the Audio Time Team where we're slowly going through the Big Finish catalog.

Shaun: Yeah, I've seen the posts on Outpost Gallifrey.

Me: Cool. I was wondering, what are the odds I could get a room to do a live one in? I've got Paul, Simon and possibly Lisa on board to join us.

Shaun: We're always looking for more fan panels. Drop me an email in 6 or 7 months when we start working on the programming.

Me: That's great. I'll do that. But I actually meant tonight.

Once I clarified that I didn't want to actively counter program against Ed and Jenny's wedding and that I wanted to do it during the 2 hour block in the evening where nothing besides the wedding was planned we were off the races.

I had the time frame and a place. Now I just needed to track all parties involved and see whether it worked for them or not. In between all this Tim and I managed to see Joel Hodgson and Josh Weinstein, formerly of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and now part of Cinematic Titanic. It had been rumored as early as Thursday that Joel and Trace Beaulieu might show up. On Friday Joel's appearance had been confirmed. As with the Too Much Who panel we found the same problem with this panel. Tiny room, tons of people, and the room next door showing some kind of video with the volume turned up to eleven. Add to this Joel being a soft spoken kind of person and it was a losing proposition for us being in the back to really hear anything. We stayed for about 15 minutes and then slipped out of the room.

I made my way to the main room for the panel on Benny. Much fun was had as we learned the real reason Stephen Fewell got casted without an audition and that Simon is a fan of Withnail and I. Or at least of Ralph Brown from the movie. We also got to watch the guy who had blown the ending to The End of the World the day before offer his mea culpas for doing so. Afterwards I waited for Simon to leave the stage and find a free moment to explain that I had a room adn a time and was he still free.

After determining that he was still on I made mention how I hadn't had a chance to talk to Lisa as of that point. He said he could fix that right away to which Lisa must've overheard that because she turned around. She explained that she hated to love me and leave but that she had to dash off to an autograph session. She made it a point to actually find my name badge, read the name on it, and then say that she'd try to talk later. I said I understood and as she started to turn around I mentioned "Time Team". This got a look of recognition and an "Oh, then we definitely need to talk" response. I did my best West Wing walk and talk as I quickly mentioned the plan for the evening and got her agreement to participate. I used the resulting autograph session to not only get my cd covers from The End of the World and The Final Amendment signed, but to also solidify her participation in the live Time Team.

Hopefully you've read the post on the Live Time Team so you know how those few hours went. And if you haven't read it, shame on you. Go! Read it now! I'll wait...

For me the rest of the evening was spent hanging out with more new friends, tickled pink that I had just spent serious quality time with Simon and Lisa, and then drinking with Paul and Rob Shearman. The highlight of that that portion being teaching Paul about QI fanfiction and hearing Rob exclaim, "It's apricotty" when taking a sip of a apricot hefeweizen.

I finally rolled into bed around 2am, the earliest I had seen my bed up to this point in the convention.

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